Sorry that this is a bit yucky but I'm really struggling and need someone to talk to. Can't discuss with family as I feel they're already very frustrated with my OCD worries, which centre around touching contaminated blood.
My problem is that I can't tell the difference between real concerns and OCD induced panic.
On Monday, I had to pop to supermarket after work. As I was driving along, I felt that my period had started unexpectedly. Parked at supermarket and touched my trousers to see if I had leaked any blood - saw blood on my fingers which I wiped off. As I was wearing dark trousers, I decided to pop into shop anyway as I really needed s couple of things and obviously some sanitary towels too. As I walked into the shop I looked at my fingers again.
i wandered around the shop for a few mins and put a few bits in a trolley. Looked at my hands and saw that there was s smear of blood on one of the fingers of the hand I had checked earlier. Assumed I had missed it earlier and licked it off (sorry - that's the yucky bit!). Then sudden panic set in - what if it wasn't my blood but I had picked up someone else's blood whilst choosing shopping.
I abandoned my shopping trolley and went and bought a pack of antibacterial wipes. Of course this involved opening my purse to take out debit card. Outside shop, wiped my hands, car keys, debit card and purse. Purse was full of receipts etc so there was a limit to how much I could decontaminate them. Felt better so took another trolley and did shopping again.
Brought shopping inside house. Now worried that everything is now contaminated. Have wiped surfaces etc with antibacterial wipes. Clothes etc I have washed at 60 degrees in washing machine but daren't take out if the machine yet as don't know if washing machine is effective in cleaning blood contamination. Unfortunately they are in the machine with other clothes too.
i'm in such a state - what can I do?