Pikachu

Thank you! I’ll have a look

Another thing I’m encountering in general (not in response to what you sent me Garfield) is some of these private clinics also offer or include techniques taken from practices like, say, Neuro Linguistic Programming. I know enough about therapeutic practices and psychology to just guess, based on name alone, that that was not going to be an evidence-based approach but would almost certainly be pseudoscientific. Looked it up, absolutely correct lmao. I could also tell because this website said this technique could ‘remove fear before ERP’. Now, my impression is that anyone trying to tell you they can remove fear from an ERP session before it starts is selling you bad advice. I’d never dream of giving my money to someone offering a non-evidence based practice. Not everyone here will agree with me on this, fine, but I’m not spiritual nor inclined to any sort of faith based beliefs other than the ones OCD already tries to get me entangled in lol. It’s just frustrating because something will sound good and then they’ll throw something like that out there. It really makes me distrust some of these private clinics.

Do they offer ERP? If they don’t I’m not really interested, I can see they talk about CBT on their website.

I have and am also waiting for an online meeting after referring myself using single point of access. But my issue is I have a lot on, and my particular theme right now is relatively new and strong, and I don’t want to wait for it to get worse by having to wait months and months for the NHS. I hope to get treatment within NHS for my OCD overall whenever they can have me, but as for right now I really need to get over this particular obsession as it’s causing huge disruption to my everyday life. I think I’d only need a few sessions to start feeling confident implementing the ERP teachings on my own.

I live around Hertfordshire/Buckinghamshire area. My talking therapist (she helps me with different things as she’s not trained in CBT or ERP) recommended someone but he turned out to be really expensive (£300 for a session… daylight robbery…). She’s looking around for other options, but I wondered if any of you have any recommendations. Maybe a long shot, but I thought I’d try. I’m most interested in ERP at the moment, but I also know most who offer that are also trained in CBT, which is good too. Thank you for any help!

Does anyone have tips on being less angry/irritable… I get so keyed up with anxiety, and irritation that it feels like my parents just don’t understand why the stuff they say to me will have no impact. I won’t take toast out of the toaster without washing my hands first etc, and whatever else I do. They’re saying that’s ridiculous, or I don’t have to do that, which, though obviously true, feels very patronising. It’s like they think my problem is that I don’t understand the irrationality of my compulsions, but I obviously do, it’s just that I simply won’t eat the thing if I have to touch it without washing first, so it makes no difference what they tell me. I’ll stop doing some of these things when I get my ERP sessions booked, but my parents aren’t trained professionals and I won’t cut down compulsions for them, I’m only able to do so bit by bit on my own terms. But it feels like they don’t understand at all how this illness works, it’s like they think I’m delusional or something. Insulting me (there were insults initially before I explained how this hurt me and made me not want to talk to them about anything), or else patronising me by telling me things I already know, won’t have any effect. I’m so dismayed by everything and honestly borderline dissociative or idk so heightened by stress that I feel like I’m retreating far into myself/feel disconnected from my surroundings that I don’t know how to calm myself and not respond with anger. It’s so important I don’t get too much worse or have a breakdown because I need to work hard for my MA each day. If I get too anxious or depressed I can’t work, which = more stress, which makes my OCD that much worse. I just need to be left alone to do my thing until I can go to my therapy sessions.

This is so positive to read. I’m also struggling with contamination but I’m energised by how well you’re doing

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with contamination fears. As you’ve seen so am I, though of a different kind. I promise you though that you’ll feel better if you force something to give; I have to hold myself back from gaining compulsions that altogether stop me eating or going outside, because I know those are things that will keep me above water in other ways. Adding both of those back in entirely might be difficult, like going outside freely, but you could try to attempt easing one of the boundaries you’ve placed around yourself. I would really try to be able to eat your meals and get enough food. Like lack of sleep, not eating enough makes our brain more one-track and anxious.

Yeah, this is the difficult part. I feel like I do still know when something’s irrational by my old standard of behaviour, but sometimes it’s difficult to know whether you were just being too lax to begin with. That said, most people don’t worry about these things and get by just fine, so it’s probably more reassuring to compare yourself to somebody else, rather than a past standard of your behaviour.

Hello Snowbear, I managed to calm myself down, it took a few hours, but I’m able to use the hand more normally now, though I’ve still replaced the plaster with a fresh one today. I haven’t been as worried about it and have been getting on as usual. I’m going to try and organise my ERP sessions today so I can hopefully get this therapy quickly for the fixation on my dog.

Sorry, I think I’ve explained badly… a different small cut I had last week has healed normally, but I got a new cut today and feel I didn’t necessarily take the right precautions, or else not quickly enough, eg I used cool water and soap not warm water and soap (I was at my therapist’s, I didn’t want to run the water for too long or look like I was being wasteful. But I’m telling myself a small cut last week didn’t get badly infected, so maybe that’s the normal reality, and I don’t need to worry about this other small cut because hopefully it’ll heal in the same way. I’m worried because I don’t feel I can understand anymore when a small cut is truly dangerous / a risk based on what I read online )):

Okay I’m panicked again. Got a tiny cut on the way to therapy so when I arrived I asked if I could clean it with soap and water. The water never got hot but I did wash it with soap. I then stupidly read something online when searching for if cold water was good enough (now I’m home and have washed it with warm/hot water, soap, and put a plaster on it) that said her sister got a bad infection from a paper cut and had to have surgery when it got infected… I know the odds are so small, I had a cut in my hand last week and didn’t even cover it with a plaster (it healed fine) but I’m now worried I either didn’t 1) rinse it for long enough with water 2) I didn’t use hot immediately her water only got like not cold but not really warm 3) that even though I used soap bc I didn’t use hot water or get a plaster immediately it’s all in vain and won’t be properly clean I feel like I’m probably being ridiculous, that woman online must have just been really really unlucky to get so badly infected from a tiny cut, but I’m freaking out that I’ve been too lax and it’s now going to become awful

I’ve decided I need to ERP my way out of this one. I’m doing less (physical) compulsions but mostly bc I’ve swapped them for some mental ones, but I’m washing less and happy about that. I’ve been recommended a specialist for this who can do CBT and ERP. I’m going to take it very seriously so I can get back to living normally, and I hope to take my rumination rituals seriously too because that will help me improve in other areas eg my magical thinking OCD that I’ve had for around three years now. I truly believe I can do this, even though I anticipate that it will be rough.

I watched someone on youtube doing ERP for OCD, I think hers was also surrounding her dog, and she had to hold the dog’s lead and rub it on her skin etc. Just watching it managed to get a rise out of me, the only thing worse would be having my dog lick me and being told not to wash immediately. I’m going to ask my therapist (talking therapist atm) if she has any training in CBT or ERP because honestly that sounds quite helpful. She was told to go home and let the lead ‘contaminate’ everything she could etc. It sounds like a nightmare tbh but at least it seems like it’d work and build up to touching my dog again.

Thank you for these messages, it’s really nice to know someone else is also dealing with health obsessions and feeling the need to wash. I’m doing well today so far as well, haven’t fully got rid of them but I’ve made them go down considerably. Good luck!