Pikachu

17 minutes ago, Garfield said:

I'd be surprised if they didn't as they are lead by prof David Veale who has been mentioned on this forum.

However you'd need to contact them to ask as I'm not having ERP.

Thank you! I’ll have a look

Another thing I’m encountering in general (not in response to what you sent me Garfield) is some of these private clinics also offer or include techniques taken from practices like, say, Neuro Linguistic Programming. I know enough about therapeutic practices and psychology to just guess, based on name alone, that that was not going to be an evidence-based approach but would almost certainly be pseudoscientific. Looked it up, absolutely correct lmao.

I could also tell because this website said this technique could ‘remove fear before ERP’. Now, my impression is that anyone trying to tell you they can remove fear from an ERP session before it starts is selling you bad advice. I’d never dream of giving my money to someone offering a non-evidence based practice. Not everyone here will agree with me on this, fine, but I’m not spiritual nor inclined to any sort of faith based beliefs other than the ones OCD already tries to get me entangled in lol.

It’s just frustrating because something will sound good and then they’ll throw something like that out there. It really makes me distrust some of these private clinics.

26 minutes ago, Garfield said:

overcomingocd.co.uk

Have BABCP accredited therapists for CBT.  They have different therapists with slightly different focuses.

They are based in London for out of London you can meet online.

They charge £100 - £140 per 50 minute session depending on the therapist.  You can have sessions fortnightly which helps with cost / cash flow.

The therapist I have for CBT from there knows her stuff and also specialises in depression.  So I'd recommend.  Also was taken in under a month.

Do they offer ERP? If they don’t I’m not really interested, I can see they talk about CBT on their website.

59 minutes ago, Matt said:

Have you thought about going through the nhs? The reason I ask is that I did, funnily enough I also live in Hertfordshire. Initially I went to a place locally, I was referred by my gp. It wasn’t a good experience. Then, with help from the admin here, I found out about a thing called “right to choose”, basically you can find other areas that have good centres for ocd treatment, and if they do the “right to choose” scheme, you can get referred by your gp. I was told about a place called cadat in south London that specialises in ocd erp treatment, I got referred, and am now on the waiting list to receive treatment, my experience with them so far has been positive, the initial assessment was very thorough, and the therapist really knew her stuff, I’m pretty hopeful 

I have and am also waiting for an online meeting after referring myself using single point of access. But my issue is I have a lot on, and my particular theme right now is relatively new and strong, and I don’t want to wait for it to get worse by having to wait months and months for the NHS.

I hope to get treatment within NHS for my OCD overall whenever they can have me, but as for right now I really need to get over this particular obsession as it’s causing huge disruption to my everyday life. I think I’d only need a few sessions to start feeling confident implementing the ERP teachings on my own.

I live around Hertfordshire/Buckinghamshire area. My talking therapist (she helps me with different things as she’s not trained in CBT or ERP) recommended someone but he turned out to be really expensive (£300 for a session… daylight robbery…). She’s looking around for other options, but I wondered if any of you have any recommendations.

Maybe a long shot, but I thought I’d try. I’m most interested in ERP at the moment, but I also know most who offer that are also trained in CBT, which is good too.

Thank you for any help!

Does anyone have tips on being less angry/irritable… I get so keyed up with anxiety, and irritation that it feels like my parents just don’t understand why the stuff they say to me will have no impact.

I won’t take toast out of the toaster without washing my hands first etc, and whatever else I do. They’re saying that’s ridiculous, or I don’t have to do that, which, though obviously true, feels very patronising. It’s like they think my problem is that I don’t understand the irrationality of my compulsions, but I obviously do, it’s just that I simply won’t eat the thing if I have to touch it without washing first, so it makes no difference what they tell me.

I’ll stop doing some of these things when I get my ERP sessions booked, but my parents aren’t trained professionals and I won’t cut down compulsions for them, I’m only able to do so bit by bit on my own terms. But it feels like they don’t understand at all how this illness works, it’s like they think I’m delusional or something. Insulting me (there were insults initially before I explained how this hurt me and made me not want to talk to them about anything), or else patronising me by telling me things I already know, won’t have any effect. I’m so dismayed by everything and honestly borderline dissociative or idk so heightened by stress that I feel like I’m retreating far into myself/feel disconnected from my surroundings that I don’t know how to calm myself and not respond with anger.

 It’s so important I don’t get too much worse or have a breakdown because I need to work hard for my MA each day. If I get too anxious or depressed I can’t work, which = more stress, which makes my OCD that much worse. I just need to be left alone to do my thing until I can go to my therapy sessions.

This is so positive to read. I’m also struggling with contamination but I’m energised by how well you’re doing

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with contamination fears. As you’ve seen so am I, though of a different kind. I promise you though that you’ll feel better if you force something to give; I have to hold myself back from gaining compulsions that altogether stop me eating or going outside, because I know those are things that will keep me above water in other ways.

