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battlethrough

Bulletin Board User
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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    bristol

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  1. battlethrough

    was doing great then crash

    i am pb i realy am.i start intensive therapy in a month.its snared me.i know its similar.it kills to know i purposly positioned my leg thinking she would lean back.i know i need help.the wait is so long.luvox was helping but i couldnt get a repeat prescription on the weekend.then this awful drunken night.theres almost no dought i had bad intention
  2. battlethrough

    was doing great then crash

    thanks roy.im going to realy try not to do cumpolsions and fall further down.i already feel the need to confess.seek reasurance.google etc.got to try so hard not to.
  3. battlethrough

    was doing great then crash

    thanks roy.its so hard to beleave i wasnt wanting something.i will try to relable
  4. battlethrough

    was doing great then crash

    is it possible when drunk that ocd attacks because your innabitions are down.it just feels there was bad intent as if i was wanting it to happen.and only the next morning was i horrified
  5. battlethrough

    was doing great then crash

    just so sad and confused.all seems real bad intent
  6. battlethrough

    was doing great then crash

    but i feel i intended to.feel sick with it .i know that i just have to fight again.life eh
  7. battlethrough

    was doing great then crash

    when i read other post it seems ive gone to far as its like i tried for something by moving my leg and that my brain was almost planning to make something happen.is that normal
  8. battlethrough

    was doing great then crash

    at one point i moved my leg round.im e i did it hopeing she would lean back. ok i know what im doing.going down the rabbit whole.just scared again
  9. battlethrough

    was doing great then crash

    it was as if i was really enjoying the d y.i just feel disgusted ththoughts and wanted something to happen.i know its same old.sorry.i just feel disgusted it felt ok at the time
  10. battlethrough

    was doing great then crash

    thankyou all.god i just cant beleave how i feel today.i know from an outsiders point of veiw it seems ocd but of course when it hots i think its not.because i was boozed up the thoughts seemed ok but how can i have such sexual thoughts about her.it was if i was enjoying them and didnt care.almost like i wanted something to happen.and if she had tried it on i might have.i have this sick darkness taking over again
  11. battlethrough

    was doing great then crash

    do i sound like a creep
  12. i went out last night and rowed with partner.ended up sitting by a stream with my sister.sexual thoughts were constant .at one point she leaned back on me and i moved my leg to wrap around her.i remember looking at her and my brain thinking shes hot.the thoughts felt so real.really disgusting things that i wanted to do but in the cold light of day make me sick.how can booze make me so sleezy .i honestly beleive i wanted to sleep with her
  13. battlethrough

    Just won't go away

    Thnx,I try not to dwell but it pulls me in with questions like so you wanted to have a child with her then or saying it must be more than a fantasy because of the storyline,when will I learn to stop doing stuff I know I'll feel incredably guilty for later
  14. battlethrough

    Just won't go away

    Thanks will, I didn't want to post on here as I know it's the same old same old. I am really trying hard.I haven't confessed to so.I'm refusing to Google constantly and am trying not to seek to much reassurance, I'm on luvox for 2 weeks now and it has lifted my mood but the obsessionAl thinking still needs help
  15. The sexual fantasis i had about my sister in law won't leave,the guilt I had them I mean. Ithe was eight years ago and has been troublin me for 4 months. The one that haunts me is I fantasted that my sil said she couldn't have kids.In the fantasy I said I could and then fantasised we had sex ,n the fantasy I imagined my partner was upstairs. It's still tearing me apart,I can't understand why I had this fantasy as it was so long ago but it disgusts me every second of every day,I can't understand why I would imagine that story line.it goes against every loyal and decent person I am. I've come away from this sight and have been trying hard not to rumine or do cumpolsions. Don't know what else to do
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