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Tom Butterworth

Bulletin Board User
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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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  • Gender
    Male
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    England

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  1. Thanks for the advise, in regards to difficulties seeing a GP, it would mean I'd have to tell my parents and go with them which I'm not too sure how to do. Or, I would have to go on my and being 17 it's quite daunting especially if I hide it from my parents. I'll arrange a meeting with my form tutor next week and explain my situation and get the help of a GP. It's quite embarrassing but I think I just need to bite the bullet, it's been too long now.
  2. Yes, i would be able to that immediately in regards to seeking help from a GP but I do not really know how I would go about it practically. I'll be be sure to stay in touch with the community because it acts as a safe space to allow us to freely speak
  3. Thanks a lot for the reply Cub, (I didn't expect a response so fast). It's comforting that you're so very understanding of my situation and supportive.. I've got to admit writing it all down for somebody else to see it's also very comforting. I don't feel able to sit my parents down formally as I wouldn't know how to express it in a way that they understand. They're loving parents who always have done what's best for me but like any family we fall out from time to time. As It feels like I've been 'pretending' to feel ok them I think would shock them to understand the extent of what's going on. This is why i think it best they found out through a 3rd party if that makes sense. I have a close relationship with my Grandma but she lives almost an hour away and see her every few weeks. Perhaps she may be able to listen. At my college my form tutor has made it clear that if we have any personal problems we can and should go to him and that he's 'seen everything before'. Though I feel that I'd be most comfortable talking to a GP on my own (online if possible) as then i would be able to explain through a doctor's eyes and better try to make sense of how I'm feeling and why I'm feeling like i am.
  4. Hi everyone, I'm a 17 year old who cannot cope with the thoughts inside my head. It's a daily struggle and has completely taken over all parts of my life. I used to be a very good footballer who played for professional teams however I cannot continue playing despite how much I used to enjoy it. This is because my thoughts simply will not allow me to, it's like I'm not even there physically I'm just on autopilot doing anything whilst unbearable intrusive and racing thoughts flood my mind. I'm on the pitch and I feel like going off crying at times. I'm in England and currently in College. It's next to impossible to concentrate in class and has manifested into poor exam results as well as teacher concern for lack of effort. I'm unable to speak to girls I'm attracted to because all my effort goes into coping with my torturous thoughts. I've lost interest in my old hobbies such as history, boxing, football, politics and gaming. I've had OCD tendencies for a few years now but made nothing of it. An example of this is when I couldn't stop thinking about my breathing. I felt like I was manually breathing all day everyday and it was very stressful. I also had an irrational fear that flies were going to fly into my ears for many months which sounds ridiculous. Lastly, in my exams I've taken I constantly fear that I'm going to scribble out my entire work... I very suddenly have these very bad stomach aches that make me feel sick to my stomach as well as sharp headaches that occur often. Also, I find myself having a very high heart rate when there is no danger around and I'm very jumpy and easily scared. For example, I go to a bus station every college day and the horns make me jump out of my skin, it doesn't affect anybody else. I've also had multiple panic attacks and crying episodes occur almost daily and multiple times. Hot flashes and being overwhelmed by stress also happens almost everyday. Small issues anger me very quickly and I'm often irritable and almost constantly restless. I have next to 0 sex drive and have ED which I assume is down to stress. I have acne breakout very badly all over my face. I can't stop thinking about my insecurity: my height. It's not much bothered me before but now, it's something I worry about everyday (I'm around 5 ft 7). I have no confidence and have isolated myself from all of my friends as I find it easier due to the risk of embarrassing myself or saying the wrong thing. I feel like I'm going crazy and that I've lost my mind. The only ways I try to deal with my problems is by trying to stimulate myself enough to help distract me. For example I'll listen to music whilst watching a film with subtitles and I'm constantly eating whenever I can. In addition, I'm also addicted to my phone. I become very distressed when I don't have access to it. I have had suicidal thoughts but I value life very much and fear death. Furthermore, my beautiful dogs as well as the image of my parents carrying my coffin don't allow me to take action. I feel scared that i'm at my wits end and may not be able to take it much longer. I feel very hopeless. One of the most frustrating things is that nobody knows, at all. I feel I need to talk to somebody but it's extremely difficult to start the conservation. I appreciate any advise or help you could give me. Thank you.
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