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KRANN

Bulletin Board User
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  1. Thank you for your reply Gemma. He's never been hopeful that any support will make him better and it was a struggle to get him to start the therapy sessions in the first place. He is set tasks each week but always says he doesn't have time to do them as he works so late each day. I do try to discuss how we are going to get ourselves out of the situation and I'm mindful not to put the blame on him but it always ends in an argument and nothing changes. He sees the whole house as dirty - in an ideal world we need to move out, get the work done on all the rooms and move back in, but I can't see that happening, amongst other elements there is the cost of renting somewhere and finding tradesmen that he will allow to do the work. It's just a hopeless situation.
  2. Husband has been receiving therapy (currently weekly phone calls due to Covid) for his contamination OCD since September time but I'm not seeing any signs of improvement, if nothing he's getting worse. I am finally realising that his OCD is affecting more than I realise but have no-one to talk to about, nor have I ever told anyone. He will now allow anyone in the house (pre Covid) to do DIY as believe the tools they will use are dirty and believe generally that workman do not wash their hands after touching bins, going to toilet etc (he has experienced this in past when working as electrician) so will attempt all DIY himself. For the past 10+ years, our lounge is a shell with no ceiling, floor or front window (this is boarded up). To add to the stress, my mother passed away on Christmas eve and I had just a few weeks to clear her house. with lockdown the options to donate to charity were not possible so we now have the contents of her house in our lounge. Our 'lounge' is a spare bedroom where we sit to eat dinner on two deckchairs. I have to bring dinner up stairs each night. The kitchen is declared as the most clean room in the house (the only one we have renovated since we moved in 20+ years ago and have to have separate slippers for this room, which I have to change each time I go in/out the room. Sounds extreme to most but almost feels normal to me. We have paid for the same brickwork area to be rebuilt by 5 different builders as each one hasn't done it to his exacting standards (3/4mm out) and he spent hours washing each brick before the builder could use them. It's still not fixed - we have boarded up lounge window, boarded up patio doors and back door so the house is cold (I have Raynauds so not great for me). I am constantly being told to 'wash my hands' and feel like a 5 year old. I cannot take the rubbish out to the bins as I will have dirty hands when I come back in and then will touch the taps to wash my hands. He has a separate 'outfit' to take the rubbish out and when he does I have to open/close the door and then turn the taps on and pump liquid soap into his hands each time. If I take the rubbish out he will go ballistic and spend hours washing the taps and door handles after. He spends up to 2 hours in the shower, scrubbing himself - we never get into bed until the very early hours - between 1 and 2am (last night it was 3.40am). Our monthly water bill is over £100. Quite frankly I'm exhausted. HIs work is very stressful so he has been working 9/10 hours a day so never has time to do other chores (I do all washing, cooking etc) but I feel that I don't look after myself. Luckily I am still working at home, as barely get chance to brush my hair/teeth or generally make an effort in my appearance. I am dreading going back to work as have put on so much weight and generally feel that I don't want to go out. I have some health issues of my own which I am supposed to manage but never have enough time to myself to do this. I don't know whether I am being dramatic by saying that I think I am depressed (i don't know if I am) - I honestly cannot see how we can get ourselves out of this situation. I feel like like is passing us by and we are just surviving, not living. I love my husband dearly and desperately want to help him but I just can't see anything improving. I have no idea if the person he chats too knows the extent of his OCD - he was considered extreme during the referral process, so I hope so. I just don't know what to do to help him - if a professional cannot help, then I'm hardly going to be able to? I know OCD is not 'cured' overnight but I haven't seen any improvement since the therapy started. I have daily conversations with myself - one minute I think I'm being selfish and should put up with the situation, as it is him suffering with OCD, but on the other hand there are people out there having a life and living it and I want us to have that too without hearing 'wash your hands' every time I touch something. I'm sorry for the long post - hadn't intended to write this much but I just don't know what to do. Thank you to anyone that reads my post. I wish you all a good evening ?
  3. They've told him to contact the local IAPT but said there is no-one specifically that deals with OCD? I've found a private company that offers CBT so that may be an option. I'm not sure if he will contact either currently - doctor was quite dismissive about his condition. I will keep you posted on any progress/updates. :-)
  4. Hubby went to the GP this morning as a first step to addressing his OCD but felt it was a waste of time. He gave GP the ice breaker sheet and gave examples of his issues. He was referred to a NHS service but told there is no-one that actually deals with OCD (only depression and anxiety) and there is a currently an 8 week wait for an initial assessment. I asked him to show the GP his hands (they are significantly white and flaky from all the handwashing) and he was just told to use a better hand cream. I'm feeling as though hubby has come away deflated and just re-affirms that he thought going to the GP was going to be a waste of time (he's said this for years) and that he has now lost any glimmer of hope that he had to address the issues.
  5. Hi Gemma7 Many thanks for your reply and comments. We are in the UK, so I have printed off the ice break handout for some hints and tips, as I agree it's easy to forget important things. I also know from my experience at a different GP surgery that they are never keen to allocate you more than 5 mins so this will help us get the issues across to them quickly. I will let you know how we get on after next week's appointment :-)
  6. I’ve not been on his forum for several years as resigned myself to knowing that my husband was not going to seek help or support for his OCD tendencies around contamination. However out of the blue he has made an appointment to see his doctor next week to start to get some help, which I’m very pleased about for his sake as well as my own. His mother passed away recently and so I’m not sure if this is a trigger. I’ve offered to go with him to the appointment but regardless of whether I do or not I suggested that he might wish to make some notes to take along with him to highlight the significant of his OCD and how it is affecting everyday life and more recently his work. If his doctor is anything like mine, you are on a 5 minute time clock so want him to be prepared and remember to get significant points across to the GP if this is the case. Has anyone any experience of going to the GP for the first time and can offer any tips or pointers to be prepared? What kind of support could the GP they offer (or can they refer you to somewhere)? I very much appreciate OCD isn’t cured overnight but feel that we may be turning a corner to improving both of our lives. Thank you for reading
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