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LEW1991

Bulletin Board User
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About LEW1991

  • Birthday 17/10/1991

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Not Specified
  • Type of OCD
    Trying to find that out..

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Wigan, UK

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  1. Sorry to double post, but thought I'd just mention that the tremors and other issues that I've mentioned did seem to be more apparent after I started having to have some major operations on my eyes (around 30-36 months ago). Since the first major op, I've been through numerous others (some major, some smaller) which has been somewhat of a stressful experience every time. I also have to deal with potential high eye pressure as a result on a daily basis, so this is always in the back of my mind. Thought I'd add that in as it may be a small/large factor in all of this. Lew
  2. Hello all! This is my first post on the forum.. thanks in advance to anyone who can offer any advice or help. I'm not 100% sure how to describe exactly what I'm experiencing at the moment. Not really sure if it's OCD or anxiety, or a mixture of the 2 (or something else, even). Guess I should probably start with my somewhat of a backstory so you get the gist of what I'm trying to describe. From the start... as a kid I had a nervous/excessive blinking problem. I do have issues with my eyes, so that may have contributed to that, although my eye condition only really came on in later life, so perhaps not. Luckily I got past that as I got in to my teens (I'm now 27), so that's not affected me for years. Nothing else really to mention from my childhood - I was a relatively 'normal' kid, for want of a better word. In more recent years, I have been struggling with tremors. To the point where exercises which were once very simple and basic, such as writing for example, have become a challenge. Which isn't ideal, as I work in an office. It's also quite embarrassing. I try to make light of it when someone mentions it ("bloody hell, Lew, you're a bit shaky) and just try to move on to something else ASAP. Even stupid trivial things like playing pool, or carry drinks from a bar, tends to draw a comment about how shaky I look.. quite annoying, really, but not the end of the world. I used to play guitar in bands too, and the shakes were always a pain in the **** in the studio or at gigs.. did used to detract from my performance at times. Though I don't do much of that any more, so it's not too relevant. I've also started to notice that I can have these weird mood swings. I can literally go from being happy and joking, to being annoyed/angry/easily agitated in mere seconds. Then I can sometimes swing back the other way, or stay annoyed for the rest of the day, over pretty much nothing. Nothing even has to trigger it, it's just like a switch in my head. I like to think of myself as a fairly easy going person too, so it can be quite out-of-character for me to suddenly sink in to some weird mood when I was completely fine a minute ago. Some days I just want to completely shut myself away too, not speak to anybody or be around people at all, which again, I never used to experience. It's quite detrimental to potential relationships, 'cos I get to the point where I just don't want to speak to anyone, then I appear ignorant and, at times, completely disinterested, which isn't the case. But it's hard to explain. I know I want to get know people and speak to them, but there's something about the way I currently am which just puts a barrier up.. like I'm happy shut off in my own little world, which I'm not, 'cos it can be lonely as (insert naughty word) and I'd much rather have someone around. I did visit my GP about the tremors. They basically just said my heart rate was a tad quicker than most people's and prescribed me some beta blockers to slow the pace down slightly. These never really worked and made me feel a bit crappy when I took them, so I knocked them on the head. In more recent weeks, I've been having this weird issue with my breathing. It's like, at times, it goes from being what should be a sub-conscious thing, to something that's on my mind, and it becomes a manual thing, where I'm sort of trying to take over how I breathe because I don't trust that I'm getting enough oxygen. In more extreme cases, it's literally felt like I'm struggling to breathe, then I start panicking, which increases the heart rate, thus increasing the tremors etc.. bit of a nasty cycle. I've got more of a grasp on it recently, but at night is the worst time. Because there's literally nothing else going on, it's always on my mind, so it's hard to nod off and it's really affecting my sleep, which then affects my mood the next day. I've tried putting a bit of music on or a podcast whilst in bed to try and take my mind off it, but then I find myself listening too much to whatever's playing, which again affects my ability to get to sleep. The only thing that seems to magically cure all is alcohol (not a great solution, I know). If I'm a bit tuned in, the shakes go, the mood swings go, there's no thinking about my breathing, I can sleep normal, everything's 'fine'... but then if I drink, I feel it the next day, and everything I have mentioned above is even more exaggerated than usual the day after, so it's a catch-22 really. Basically, I don't even know what I'm describing. Just wondering if anyone can relate to what I'm saying? Anybody else have similar problems? Should I be looking in to CBT, or is there any other methods that anyone could recommend to try and counter what I'm describing? I'm writing all this fairly quickly in work, so I may have missed something out too. If I have, I'll add another post underneath. Just wanted to get this off my chest and speak to people who might be able to offer some good advice. Sorry if I've bored the life out of you with my mammoth post! Cheers, Lew
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