Overcoming driving anxiety

[Raffles]

Has anyone here got over obsessions related to driving? I'm hoping some of you may be able to help me re-frame the things I'm going through at the moment.

I stopped driving in 2013 after getting a speeding fine (I wasn't paying attention, worrying about money, ironically!) because my OCD and depression were ramping up and I couldn't face it. I also didn't need to drive that much because I was going back to University without a car. When I had to take a year out of University because my OCD interfered, I would catch lifts with family and took the train to therapy.

This time last year I saved up and took some re-fresher driving lessons to try and re-build my confidence. Doing this in itself was a pretty big step, and the fact I can now go out and drive is a major achievement.

However, I'm still experiencing a lot of anxiety and panic about driving. I feel apprehensive about going to areas I'm not familiar with, or have got stressed in before. My hands get sweaty on dual carriage ways. I'm hyper-aware of speed limits and check a lot. I get a major smack of anxiety when I think other drivers might be getting annoyed at me, and I flounder if I have to overtake in multiple carriage ways. I don't think it's quite got to the point where I'm obsessing about it - I occasionally get intrusive images of being in an accident, or think "What if I didn't notice something and caused an accident?" but am largely able to recognise these thoughts for what they are. I tell myself: "Just because you feel anxious, doesn't mean you're unsafe."

Today, I was doing a practice run (something I was already anxious about) and thought I saw a flash and checked the speed and think I was over. Of course I know rationally that if I was, and get a fine, it's not the end of the world -- but am struggling to resist being tugged into rumination trying to remember if/how far I was over the limit. Picturing the dial. Trying to remember where I was on the road. Knowing that the more I think about it the less certain I will be. Checking camera locations. Debating with myself if this is a compulsion or general anxiety. Etc, etc... 

I imagine the only way to get through this is to keep going. Keep getting in the car. Even if I get a fine and feel like it would be easier and less stressful just to give in. But the stress and anxiety is, well, you all know what that's like!

So does anyone have any ideas/suggestions for things I might try to manage this better while I keep trying?

The one benefit is recognising the acute anxiety for what it is, and how it highlights my usual OCD themes are pretty well-managed at the moment. 

[abcd2013]

Hi Raffles,

I went through a similar thing prior to getting diagnosed with Anxiety/OCD. I somehow developed a fear of driving out of the blue. I was constantly thinking that I had hit an animal or a person, therefore used to retrace my routes just to make sure (even though I knew I hadn’t my brain told me I did) I didn’t drive for 6 months because it got so bad. However, I did manage to get over the fear of driving! I did swap my car over to an automatic so I wasn’t worrying as much. It sounds silly, but hill starts used to make me anxious and I used to get frustrated and flustered, but having the automatic made such a difference. I felt so much more confident.

I have myself have had a couple of speeding fines (not my finest hours) but most people have (also not good) so it does make you extra aware of speed limits. However, use that to your advantage, It has made you more aware of the limits but also your surroundings. You should feel very proud of yourself that you are getting out into your car and still continuing to drive!

A lot of people aren’t confident driving in areas they do not know, even myself sometimes! I just get in my car and try not to think about things too much. If I go the wrong way, I go the wrong way. 

Have you got somebody that could maybe sit in your car with you and just have a drive around with you? 

I fully recovered from my driving fear so it’s more than possible!

Edited March 10, 2018 by abcd2013

[Raffles]

Hi! Thank you for your response. It's a relief to hear it is possible and that it does change!

I have had the intrusive - "What was that bump? Did I just hit someone?" - thoughts but they haven't developed, thank goodness! What you said about speeding - not good, but good for calling you to being more aware - rings true. One of my sisters and I share an automatic between us, and it's just one less thing to think about? Which helps heaps. I never actually found gear changes difficult, but freeing up that mental space helps. 

The reason I'm particularly agitated about this upcoming trip is I WAS going to have to do it alone, in a town with a dual carriageway section to get to it. I didn't know, but thankfully a friend is now tagging along which should help. I'm reasonably comfortable on my own with roads I know locally now, and it's getting easier in nearby towns.

The anxiety is a little less today, and the intrusive thoughts/temptation to (fruitlessly) interrogate my memory are occurring, but it's more of an annoyance I know I have to ride out. 

[abcd2013]

That’s ok, it does help to know that you aren’t alone. Well done to you for dismissing those thoughts, for me I made such a big deal and then all of a sudden they just disappeared. Did take me around 6 months though! 

Yes! Automatics are just easier lol! I wasn’t bothered about the gear changes either, but I found it was just one less thing to worry about.  

Is there anything particular about a dual carriageway that upsets you? 

Good job though, sounds like you are doing all the right things. You’ll be surprised how quickly it fades. It does take time, but you’ll get there ?

[Dahlia]

Hi Raffles

i too have had driving anxiety and overcame it, it took a while and I avoided driving for a while or only with friends and family ,I would re trace my journey checking everything is ok just like abcd said . Now I am much more confident and only have an occasional blip which passes quickly I try not to retrace journeys or keep checking if there are speed cameras.

Keep trying.