Donut

So how do you decide which doubts are the ocd ones and which are real doubts?

I put so much analysing into it all that I'm afraid I have that effect on people :original:. It hurts my head too just trying to think about it! Both! If I passed dog poo then I'd certainly get an image or thought in my mind that I had actually touched it and then I would have doubts as to whether it was just a thought or whether it was real. Other times I could just have a random image or thought in my mind about touching dog poo and I'd worry again that it was real. Often I don't even have the thought or image - I just go straight to the doubt of "Perhaps I touched dog poo" and then I'll worry that it was real. Like I said in my earlier posting it's semen that's the main cause for concern though I have worried about poo in the past and I do still have problems with it! If only we didn't produce such products life would be so much cleaner :original: You're not being thick - I tend to over-confuse things and tie myself and others up in knots!

Thanks for the input anonomous and theobsessiveone :original:

Hi all, Sorry to start another thread but this is something that I'm still unsure of. My question is: "Do OCD sufferers worry that their thoughts themselves are somehow harmful or do they worry that the thoughts are real?" I personally don't think that thoughts are in any way harmful themselves but I do worry that they are real but I'd like to know what others think. This is a real stumbling block for me.

I know that I've got a problem and that it's ocd. The stumbling block is being able to sort the ocd doubts from the real ones! I hear of folk saying things like, "I had a thought about touching dog poo and now I worry that I'm contaminated". If I knew I had just had a thought then it wouldn't bother me because I know that a thought doesn't lead to contamination. The trouble is that I doubt whether it was just a thought and become convinced that it was real instead. I don't know whether that is what is happening for all ocd sufferers or not.

Hi MrsF, I'm sorry to hear that you too suffered from contamination issues though I'm glad that you've managed to get it under control. Thanks for the suggestion of the book - I'll need to look into it! When you were suffering did you know that it was just thoughts or were you doubting about whether it was reality too?

I can't really remember what all has been discussed with psychologists. It was at least three years ago since I last saw one. I remember her going on about letting the thoughts be in your mind rather than trying to force them out so that you would get used to them rather than getting anxious. It made sense, but only if you could recognise it as a thought in the first place. I couldn't. As soon as I had the thought I would get the doubt that it was actually real. If I knew it was definitely a thought then I wouldn't be doubting it or worrying about it as I know that thoughts aren't reality! I could never seem to convey this simple dilemma that I was facing which is what sometimes makes me question whether I suffer from OCD or perhaps it's actually psychosis as I can't seem to distinguish between thought and reality. That's a good question though, do people with ocd have doubts over what is just a thought and what is reality or are they sure that it's just thoughts? ERP has probably been discussed in session but I've rarely had any practical help with it. The NHS just doesn't appear to do it anymore. When I was a child I suffered from a phobia of going in cars (and any road transport) but with the help of a psychologist I overcame that fear. The thing was that I wasn't left to do it alone, she was with me while I was doing the exposure. We went on a very short bus ride together and a longer taxi ride together - all the hard parts were done together. My psychiatrist has told me that, although it's ludicrous, the NHS just doesn't offer that type of help anymore in Scotland - not as far as he knows anyway. He's supposed to be looking into the Springfield clinic (I think that's what it's called) but I'm sure you have to persuade your local council to foot the bill and I don't see that happening somehow. Besides, I really need help in my home environment not hundreds of miles away in some clinic. It's so short-sighted not to offer this type of support. Perhaps I'll look at going private again. I can't really afford it as I'm only working a very small number of hours part-time and I'm not on benefits or anything but I certainly couldn't be bothered waiting another year or so on some waiting list only to get nowhere again. I really need to defeat this now. I've told my psychiatrists that I'm heading for potential meltdown and they don't seem to see the urgency. I'm totally dependent on my mum for my survival and if anything were to happen to her I know that it would spell the end for me. I just couldn't cope with the grief, the ocd, daily life and the guilt that I would endure for ruining the last years of her life. My mum's 70 this April and I need this illness well and truly defeated as soon as possible, before it's too late. Between me and my dad, who's an alcoholic and does nothing to help around the house and does nothing but moan about everything, we're driving my mum demented and there's only so much she can take. I'm just sick of waiting so long for everything. Months between psychiatrist appointments, months between changes to my meds etc. I've suffered from this my whole adult life (about 20 years now) and I want an end to the ocd now. I once had a promising career and life ahead of me but now it's just all ocd

Damn ocd makes you worry about everything!

Hmmm, I've just re-read my original message and I've started worrying that people might get the wrong impression. When I say I worry about coming into contact with strangers semen I mean that I worry that I'll handle a used condom that I find in the street, for example. I'm not inviting random stranger blokes up to the house!

Yes, I can understand why you would worry about it. Not that I'm saying you should be worrying about it!

For example, I'll picture myself holding a used condom and then smearing it's contents onto a towel or I'll worry that something I see is a condom and that I might have handled it. Because I don't know whether it's reality or just in my head, I always err on the side of caution and go and wash. But new worries just keep on arising. Even as I'm putting soap on my hands to wash them I start to worry that, because it's white, I fear that I've actually put semen on my hands instead of soap. I have to get my mum to watch me wash my hands. In about 4 years I don't think I've had a single moment where I felt clean. It just feels so horrible to be unclean all the time. My whole life revolves around this at the moment and all I want is to be able to do the simple things that everyone takes for granted.

I'm sorry to hear that you suffer from contamination issues too Louise - it's a right nightmare. I've seen many psychologists, psychiatrists and psychotherapists (both NHS and private) over the years and it's never been of any help. I just can't ignore the doubts. It's not so much that I worry about other folk contaminating things, it's more that I worry that I will handle semen and then that I'll go on to contaminate things with it.

Hi all, Sorry to be seeking more advice but I really need help. My biggest problem at the moment is worrying about contamination. It's semen that's my big fear. I imagine coming into contact with it (my own and strangers) and then I worry that I'm going around contaminating everything I touch. I imagine getting it on towels, food, possessions etc etc. It's more or less constantly on my mind. Within seconds of washing my hands I become convinced I've handled either my own or someone else's semen. I used to think that it was Aids I was worrying about but I'm not sure that it is. I just find the substance disgusting and I can't stand feeling that things might be contaminated with it. It's really taking over my life. I can't do simple tasks such as cooking a meal, doing the dishes, handling my possessions etc. as every thing I touch becomes contaminated and needs to be cleaned. In case you're wondering, that includes cleaning my laptop. I've been fairly stable (albeit critical!) for a few years but I really need to find a way to actually beat this dreadful illness. I only see a psychiatrist about 20 minutes every 3 months and there's no longer any suggestion of more CBT (it was a waste of time anyway) so it looks like I'm on my own. I just can't seem to find a way to decide whether the contamination is real or just in my head so I can't say "that's just a thought so it's ocd that's causing me to worry" as I don't know that it's just a thought in the first place! Am I making any sense? Can anyone advise me as to what to do? Thanks, Donut

So Miranda, you think that every doubt I have about contamination I should ignore? When I have a doubt, I become almost 100% certain that I'm contaminated so it's extremely hard to justify ignoring it when I feel so sure.

Thanks for replying. I've had plenty of psychological treatment but I still don't know how to ignore something when I don't know whether it is just a thought or not. That's my problem - I have doubts and I don't know which doubts are real and which are ocd!