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Chels

Bulletin Board User
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    388
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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    United Kingdom

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  1. @dimmerswitch hi thank you for your reply, no your totally right. I don’t even have any ifs or buts because I know it’s what I need to do if I want to move forward and unstick myself from this habit! It is so difficult and seems like a simple enough task but it’s hard! I have to be strong and keep implementing this and continue to put this in place. Thanks again everyone! Much appreciated
  2. @cashewnutsandraisins hi and thank you, no you have helped and I appreciate your reply to me! I’m exactly the same I sort of tell him thoughts that pop into my mind and it’s not easy for me to say these out loud but he can’t understand why I can’t keep them to myself as he says it’s hurting him and I can understand it as id be the same but I feel so much guilt that I just feel myself coming out with things seeking reassurance. Those that don’t have OCD can’t get their heads around why it’s so hard for us to keep things to ourselves and not worry. It’s something that my current boyfriend really struggles to understand. It sounds like such a simple task ‘just keep it to yourself’ but it’s so difficult. Our head is such a scary place at times! I hope one day I can learn to control this. I am getting better as I get older but it does get hard xx
  3. @Doubt_It hi and thanks so much for your reply. I was the same at a young age I confessed everything and I didn’t realise up until I was 19 that it was OCD I always thought I was just weird! But it all makes sense now. I just really struggled with confessing it’s such a Huge thing for me and I have always always sought reassurance throughout life so it’s getting out of that ! Thank you I’m going to try my hardest like I say I have no choice if I want to keep my boyfriend, I understand it must be terribly hard for him to hear the things I come out with. He can’t understand why I feel the need to tell him he thinks it should just be easy to keep it to myself because he can no problem but I can’t fully get him to understand how I feel inside x
  4. @PolarBear it’s a lot easier said that done but it HAS to be done I don’t really have an option. My OCD has caused so many problem in previous relationships I need to change something otherwise I’m never going to be happy. Thank you I will try and am trying my hardest but it’s so difficult I think I will try your advice of leaving it for an hour and seeing if it still seems like such a big problem! Thank you
  5. I feel so guilty for my thoughts because I feel like I’m doing something wrong and I literally CAN NOT stop confessing! I feel myself slyly getting it in to the conversation without actually saying it! And I know exactly what I’m doing I literally can’t help myself it’s driving me insane! If I touch my genitals (not in a sexual way) just in general if I’m lying in bed or something, if I’ve scrolled past an image on social media of a guy it will stick in my head and I’ll convince myself I am doing it over that image! And I can’t not confess. I literally feel so sick of myself at the moment I just want to STOP!! It’s so much easier said than done I tell you! It’s difficult! My boyfriend can’t understand why I find it so hard not to! But to me it’s the most difficult thing ever! 😫. Please someone point me in the right direction of making me stop before I drive my boyfriend away forever 😪
  6. @PolarBear that’s exactly what I need to do, and I know this having suffered with the same thing for so many years. I’m a lot better than I used to be but sometimes need a kick up the backside and to be told! I don’t want to go down the same road as before as that was a very dark time in my life and I struggled to get out of it! I know what I need to do but sometimes it’s hard to stick at it when the OCD is so so strong! im going to keep at it and try my best to fight it and just stop confessing. Thank you polar bear for your great advice as always! Thank you @OxCD that’s the hard part! Hopefully I can get back into putting this into practice and not letting the OCD win! Today is a new week and a new day!
  7. My partner brought up my sexual thoughts during a drunken argument and it’s made me so upset. He brought it up mentioning the in depth details about my thoughts that I have confessed to him, that have clearly hurt him but I don’t think he realises this is a mental illness and I am so terribly embarrassed of the thoughts 😪. this has really upset me, has anyone else experienced this?
  8. So my OCD seems to latch onto previous partners or previous sexual encounters. It really eats me up as I get explicit images of past sexual encounters which I DO NOT WANT. I have a boyfriend who I love dearly and he’s a bit sick of my confessing now. I seem to have to tell him about my past constantly and he hates it, sometimes during sex pat partners will pop into my head now I know what to do and ignore them but because I’m not well atm with other things I feel it is harder. It’s even harder when I know his friends are friends with someone I have slept with and Iv told him but he doesn’t want to know but I still feel the urge to tell him who it is I don’t know why, but because I know I can’t tell him the thought is constantly there I just wish i could be normal and not cling on to weird intrusive thoughts
  9. Thank you @dimmerswitch so much ! thank you @hazydaze & @Handymuch appreciated hope everything is okay with you all too!
  10. I’m coping a lot better than I was. My OCD is focusing mainly on my relationship at the moment and it’s mainly an accumulation of thoughts of exes, comparing. And I don’t know why as I am not bothered about my exes and the ex it seems to fixate on didn’t make me happy one bit and was a narcissist but because my mind knows it annoys my current partner as I have confessed previously and he didn’t like it. My OCD is making those thoughts huge. There taking over Iv learned not to confess, well learning every day, I’m doing well I haven’t now for a month and I’m happy. But the thoughts are STILL there I’m informing them and not giving them attention but it’s getting a bit annoying now cause I think what if they NEVER go away and still there on my wedding day and everything
  11. @dksea hi and thank you for your response.. I am still struggling. I love my partner regardless of all these thoughts I still want to spend time with him and we have a laugh but the sexual urge just isn’t there at all and I worry it won’t come back. As I say I do enjoy it when it does happen but it’s just worry so much. He feels I push him away because he’s so full on and loving but sometimes I just don’t want to be smothered in kisses and I think that’s normal, I’m used to being on my own and it’s different, I just want to feel that sexual feeling again but it doesn’t seem to be there!
  12. @Lost in Thought sorry to hear you are suffering also, it’s awful and so scary not being totally in control or understanding your own thoughts. Sending love to you x
  13. Thank you @Doubt_It appreciate your response it’s such a difficult time for me at the moment. It’s sort of good to hear others are going through a similar thing, and that I’m not on my own. Sort of makes me feel normal, so thank you! Sending love to you
  14. Thank you so much @Gerard. I appreciate you taking your time to reply. I am not getting CBT at the moment but have had it previously on two occasions. It did have but seem to relapse when in new relationships or in a relationship at all.
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