Not entirely sure if this is OCD but this is my life right now...
I have very frequent thoughts relating to my girlfriends sexual history, I can't bare the fact that she has had a couple of one night stands and all day everyday negative thoughts and images are on my mind and I fear it will eventually break us up. As to why I have the thoughts, I've been told its because of my childhood traumas, my dad died when I was young, mother diagnosed with breast cancer when I was in my teens and given 6 months to live(nearly 6 years later she is still going strong). I feel that because of my lack of sexual partners(due to potential physical erectile problems that I have had) is also a contributing factor. I am currently having weekly EMDR sessions but haven't had any improvements as of yet. My therapist says I'm not a very straight forward case and believes I may have buried a lot of emotion relating to what happened to my parents. I was depressed/lonely before I met my girlfriend and she is all I ever wanted, I should be really happy right now, but I'm just not. This issue has really taken over my life and I'm just pretty much always in a bad mood and wanting to cry all the time. I'm 21 and we've been together just over 6 months, I have been having the thoughts for around 3-4 months. If anyone has been through anything like this before or if anyone can just offer some advice I would appreciate it greatly - Thankyou.
About the thoughts -
Really they are just about my girlfriend. They are bad and unwanted thoughts, generally just about how I wish I could change the number of people she had slept with before we met, they are obsessive and jealous and just make me feel awful throughout the day. I get images of previous partners of hers having sex with her, obsessively thinking over what may or may not have happened between them and breaks my heart to think about but they are so intrusive I can't get them out of my head from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep again.
They just make me think so much less of her but it shouldn't. We adore each other and aside from this we have an awesome relationship but this is coming between us, it almost feels like its stopped me loving her if that makes sense. I don't really agree with the concept of one night stands and to think of my girlfriend has had some really just breaks my heart. It just isn't her - That's what I find hardest to accept.
Has anyone had experience with EMDR?