Hi.
I have OCD (possibly the purely obsessive kind, I'm not too sure of the distinctions, but I am diagnosed), and some of my obsessions are often to do with medical conditions and health anxiety. Since my younger brother was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 8 years ago it's been a recurring fear in particular for me. I know that I'm at risk and my diet probably doesn't help that. I'm often on high alert for any of the symptoms...
Anyway, this recent issue started last week when one evening I had to use the bathroom more than usual. Me being me my mind jumped to the possiblity that this was an early sign of the onset of diabetes. I haven't really had any more issues with bathroom frequency since then, but it's kicked me into high gear looking out for other symptoms. And the thing is, I *am* feeling other symptoms. My mouth feels dry, my hands, legs and feet seem to be hurting... I can't stop thinking about them and the more I focus on it all the worse and more real it all seems to be.
The thing is is that I'm not sure if these are actual things that I am feeling or whether my hyperfocus on particular parts of my body and on certain types of sensations is causing me to imagine things, or assign significance to normal bodily sensations that my brain would ordinarily filter out. Plus I know that to an extent my mind is capable of wholesale imagining physical symptoms. The dry mouth and such, the limb aches, I have "felt" all this on previous occasions when I have been worried about diabetes. Those times it turned out to be nothing but my OCD. And yet...
I *can* feel these things. It feels like I can, like it's real. I can't tell what symptoms are real and what are imagined. My whole brain is screaming with fear about this, the possiblity of my having diabetes. I can't stop thinking about how dry my mouth seems to feel, my hands and feet aching, trying to "test" things about my body to see if I could have diabetes, but of course I can't know for sure. Can my brain be faking/convincing me of all this I seem to feel, really? Has anyone else had the experience of that, or is it infeasible that that is the case... I'm so afraid and can't stop monitoring my body and freaking out over the "signs". Having trouble getting to sleep and so I found this place... Outside perspectives would help I think
