The_Eye

Don't worry, I appreciated your feedback have a good day !

Don't worry, I'm not getting this wrong. My psychiatrist said I have OCD and Cyclothymia, I didn't come up with it. When I had OCD at its fullest, I had ruminating thoughts running in my head day and night, and to be specific my doc said 'you have OCD' when I mentioned him that, on my job, I would have a strong desire to clean every tool I find and that I always need to have PERFECT hair and often check in the mirror. Otoh, besides the music problem, I would classify the compulsion to search the internet as OCD, don't you think ? BTW, I think I have explained myself better on this other board, if you want to read more. http://ocpd.freeforums.org/obsessive-web-surfing-t6248.html

Thanks for your insight ! Oddly, I have written 4-5 short stories without any problems in the past, just for fun, and because I wasn't expecting anything out of them, I could have fun writing, and no pressure at all. Maybe you are right, I must expose myself again to the creation , and find the fun it doing it as it was in the beginning. Let's see what happens.

Hi snowbear, thanks for your kind answer I'm aware that my post wasn't very specific, I was hoping that someone could relate to it and maybe give me some external opinion. The sarcasm you mentioned was actually frustration ! You are right, I actually exposed 2 'symptoms' in 1, the Web-surfing and the Music-related 'Intrusive Thoughts'. I will try to explain better : 1) Yes, I check the internet for 'methods to write music'. If I stop and think about it, this makes no sense, since I already have the tools to write music in my head (I have studied music for 15 years). So, I have tried to 'rationalize' the creative process so that I can control inspiration at my pleasure and, especially, to craft the PERFECT COMPOSITION. The result is that I procrastinate the ACT OF WRITING MUSIC, so I will not take risks for it. Bear in mind that I have no problems taking chances in others area of my life ! When I was a teenager (I'm 30 now) I had a narcissistic music teacher that wanted me to be 'the best' and he probably made a mess. 2) I check the mail because I'm looking for a better job than my actual one (which I despise), and there is a small percentage of possibility that I get a job offer on the email. It happened ONCE. What am I asking for ? well, I just want some external feedback on my 'case' . What worked for me until now ? The best thing I did for myself, was MOVING THE PC out of my bedroom. This way, when I'm there I'm not constantly tempted to check the internet .

Hey man, yeah I feel your pain, I'm a compulsive web-browser as well

Hi everyone ! First of all let me introduce myself : my name is 'The Eye' and I am a new user . I have been diagnosed with OCD and CYCLOTHYMIA. My OCD consists of repeated intrusive thought that sabotage my actions. Everyday, I check the internet for 2 things : music-related articles (how-to compose music) and my email account (you never know, I might miss an email ! I check it 5 times a day) . I surf the internet for 2 to 5 hours a day ( more on Sundays ). I've taken Paxil for a couple of years and it improved my situation (finally could concentrate), but then I've stopped because I can't stand feeling apathetic. I also am a musician, but I struggle to write music because I hear this voice 'What are you gonna do with your music ? Who's gonna listen to it? Nobody.Stop making it'.