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About biscuitcat

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    Illustration, interior design, animal rights, sewing.

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  1. One day I did feel completely different, like it had gone. But please remember it can come and go, and obsessions can change. if you have any points of stress or anxiety you may have obsessive thoughts. But how we react to the thoughts is what matters. Just try to take care of yourself and keep practicing what you learnt in therapy. I hope you continue to feel like this though
  2. Hi Roy, Thanks for your response. The GP said I have the best chance of coming off them if I take them for 12 months or more. The GP I saw when I decided to try last time didn't mention that. So I'm going to have them again and then see how I feel in a year. I feel no stigma for taking them, and if they help me then why should I!
  3. Hi everyone. In October I started a slow process of coming off my medication. At first I start taking half the dosage, then after a month and a half I cut it in half again then after a couple of weeks took one every other day, then ever few days. I recently stopped taking them and life events have made it very difficult. Today i feel terrible and have decided to see my gp about it and I hope to start again. I found 5mg the perfect daily dose to feel 'normal' but with twinges of anxiety so I could use techniques I was taught in therapy. I wanted to write this post so anyone struggling with coming to terms with taking medication doesn' feel ashamed or concerned. I may try coming off it again in summer when the weather is nicer and life events have calmed down. Sometimes life throws us curve balls and we need to do what's right for us as individuals.
  4. I think it means talking more about the feelings, rather than the content of the thought. How does the thought make you feel? Sad, confused, anxious, worried, bad, guilty etc. Having OCD and dealing with the obsession can make us feel so tired and anxious the content of our obsession is almost secondary if that makes sense. I also personally found it made me feel so trapped inside my own head talking about it helped me to not feel so isolated and broke up the thought process a bit. I would also always encourage you to use the forum to discuss how you feel and try and separate the content of your OCD from your family and friends. Like you say you don't want to upset them, and I find it really encouraging that I can talk to people when I need it without affecting my relationships and worrying those around me. Saying that it's also important to have a support network and let people know when you are feeling down or low. They don't have to engage in the obsession itself but can reassure you that you are loved and they are there to help you. I hope this made sense and hasn't confused you further.
  5. Hiya. I say you should just try the therapy and see how it goes. Plus remember therapy isn't a one way street. you do all the hard work just with someone to help and explain things and help you to see things differently. Your constantly thinking about it because you are engaging in this argument in your head (we've all been there, so please don't take this comment as judgement) It's a really tiring process trying not to engage in compulsions but it definitely becomes easier and it will help to be able to talk about lots of different things with your therapy, hopefully you will touch upon the OCD but also other stressful areas of your life and it will help you come up with a plan on how to deal with the OCD now, but also future anxieties. Before I got therapy I was really worried about it purely based on what I had seen on TV, which is nothing like therapy and I found it such a rewarding experience. I was excited for the sessions and it felt so nice knowing I could talk to someone.
  6. Nice one! I decluttered and sorted out the kitchen cupboards on Boxing Day, it's so nice to have a clean and organised home for the new year. Every time I take an extended period away from work, for a holiday say, I always feel a bit odd going back. But I do feel healthier with a routine so I'm looking forward to that. I'm starting to put my new 2018 goals into action and taking photos of illustrations for my online shop. Excited to give this a go and have a project to work on
  7. Definitely, it also promotes a feeling of usefulness which can help break down the negativity brought on my OCD. Feeling a bit low today so I'm currently changing and washing the bedsheets. Next I'm going to do some washing up and I might pop out to buy an SD card for one of my cameras. Trying not to focus on my low mood and be beneficially busy and hopefully have a nice chat on here. I don't normally feel lonely but my boyfriend has gone back to work today so just a change of pace after Christmas for us.
  8. Roy you have worded this perfectly. One thing I have taken on board through my therapy sessions and this forum is OCD can crop up at any time - I can be doing well for 6+ months then one random thought can become distressing. What I now know to do is, acknowledge the thought is distressing me and accept that. I don't need to try to prove myself to my anxiety, it only worsens. Plus I am all for being beneficially busy It's the best way to get out of our own minds and focus on reality.
  9. Hi Chels, I'm sorry to hear you are struggling, I remember what it was like to be having the thoughts 24/7 and it is so distressing and difficult. The problem with OCD and intrusive/repetitive thoughts is the more we try not to think about it, we automatically bring the thought/image into our own brains again - then play this loop of 'well if I'm thinking it it must mean something' or 'well if it didn't mean anything then I wouldn't have such an intense reaction'. The reason you are having an intense reaction is because it's so the opposite of what you want, this combined with the anxiety exacerbate the thought and make it even stronger, but then your reaction remains the same, because you can't stand this thought. Does that make sense? As humans we have weird and wonderful thoughts all the time, and some of them are rubbish. Some of the rubbish we ignore automatically, and won't remember because it doesn't distress us, some we will acknowledge are odd but then we let them go, and then because of the anxiety this thought is lingering because you find it so distressing. But the truth is this thought can go away. I can prove that, I have been free from my obsession for over a year now, sometimes the thought crops up again, but I can let it go. Another thing about OCD is your 'theme' can change, and we have to apply the same techniques to each theme that may crop up. My best advice is to carry on with your day. This sounds ridiculous but you might find something to distract you away from it, even just having a few hours break from these distressing thoughts is a good start. The longer the break is the better, and eventually you might wake up and it's not there, later in the day it might pop up again, but any salvation away from OCD is a plus. Spend time with other people - Sometimes I'll feel anxious in the middle of the night, and just holding my boyfriends hand, or putting my hand on his shoulder grounds me. It brings me back to the moment, this is reality. This is where I am. I don't need to be inside my own head all of the time. Spend your days with friends, family or your boyfriend. Other people are often the best distraction. Also just to relate to the theme of your OCD - I have had a couple of dreams over the past month that I have cheated on my boyfriend. I wake up distressed, but they are just nightmares. I dislike this thought, and that's the reaction you need to pay attention to. You don't want to think it, you don't want to be with someone else. You are distressed because of the love you have for your partner. Sorry to go off on a tangent, but you are in the right place for support.
