I have recently discovered this website, after years of suffering with what I now know to be ocd.
It was amazing to read exactly what I was suffering from, written in words as if someone took them out of my mind, all of you on here will know how difficult it is and what a long road it can be to recovery, I am just at the beginning, I have my first therapy session next week.
For me ocd is very complex and I'm still trying to digest it and find out all the whys! I also suffer from depression, low self estime, but do my best to lead a relatively normal life.
My OCD in a nutshell is contamination, especially with regards to food poisoning and things/substances getting into my eyes, eye damage etc, weird isn't it?
what follows are very strict regimes with regard to washing hands, preparing food, handling things and doing things in particular order to avoid contamination, it goes far deeper than can be portrayed simply in this paragraph, but know it takes its toll on me, and people around me, I am mentally exhausted most of the time, simple tasks can take hours, and the constant worry is just pure evil.
Both of these things, the contamination and eye health, in my mind could lead to time off work or loss of livelihood, which is a major fear of mine.
I value my trade/ job very highly, it's the only thing I have in life, I sort of link my identity/selfworth with my job,.
Its strange and cruel, the things ocd can latch on to, the things you value the most.
Thanks for reading, today was a bad day, and I felt compelled to share with you, I hope each and every one of you the best in your recovery.