Pranjali

Thanks a lot for sharing the link. Yes I have bought Break Free from OCD.

Is there a book just of CBT techniques? I looked up on Amazon but there were too many. I see so many posts where people say so and so CBT technique says this.. Is there a particular book or author I can look up for? I found some basics online but would appreciate some direction.. thanks

Thank you so much for breaking it down @dksea. That gave some perspective into things.

What is the difference between reassurance (which is helpful) and compulsive reassurance?

Thanks a lot @taurean for your practical advise. Yes, looking for evidence is one way yes true. Just one query - so when I am alone, I have everything in my feeling I am cheating and I am harming someone. When I am alone, all of those things start to feel true and real. I have two thoughts which follow: 1) if I did harm, shouldn't that person go and complain about me? if not, then shouldn't I ask him to complain and take an action against me? 2) if he and I did something, I should tell my husband about it. I have two questions. Are both these thoughts rational? Even if you say this is OCD and it is all a lie, but how should one proceed? I am thoroughly confused..

Thanks a lot @dksea. I will try doing these, especially the first one. But the anxiety is so soaring high that I give in and end up feeling miserable. Yes, I guess the trick is to take it slow, baby steps and small victories. Yes, my fear is being alone because I have thoughts which are so pathetically real that I can hardly distinguish and label them as only thoughts. It is like the minute I am alone, I have everything going in my head which is saying I am cheating, I am doing some harm. And 10 minutes from then when I am with someone, I feel like I harmed or I had done something with someone. It all is real! Is that how every sufferer feels here? The inability to just look at them as thoughts? I guess so, right? Or is this mental condition something else?

Thank you everyone. Yes the struggle is to not do the compulsions while I am having the thoughts, which I feel tempted to believe as something in reality. And then I am with someone and go back on that moment, my mind has already believed and sitting anxiously.

So I try my best not to carry compulsions. Biggest being rumination and confession in my case. It takes a lot of effort to leave the thought to it being only thought but okay. My thoughts feel like reality. I was trying to skip office and I am always looking for being with someone (and not alone) in the past few days. Now the thing is this - If I am alone, I start feeling I am cheating on my husband, I am harming someone (like in present tense then). After a while when I am with someone, I start feeling convinced that I did cheat, I did harm sometime back. And then I go back to avoiding being alone. This happens so often then I start confessing and ruminating. The cycle continues.. How do you deal with this? Please help. I read PB or DkSea's and every advise saying don't do compulsions, I did that..but I feel stuck again to an extent where I feel this is not OCD even! Can someone please help? I would really appreciate some practical tips/advise.

Ok. So one does not know if they are only thoughts. What is the difference between an OCD sufferer and non OCD sufferer? What I mean to ask is - 1) an intrusive thought is a random thought (not connected to anything)which is random, sudden, distressing and intrusive? OR 2) an intrusive thought is a thought/feeling which one feels after an instance? Anxiety caused by that instance? What is an intrusive thought? Is it like a random idea or an idea that follows an instance? Thankful if someone could clarify. Thank you.

But how do you know that all these are only thoughts?

@gingerbreadgirl @taurean @dksea @taurean can you also tell me if I have gotten the right understanding of the disorder? (sorry to tag, but I do not know too many people on this forum)

Ok thanks a lot @gingerbreadgirl I will reflect on this. Thanks a ton for being online right now.

Okay that is an insight in itself I must say. Because all this while I have been trying to differentiate between a thought and reality. I know I have asked this before - but then so often this feels like you are lying to yourself if you don't find out? How to approach that bit?

@PolarBear @dksea @gingerbreadgirl @taurean given your experience - can you please tell me if there is any trick to understanding a thought as just as a thought and not reality? As in any way of knowing xyz thing was only a thought you were thinking of and something for its real existence? Any particular 3 step rule to differentiating between thoughts and reality?

Hello everyone, sorry to start another thread. But I have this one query about understanding this disorder in itself actually- If a particular incident has happened in real life, say for instance a distressing event or someone cheating on their spouse ; basically a distressful event. Any human bejng would obviously feel bad about it - including OCD and non OCD sufferers, right. Now I want to know the next bit better - what people on this forum are saying is in case of a non OCD sufferer the person may perhaps confess about adultery to her spouse or shares his grief about the event. So would the OCD sufferer. Both would feel guilty and make up for their mistakes, depending on their spouse's reaction. BUT WHAT you are saying is - the OCD sufferer would not feel better by just confessing as confession is a compulsion. An OCD sufferer would engage in excessive level of compulsions to in order to get rid of that distress? Is that what you are saying? An OCD sufferer would exhibit a reaction to the event - in terms of BOTH the reactive feeling and behaviour which is disproportionate to the event? And what you further go to say is that OCD sufferers do the compulsions because the distress is so much that they feel compelled to feel better (only for a short while though in case of compulsions). So what you are essentially suggesting is - in case of real life event, your reaction (thought and behaviour both) to the event is the core problem? OCD sufferers' reaction to that real life instance is the issue? I am asking the above questions in specific to real life instances and not only thoughts, images and urges. I just want to know if I am understanding this right. I really hope I get your insights because this has been my doubt for a while now actually. Thank you.