Adding both of those back in entirely might be difficult, like going outside freely, but you could try to attempt easing one of the boundaries you’ve placed around yourself. I would really try to be able to eat your meals and get enough food. Like lack of sleep, not eating enough makes our brain more one-track and anxious.

19 hours ago, comfortscorned said:

I know just what you mean about not being able to tell what's a real problem any more. It happens to me all the time with things I feel are contaminated.

Yeah, this is the difficult part. I feel like I do still know when something’s irrational by my old standard of behaviour, but sometimes it’s difficult to know whether you were just being too lax to begin with. That said, most people don’t worry about these things and get by just fine, so it’s probably more reassuring to compare yourself to somebody else, rather than a past standard of your behaviour.

19 hours ago, snowbear said:

That's the way most people look at paper cuts / minor cuts.

I've had tons of paper cuts and it would never occur to me to wash it, let alone put a plaster on it! If it hurt or bled a fair bit I might suck it for a moment after getting the cut, but then I'd leave it to heal naturally. The only exception to that would be if my hands were dirty and I needed to wash my hands to get the dirt off in a 'normal' way.

 

Hello Snowbear,

I managed to calm myself down, it took a few hours, but I’m able to use the hand more normally now, though I’ve still replaced the plaster with a fresh one today. I haven’t been as worried about it and have been getting on as usual.

I’m going to try and organise my ERP sessions today so I can hopefully get this therapy quickly for the fixation on my dog.

Just now, snowbear said:

Stop right there! No need for ifs ands or buts of any kind. It healed. End of story.  

Sorry, I think I’ve explained badly… a different small cut I had last week has healed normally, but I got a new cut today and feel I didn’t necessarily take the right precautions, or else not quickly enough, eg I used cool water and soap not warm water and soap (I was at my therapist’s, I didn’t want to run the water for too long or look like I was being wasteful.

But I’m telling myself a small cut last week didn’t get badly infected, so maybe that’s the normal reality, and I don’t need to worry about this other small cut because hopefully it’ll heal in the same way. I’m worried because I don’t feel I can understand anymore when a small cut is truly dangerous / a risk based on what I read online )):

Okay I’m panicked again. Got a tiny cut on the way to therapy so when I arrived I asked if I could clean it with soap and water. The water never got hot but I did wash it with soap.

I then stupidly read something online when searching for if cold water was good enough (now I’m home and have washed it with warm/hot water, soap, and put a plaster on it) that said her sister got a bad infection from a paper cut and had to have surgery when it got infected…

I know the odds are so small, I had a cut in my hand last week and didn’t even cover it with a plaster (it healed fine) but I’m now worried I either didn’t 

1) rinse it for long enough with water

2) I didn’t use hot immediately her water only got like not cold but not really warm

3) that even though I used soap bc I didn’t use hot water or get a plaster immediately it’s all in vain and won’t be properly clean

I feel like I’m probably being ridiculous, that woman online must have just been really really unlucky to get so badly infected from a tiny cut, but I’m freaking out that I’ve been too lax and it’s now going to become awful

I’ve decided I need to ERP my way out of this one. I’m doing less (physical) compulsions but mostly bc I’ve swapped them for some mental ones, but I’m washing less and happy about that.

I’ve been recommended a specialist for this who can do CBT and ERP. I’m going to take it very seriously so I can get back to living normally, and I hope to take my rumination rituals seriously too because that will help me improve in other areas eg my magical thinking OCD that I’ve had for around three years now.

I truly believe I can do this, even though I anticipate that it will be rough.

I watched someone on youtube doing ERP for OCD, I think hers was also surrounding her dog, and she had to hold the dog’s lead and rub it on her skin etc. Just watching it managed to get a rise out of me, the only thing worse would be having my dog lick me and being told not to wash immediately. I’m going to ask my therapist (talking therapist atm) if she has any training in CBT or ERP because honestly that sounds quite helpful. She was told to go home and let the lead ‘contaminate’ everything she could etc. It sounds like a nightmare tbh but at least it seems like it’d work and build up to touching my dog again.

14 hours ago, comfortscorned said:

It's always up and down isn't it? I had a pretty good day today but I've just had a nasty experience trying to wash my hands in the bathroom sink which doesn't drain properly, so I'm now resisting the urge to change my towel, at least until tomorrow.

Thank you for these messages, it’s really nice to know someone else is also dealing with health obsessions and feeling the need to wash. I’m doing well today so far as well, haven’t fully got rid of them but I’ve made them go down considerably. Good luck!

4 hours ago, comfortscorned said:

That's brilliant, well done. I know how hard it is to get it under control once you're locked into a pattern of needing to wash.

The best thing for cracked skin is to put on plenty of hand cream just before going to bed, so you won't end up washing it off immediately. I find if I can keep the skin on my hands healthy I don't feel like washing so much.

