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CoolHandLuke

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  1. To be honest, the more I think about it, the more certain I am I would never have misjudged and I think I just panicked because of hearing about the R Kelly thing and thought - am I like him? I know I’m not though. I think I am really susceptible to the news though and the fact that stuff like that disgusts me made me all the more terrified I could be like that. I mean it truly disgusts me. Does that make sense?
  2. It’s fair. I mean I’m 99.9% sure it didn’t happen. I just can’t handle the lack of certainty.
  3. So are you saying that if you don’t think you’ve done something wrong I.e. that it is pretty likely that it wasn’t someone young because it would be so out of character then I should use that as my guidance and not think of the absolute worst? I mean even in my own mind, I’m pretty sure I could have made a reasonable judgement and wouldn’t have done anything so stupid. Is it really the OCD putting me in doubt of myself? It probably is but I’m just thinking.
  4. I would tell them to stop punishing themselves over something that likely didn't happen.
  5. So Polar Bear, you are saying that I should just live with the fact that I may have done something horrible? Surely I need to be punished. Severely. I feel like that this is what is being missed. In the case that it did happen, what then?
  6. Right now, I feel like no one cares. And, nobody cares because they think I'm a bad person. I tried to talk to my therapist and he said it was an OCD thought but I have no way of knowing if that is right. I just do know. I can't revisit back in time and relive the situation. I might be an incredibly awful awful awful person. I hate that it happened and I hate myself. I loathe myself and I can't stand feeling like this. I feel like all I can do is just get on with things and see what's what. But it's so hard.
  7. The thing about setting it aside is that if I got it wrong, that would make me a heinous human being.
  8. I have just a horrendous revisit to this situation brought on by the R Kelly stuff into the news. I know you will argue with me what he did and what I’m worrying about are two completely different things but here is the thing. I very very vaguely remember the incident and it was a while ago. But now I’m worrying, what if I patted someone on the bum who was younger than I thought they were. I mean, the thought repulses me but I can’t be sure how old they were. And there is no way I could know. And again, now, I am horrified by this thought. So terrified and disturbed. Really big feelings of self loathing fill me. Can anyone offer any advice?
  9. So I did something really stupid, I posted on Twitter my OCD story about the bum patting from 20 years ago and I’m now thinking that someone is going to report me and I’m going to end up in jail? Am I totally over exaggerating this? I have had two massive panic attacks and feel extremely suicidal. Please help.
  10. You say it’s not a big deal but I feel suicidal. I told my Mum and she said she didn’t think it was a big deal but now I feel like she will never look at me the same way again. I feel like a monster. I feel like even it happened over a decade ago that things can never go back the same way again, Polarbear. I don’t know. It just doesn’t FEEL a big deal. Please help me.
  11. The problem is was that I did it on the way home after a drink or two at work and was only slightly tipsy so I should have known better. All I thought at the time was someone did it to me once and it was funny so why not. But then I immediately regretted it. I’m sorry but I feel like the worst person in the world. I feel like I’m going to hate myself forever. Feeling like I got away with it is awful. I don’t want to feel like this. I feel like I’m evil and I deserve punishment.
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