Pranjali

Hello everyone, a few months back I was told I have OCD by my psychiatrist. I am on medication. The symptoms have reduced but they could pop out of the blue like the OCD symptoms. Mine is more to do with false memory OCD and it can come in different themes. Anyway, in the past few months, I have kept myself away from alcohol. Deliberately. When I was first told about OCD I was in a bad shape and my parents too are extremely firm that alcohol is a trigger and it's better to stay away from it. Well it is not that I did not drink before but after that one instance and multiple ones, with or without false memory - I have been too scared of drinking. But the thing is there are times these days when I have the urge to drink with my husband or friends. But the fear gets the better of me. And also somehow know my parents would be really upset about it because they have seen me suffer. I was wondering if anyone here had insights to offer? Is avoiding alcohol a solution? Because the thought of suffering for days or months at end is draining. Or is it that OCD is one of those disorders which kind of subdues you? Some tab on your carefreeness, which is something I feel these days.

Thank you @dksea! This journey is tough.. Everything is so real that thoughts seem like reality and it is difficult to accept that they were, are and will be thoughts. Thoughts don't just seem to be thoughts because it is reality to me. Images or visuals seem to conjure up and mind feels like that is the reality. I'm planning to look for CBT self help books too or some resources online. Thank you once again.

@gingerbreadgirl just wanted to tell you hang in there..you are our inspiration and you feeling down is not nice..cheer up and just like so many times, I am sure you will continue to motivate people like me

Any responses to this?

Hello, sorry I did not reply to that. I am currently only on Serta 100 mg, one tablet a day. I am off Fludac for about 2 months or so.

I am also active on a couple of other threads but just thought it would be better to have a separate thread for this topic. I have been undergoing treatment for OCD with a psychiatrist with some medication on (though the medication has been reduced). Of course, I am not sure or don't want to believe that I even have OCD, honestly. But stuck bigtime. Would you happen to know any links on having CBT ERP sessions online? I have been having a look at the possible self help books and other resources, was wondering if there are any skype sessions which I can sign up for? Thank you.

I cannot thank the people here enough, but just feels like a web, an impossible one to get out from - honestly because my mind DOES NOT want to, that is the honest truth.

Yes the need to prove and the urge to settle it out is too strong because the otherwise feels morally wrong and like an escape. I am trying but I am not able to cope. Ruminating and confessing about this issue is so strong on my mind right now.

Hmmm, it is difficult to treat them as thoughts when your mind is convinced with the otherwise.

I understand. Yes it is not seeming possible to take that leap of faith, it feels like a lie, like an excuse which I don't want to face because I am a coward! What happens if I go and vent it out with my nieces' parents? How would a non OCD sufferer handle this? Wouldn't it be the same course of action? I am not able to see how I differ from a non OCD sufferer, indeed!

I don't know what to say. How do you prove your actions? Yes it is slightly odd that I am trying to prove my misdoings, but then it would only be fair!

How do you prove facts? For me, the instance happened! How can I prove it?

May be this is what happens to be the problem here. If I go and confess it to the parents, wouldn't that be right and fair? Because they deserve to know? Sorry to ask so many questions, don't know where to go!

I have been reading a few other threads too. But for me, this is a real life event and hence the cycle feels never ending. What concerns me is isn't lack of evidence an excuse (in this case as the kids are too young to communicate) to get away? For example: if a child who was misbehaved/assaulted by a perpetrator and if the child was not old enough to have the cognitive abilities of right and wrong, wouldn't the perpetrator be taken up to ask by the parents (of the child). How would a non OCD sufferer react to this differently if he/she had misbehaved?

Just because the kids are so small and I do not have enough evidence to prove my misdoings, why should I sneak out of this? They should know I did not behave well!