You can get into a vicious cycle when you've washed out all the protective oils in your skin so they feel all sticky and nasty, which makes you feel they need washing more. That's when you get cracked knuckles. It's happened to me so many times there are little brown spots on all my bed sheets where the blood has stained them. I've never had an infection as a result, so I don't think it's particularly dangerous, but it's definitely not something you want to live with.

Taking care of your skin can be a good positive motivation to set against the fear that makes you keep washing.

Hey! I’ve taken this advice, thank you.

My day actually got somewhat worse halfway through but I’m trying hard to cut down my compulsions again and again. Several times I wanted to wash a whole limb or even take a shower and I didn’t.

17 hours ago, MsMh24 said:

Worst case scenario on a non OCD level is if the skin has been broken you might need a tetanus if not up to date, only as a total precaution (I work for the NHS). Defo not for rabies as normally dogs from other countries. Not reassurance just factual x

Thank you for the response! I’ve been able to not wash constantly today because I’m being very strict with myself so I can start to understand I’m not in any physical danger doing ordinary things I wouldn’t have thought twice about doing a few weeks ago. It’s going well so far!

I now do have a sore/cut on my foot. This is so irritating, I wasn’t scared all the time just a month ago. I wish I’d nipped this in the bud then

Just now, Simonsky said:

This a 'good' example of how performing a compulsion leads to a other OCD issue, I do this often.

It needs to stop as soon as possible.  Maybe other stressors in your life have been behind this latest onslaught?

I need to stop washing, I guess? I’ve managed to reduce washing my feet now. I’m trying to get some plasters for my cuts.

I do believe my MA is stressing me and my developing this obsession recently is a means of making me more stressed about it.

Sorry to say I’m still struggling with this. It’s got to the point where certain things feel contaminated so I can’t touch certain things. I’m worried rabies could be transmitted through incredible things, like my dog licking the floor and then my walking over the floor with my shoes, the shoes having trod later on part of my bed throw/blanket, then the idea that when in bed and in contact with it, it could give me the infection.

I’m washing my hands so much that I’m getting cuts, and then terrified these small cuts could be where I could become infected, so I’m really careful with my hands. It’s all terrible, I almost want to quit cold turkey but this seems so difficult.

I have my Masters to work on and it’s really getting in the way of me living my life right now. I just don’t know what to do… what advice could some of you give, would you try and reduce washing? Are these ideas of how I could get infected really far-fetched? Surely basically no one has ever got rabies in such a convoluted way. Or would you quit cold turkey?

I’m in UK by the way. I know it’s basically eradicated here.

 Please help )):

15 minutes ago, Yasmin12 said:

Sorry to hear this. I don’t know what to say that is helpful, but there is no rabies in dogs in uk, so you have that fact right there. Right now the thought is screaming in your head, you are in high alert, take a deep breathe and use any coping mechanisms you can to manage this moment. It will pass. Give the dog a cuddle! 

Unfortunately I’m currently avoiding the dog… I’ve opened the door for him so he can go out. I’m wondering how I’ll be able to walk him in future if he jumps up, it really freaks me out now. Maybe I’ll need to wear thicker trousers.

I haven’t managed to calm down yet unfortunately though I’ve stopped myself from hand washing loads which I do when I worry about cross-contamination. I managed to eat too despite having to touch the food with my hands )):

Hey, it’s been a few years. Still have the OCD unfortunately though I deal with it a lot better in recent years.

Unfortunately today I’ve had a setback worrying about one of my usual things again (health). I was about to take my dog out for a walk and he scratched me down the back of my (thin) trousers in excitement. It hurt quite a bit, so I checked underneath to see if the scratch had met the skin and it had, though there was no blood (I’m not sure if this counts as breaking the skin?).

You can probably see where this is going… I’m now terrified of what if my dog has rabies and I just don’t know? I think he’s been vaccinated because you have to to go back from France into UK and he’s been there with us a few times. I know it’s very rare in the UK and I checked the NHS website, they don’t even suggest going to seek medical assistance if it’s a dog (in the UK), only if it’s a bat that has bitten or scratched you. If abroad they say you should go anyway.

I’m just really scared, I washed the backs of my legs with soap and water and then hopped in the shower to do it again and again to really get the soap everywhere. I have no symptoms but it can take weeks/months/years. I know this is really really stupid, I’m not even sure if it counts as breaking skin, but he’d been licking his paw earlier so there could have been some saliva on it.

I’m home alone atm after going on holiday with my family to Taiwan and my parents are stressed about me bc of my anxieties and my neurological disorder (like, neuropathic pain). So they’re worried about me being alone. I’m just really scared I didn’t get to even walk my dog, I’ll have to open up the back door and hope he goes out to pee, I’m worried to even go down and see him in case it triggers my anxieties and I also feel so guilty to not take him out as he wasn’t trying to do anything wrong.

