awirmiegeht

But how do I focus on myself if my OCD is worsened by how I'm treated by them?

HI Christina, I can hear how hard it has been for you with your son recently. It does sound like he is feeling really quite anxious about something, and if he does have OCD this may explain it. I don't know how much you know about OCD, but what I find that a lot of people don;t understand about the condition is that we cannot control what we do or how we feel with any ease. I have spent years of my parents telling me 'just stop doing that', and 'just get better', but it is just not that simple. And I think it is beyond difficult for parents to find that perfect balance between empathy, challenging, reassuring, ignoring, and I think the main reason this is so hard for them is because they're not professionals, and especially if you're at the beginning of your term with your son's (potential) OCD, I can imagine how hard it is for you to try and find this balance when you haven't much experience in knowing what that balance is. What I would like to offer you is the fact that if it is OCD, your son does not want to behave this way. There is a line between OCD and just behaviour, for example a person has thoughts that they could stab someone with a kitchen knife, but this thought is really very distressing for them, but they can't get rid of it, and to try and calm down they do compulsions, then this may well be classed as OCD. And it is important to remember that this hypothetical person doesn't actually want to hurt anyone, it is their brain tricking them. But then there will be people who get this thought and it doesn't distress them, and they just get on with their day. I know it can be really tricksy trying to deal with you son's compulsive behaviours, which I can tell you with experience of my parents trying to deal with me. But something I would love my parents to understand about OCD, that I feel may be helpful for you, is that we do these things because we believe we're in great danger, every second of our lives, and we don't know how to get out of it. We are trapped in danger. And there is a chance your son is feeling this same danger right now, that he feels something awful will happen if he doesn't behave this way. This does not negate how you feel, and how you are feeling right now is also valid. I wonder, have you asked him what's causing this compulsive behaviour? Or have you asked him how he is feeling when he is doing the compulsions? You never know, asking him these questions may give you some insight into how he's feeling. I hope this helps. And please reply to this if you have questions about what I've said, and I hope everything goes okay at your GP appointment. Your son deserves every bit of help in the world.

Thank you so much for your response. I have actually had 3 different therapists in the past 4 years, all of which discharged me as 'untreatable' which is really distressing. I am currently just seeing a counsellor which is really helpful to talk to. But my past therapist did engage my parents in my treatment, but more often than not she would 'take my parents side' and try to push me too hard into exposure to things I am scared of. I will try and show them the site so that they can try to understand, that is a really good idea! I guess they just have researched things like this on their own volition, read my self help books about OCD and my fear of vomiting, yet they still behave in this way. But I will try and actively give them information. Thanks so much for telling me a bit about yourself and how things have worked for you! I do find this really helpful to hear how things have been for other people so I can incorporate it myself!

Hey everyone, I just need some opinions from some fellow OCD sufferers or parents or whoever knows about what I'm talking about! I have had OCD for nearly 14 years, onset at 7 years old, but only diagnosed 4 years ago when I was 17. But in spite of being diagnosed 4 years ago, my parents are very difficult and unwilling to accept my condition, and they are eternally challenging me and my compulsions. For instance, whenever I wash my hands (which is a lot!) I wash them eight times, which takes me around 5 minutes. Whenever my parents see me, hear me, sense me washing my hands, they will come up and ask me why I'm washing my hands, tell me I 'don't need to wash my hands so much', asks me 'why do I wash my hands so much', tells me 'I could just not wash my hands', like 'I could just stop washing my hands so easily I can just stop'. It is very exhausting. Every single conversation I have with them includes something about my OCD, most frequently with emphasis on the question 'why can't you just stop having OCD?' or something of a similar vein. But on the other hand, when I try to talk to my parents about how I feel, when they don't initiate the conversation, they deny all knowledge of my anxiety. And depression for that matter. They are fully aware of the obsessions and compulsions I have, but don't seem to think I have any anxiety or depression surrounding them, or at least they pretend like they don't know this. They will say to me 'you're happy, right?', 'what have you got to be anxious about?', 'you don't have anything to worry about', 'your sister has more to worry about than you', despite having an anxiety disorder. This has been an ongoing theme for my parents since being diagnosed, and it's as if they pick and choose when I have OCD - and when I do have OCD in their minds, it's an opportunity to shout at me and tell me I'm not trying to get better and tell me to stop washing my hands and cleaning. They don't even notice my other compulsions like checking, symmetry, order etc. Please if anyone has advice on how to deal with my parents, or even if anyone experiences difficulties with their parents or families it would be really helpful. Or even if you know someone with OCD, how do you deal with it in a way that's better than what I've listed above? Thank you so much guys