Df84

Thanks for the reply Gemma. Unfortunately, I have gone down the rabbit hole of what if this, what if that, and am now in a state of constant rumination and fear. I think because my friend was really drunk, I am convincing myself that I was as bad, but getting upset about whether I should leave him or not, being able to call the ambulance, speak to my wife about the situation, and then talk to the ambulance crew (they also kindly have me a lift home),makes me think that if anything, I was being pretty responsible. However, the fear is there. Thanks again

Hi everyone, I hope you are well. I have OCD and have been having therapy for the last year and a half which has been a huge help, but seem to have relapsed after a night having a few drinks. It was a nice evening until my friend had too much and he got asked to leave the pub. I apologised to everyone in there, and then tried to walk him home. He ended up falling asleep on a wall, and would not move. I was already annoyed about his behaviour, and just kept trying to get him to stand up and walk home. I ended up getting quite upset on the phone to my wife as I had no way to get him home, and couldn't just leave him there. She suggested an ambulance, so I called them and they came out. They were really lovely, and I was extremely apologetic about the situation and they ended up taking him to hospital. Since then I have been ruminating about the evening, and whether there are bits I can't remember, false memories etc, to the point where it's all I am thinking about. I am a very cautious drinker, usually having only a couple because of my OCD, and have worked really hard to get here, and now I feel like the cycle is starting again. I have started taking mirtazapine again in the hope that it will help, as well as looking over my OCD relapse plan that I worked on with my therapist. Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to see if anyone could relate. Thank you.

I think when you are insecure about something also,these feelings manifest themselves even more.I used to have a fear of HIV,and would go and get checked regularly,but would ask to get confirmation of my result in writing.Again this seems to be a reassurance thing,or needing proof otherwise your mind plays tricks on you. i think all the 'what if' scenarios and linking of possible outcomes lead you to a worst case scenario.Does that make sense? any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for the reply. Reprogramming is definitely necessary.I have a terrible tendency to catastrophise,and this again seems to be one of those occasions.You can convince yourself of things that are just not true,but have no proof to dispel them,and as time passes the facts get distorted,if that makes sense. Really appreciate the feedback

Hello all, i know this sounds a bit strange,but I have always had elements of OCD in terms of checking doors are locked,checking the gas is off,worried I may have hit someone while driving and having to check,but recently it's all got a bit much. i have always had a bit of a ritual after going out for drinks of checking my underwear for any marks which may indicate sexual arousal that I don't remember.I know how strange that sounds but it's a reassurance thing I guess. Well recently I have been thinking what if I didn't wear those,and I actually wore others that have marks in and I did something? i went out the other weekend and had a bit too much to drink,and came home with a mate of mine. i usually change my boxers before bed so I can check the ones I wore the night before the next day,but I ended up sleeping in the same boxers that I wore out.When I awoke,I checked and all was fine. i wore some boxers the next day that I ended up sleeping in and in the morning I noticed a number of marks in them as I had enjoyed some alone time so to speak (sorry) anyway,now I am telling myself maybe those are the boxers I wore out on my drunken evening,and I'm desperately trying to prove that I didn't,but I can't.my mind is distorting it all and i convince myself I have done something. im sorry for all of this detail thank you