Everything just sucks and I’m close to tears……. What can I do to stop this

God, I actually have started silently crying. It would be so nice to feel like I had at least one family member on my side who was willing to be sensitive about this.

I just thought that I could leave the room for a bit and be on my own for a while (most of us have gone to bed) but then I realised I have actions to complete to get into this room and can't do them in the dark, and if I turned a light on I'd disturb my brother. This is horrible lol.

I've been putting off making a thread about the struggles I've been experiencing, that started to some degree around Christmas last year, but have been relatively on-and-off in their severity.

Basically, I feel the need to do certain tasks a certain way in order for bad things to not happen. Very typical OCD thinking. Of course, if I get something 'wrong' (a book not left on a table perpendicular-enough to the table edge, etc) I have to go back and do it again, and in a certain way, until I get it right ('right enough'). I would have thoughts that "I must do this / not do this / do this in x-way, or else [insert bad thing]".

For a while, I counterbalanced this with what I'd termed 'counter-thoughts'; if I put on a scarf and I had an OCD thought telling me I needed to not wear that out or else [insert bad thing], I would counter it with a thought that said I actually needed to wear the scarf or else [insert bad thing]. This helped for a while, because it would kind of stump me and I'd be unsure about which action to take, which would lead to me realising in that case I should just choose whichever action I was going to do in the first place (so, I'd wear the scarf out). It kind of neutralised it. For a while this worked well, and eventually because I'd countered so many OCD thoughts I realised I was no longer having as many of them and could continue with daily tasks undisturbed.

Then, of course, the counter-thoughts themselves became simple compulsions. I now feel the need to, fairly often, unless I get distracted, assure myself that I had to do everything I'd done so far that day in the exact way in which I did, or else [insert bad thing]. But obviously it wouldn't be long before the relief would wear off and I'd feel the need to 'update' the 'counter-thought' to encompass all the actions and thoughts I'd had since I said the last one.

I'm on a family holiday right now and some of the weird actions I'm carrying out are starting to be noticed by them. Sometimes just curiosity ("Why are you doing that?") but other times rudely, with hurtful glances and "What you're doing is really weird", etc. I don't want to suddenly bring up that I struggle with OCD because my mother in particular has been very dismissive or even hostile about this in the past, and I don't want a family holiday to turn into them feeling the need to cure or accommodate me. I would just prefer if they don't comment on me entering rooms only when standing on certain floor tiles, etc. I know this rant is besides the point but if it's not hurting anyone I wish they could just leave me to it and not have to aim hurtful remarks or looks my way as though I'm a freak.

Of course, I need a way of getting this under control. Obviously the 'bad things' I worry about my actions or lack of action leading to vary, but there are some themes (don't want to discuss them) and I feel strongly about them, obviously, or this wouldn't be so difficult! I have a Masters course coming up next month and need to get myself under control, honestly. I just feel so scared; I'll hold off on going to the toilet because I want to avoid the stress of the having to repeat the actions to get in there, or things like that. I can't even sit down in the living room or dining table area normally. It's making ordinary things seem so scary in some cases, but mostly just difficult, and now I have the added anxiety of family judgement when I do these things too.

Also, a random aside, but I'm writing this with my brother in the bed over from me and he just asked what I was doing. I kind of mumbled "just something" or something similar and he responded with probably fair but disparaging remarks about how I'm so antisocial sometimes, need to act like an adult, etc, and well now I kind of want to cry I'm just so stressed by it all (this isn't even a fair summary, I wrongly expressed annoyance at having to share what I was doing all the time with thoughts in mind that some things are private, but also that my mum had similarly got annoyed at me before for this very thing, and anyway he responded basically having none of that and saying things, iirc, about how I'm rude). No I don't want to explain I'm writing on a forum about my illness. Yes I should have probably just made something up. Ugh. It's becoming so much.

Has anyone ever experienced something similar? Probably, I guess. I'm so stressed, even beyond what I'm sharing here as there are things that would make me even more anxious to mention. Grateful for any and all replies.

On 13/08/2023 at 23:32, Handy said:

Meet my friend Google

"

Summary
In summary, what we’re saying is that ‘Pure O’ is like any other form of OCD, it will involve both obsessions and compulsions, and treatment approaches would be no different. A person doesn’t need a ‘Pure O’ specialist, ‘Pure O’ would be treated using standard traditional treatment methods, the same that are used for every other type of OCD.

It’s for this reason that OCD-UK have chosen to not use the term, and proactively highlight how misleading it can be."

https://www.ocduk.org/ocd/pure-o/

Well, yes. This is almost exactly what I said; they're all just variations of OCD. This is quite different from saying this kind of OCD is like GAD, however, though I'm sure many anxiety disorders have overlaps.