  10. I love a positive posts about goals, we can encourage each other to achieve them and break them down into manageable chunks. My goals for 2018 are: To stop buying single use plastic items -, I have a 'zero waste' food shop near me, so I want to make the most of that. I decided this after watching an episode of Blue Planet where a whale's calf died because of plastic pollution, and I just couldn't stop crying. So I'm going to try to do my bit. Be more kind to my brain and body - This very much links to my continuing recovery and journey into good mental health. I've done really well, but I think we can always make positive changes. This includes trying to be positive, to be realistic with goals and what I can achieve at work. Try to practice mindfulness more often, look after my sleep cycle, lots of small changes I hope. Give up alcohol - Whether this is just for a while or for the whole year I'm not sure, but I know this is the best thing for my body. Set up my Etsy Shop - I would really like to put some effort and time into my Etsy Shop and try to sell illustrations. Long term I would like this to be a bigger part of my income so I could potentially work 4 days at my full time job, and one day at home.
  11. Hiya. I'm glad I found this thread. I don't drink heavily but this Nye I didn't eat properly and can't remember parts of the night. My OCD has been very good for most of the year, I no longer have the anxious reaction to intrusive thoughts. But not remembering what happened has really peaked my anxiety - I think I will get over it, but everytime someone mentions nye I now feel really anxious, what if I did or said something inappropriate? For me this has really highlighted how drinking alcohol just isn't worth it for me. Especially as a celebration where i'm more likely to get carried away. I can't remember the last time I felt as bad as I did yesterday, both physically and mentally, it's been a long time. What I need to do now is just accept I can't remember certain things, and whatever happened, happened. Even if that makes me feel really uncomfortable and anxious. But yes, I think I will be saying farewell to alcohol, my body just can't cope with it.
  12. Hi Caramoole, Thanks for your responses. I have found things seem to be settling down. To help me relax when I go to sleep I have been taking a hot water bottle to bed, I think this has helped ease my mind about the side effects I've had in regards to my sleep, plus it's absolutely freezing, so it's helping me keep warm Since doing this I've found I've slept all through the night and haven't had as many vivid/anxious dreams. I'm going to take the process of stopping the medication slowly. So in a couple of weeks I may start taking a tablet every other day, so I can draw a line in the sand at the end of January or Feb. The GP was happy with me taking my time and I won't ever feel ashamed if I need to go back to taking the medication.
  13. Hi Jennie, I live in London and I don't think this is just an OCD thing. A lot of people who don't live in London and even those who do are a little scared to use the tube nowadays. But you're right, we shouldn't let these thoughts change our behaviours - take that leap of faith. I Nowadays, more to location than anything else I only take the overground. If you can I would suggest the overground - it doesn't feel as packed and claustrophobic, and being able to see above ground and look at the views somehow makes me feel more safe. The overground also doesn't have individual compartments, you can move freely from one end to the other, so it's a much nicer train to get around on.
  14. Thanks for this post - I think it's really good to point out what we achieve in spite of our OCD and use this to motivate and inspire ourselves and others. I completed my degree without a break and achieved a 2:1 in the midst of OCD. I wish I had got a first, but I'm grateful I completed it and didn't drop out or push it back a year. Within a couple of months of my degree I got an admin job and during that time looked for a permanent position with charities. I'm now working for a charity and have some clear goals of what I want to learn before pursuing my next job. In February it will have been a year ( Time Flies! ) When my Grandad died earlier this year I didn't let OCD take full hold again, I did need to start medication, but I was adamant not to let my mental health ruin my accomplishments so far. I've now moved out into my own flat and am feeling much much better, and of course with this forum I can always drop in if I need a little advise or encouragement. Looking forward to hear others share stories of resilience and accomplishments.
  15. So I did a bit of 'therapy' on myself when I woke up last night. The dreams last night were very vivid and unpleasant which is why I woke up, but they were only dreams and the problem was my reaction, not the dreams themselves. So I focused on my breathing and held Mr Biscuitcats hand - I find holding his hand if i am anxious or feeling unwell at night reminds me of where I am and takes me out of my own head a little bit. Then I focused on my breathing and fell back to sleep. I'll see how I go and if the sleep situation doesn't improve then I will go back to the GP and talk to her about different options. I think with me the tablets have always been more of a 'placebo' type effect. Knowing I'm taking them made me feel better, I don't know if anyone else will agree with that. But maybe I could look into replacing them with a vitamin or something and seeing if that helps. (eventually, i'm not going to go cold turkey) Again, thank you for your input and the link to Mind. I did see sleep disturbances was a side effect.
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