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Everything posted by Chelsie

  1. Had a really rubbish couple of weeks with contamination OCD. Been staying with family over Christmas and feeling the benefit of extra company as a bit of a distraction. However, this morning has put me straight back to square one. Gave my mum and stepdad a lift to hospital today as stepdad had to go in as a day case. Waited in car for my mum but as there was a delay, she suggested having a coffee in coffee bar by a and e. In an attempt to act like a normal person, I met her there. Not too bad until a man walked in and sat at table next to us with arm in sling and blood all down his trousers. He must have come in through the same door as me and I feel he may have blood on the bottom of his shoes that would have transferred to the floor and to my shoes (and to the shoes of my mum and stepdad).
  2. Haven't thrown bag but not used things in it either - it has my makeup in so I am scary to look at
  3. Thanks - hard to hear but what I needed to be told
  4. Any advice? Sorry to sound pathetic
  5. Thanks taurean - my OCD brain recognises I am exaggerating the risk but still there is a risk there and so not to act and to put myself and those I love in danger feels wrong. Laying in bed still and planning how I can throw away carrier bag and its contents without contaminating anything else.
  6. Had a good day yesterday. Staying with family and coped with many times when things were placed on the floor and my contamination OCD went mad. Woken up this morning and anxiety is bad. Laying in bed with feet sweating and heart pounding. Feel I have brought contamination into my mum's house from my shoes and a carrier bag that I contaminated by an incident at a supermarket last week. Don't know how to get through today.
  7. Trying this as my mantra this morning but really struggling. Staying with family for a couple of nights at Xmas - good as they won't stand for any of my washing compulsions but bad as I will have to keep everything inside. Wondering how I'll cope and feeling anxious. Any advice.
  8. Great advice - just need to be able to follow it!
  9. Thanks polar bear - I find it so difficult to differentiate between what is a real legitimate worry and what is OCD. I find myself constantly asking myself what a normal person would do in a situation.
  10. Thanks so much for the reply, tillyray. The problem is that I checked my hand after I wiped it but then noticed another smear 10-15 mins later. It's what I might have touched in that 10-15 mins that worries me.
  11. Sorry that this is a bit yucky but I'm really struggling and need someone to talk to. Can't discuss with family as I feel they're already very frustrated with my OCD worries, which centre around touching contaminated blood. My problem is that I can't tell the difference between real concerns and OCD induced panic. On Monday, I had to pop to supermarket after work. As I was driving along, I felt that my period had started unexpectedly. Parked at supermarket and touched my trousers to see if I had leaked any blood - saw blood on my fingers which I wiped off. As I was wearing dark trousers, I decided to pop into shop anyway as I really needed s couple of things and obviously some sanitary towels too. As I walked into the shop I looked at my fingers again. i wandered around the shop for a few mins and put a few bits in a trolley. Looked at my hands and saw that there was s smear of blood on one of the fingers of the hand I had checked earlier. Assumed I had missed it earlier and licked it off (sorry - that's the yucky bit!). Then sudden panic set in - what if it wasn't my blood but I had picked up someone else's blood whilst choosing shopping. I abandoned my shopping trolley and went and bought a pack of antibacterial wipes. Of course this involved opening my purse to take out debit card. Outside shop, wiped my hands, car keys, debit card and purse. Purse was full of receipts etc so there was a limit to how much I could decontaminate them. Felt better so took another trolley and did shopping again. Brought shopping inside house. Now worried that everything is now contaminated. Have wiped surfaces etc with antibacterial wipes. Clothes etc I have washed at 60 degrees in washing machine but daren't take out if the machine yet as don't know if washing machine is effective in cleaning blood contamination. Unfortunately they are in the machine with other clothes too. i'm in such a state - what can I do?
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