lonelyguy

Hi all, many thanks for the warm welcome on here on my previous thread. I'm currently trying again to recover from my OCD or at least ease the symptoms as I've been struggling with it for years to various degrees. I'm re-reading the book ''Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder'' and I find it a helpful book. The basic gist of the advice seems to be to not give into the compulsions and when you have an irrational thought not to fight it or neutralise it, but to just let it be. Can someone give me some further advice on just letting the thoughts be? Like, what should I be thinking after I have an irrational thought? Should I just try distract myself? Now onto the main point of this thread, sometimes i'm not sure if my worries/fears are rational or irrational, sometimes i'm not sure how cautious I should be. Anyone else get like this? I am over cautious and I'm assuming that is because of my OCD. I also have generalised anxiety disorder and have a really bad habit of catastrophizing things and sometimes I think ''Is this thought a legitimate worry or not?'' Any Advice to help with this? It's nice to be a part of a forum with such understanding people so thank you again

Hi all, many thanks for the replies from you all, some great advice there! It's just I worry if I start dating someone new i'll have the same situation where I stop feeling content with things early on, I guess I can only find out if I date someone again! I stayed with her long enough to see if my feelings would develop but they just didn't and maybe nothing could have changed that... OB1 when you say you've been there do you mean you had a relationship with someone who ticked all the boxes and you still were not content or is it something else?

Hi snowbear, Thank you for the response. Yes it didn't work out, but it bothers me that I don't have a reason why I wasn't content with her when on paper she was great. To stop feeling it for her so soon when I was dating her really confuses me and the only reason I can think why is because of my OCD/Anxiety issues, though some people say sometimes you just don't feel it and there is no real reason why. I'd rather it not be my OCD/Anxiety issues, its pretty impossible for me to know for sure. It's just I feel like I've missed out on something special as I waited so long to meet someone nice who liked me back and I finally did yet still wasn't content... Yes I do occupy myself with my hobbies, but there's only so much I can do and sometimes my mind just wanders. I'm just confused about my own feelings but I guess ruminating and over analysing isn't helping.

Hi all, I suffer from OCD and generalised anxiety, I've really been trying to get better, but its hard sometimes. Hope I can find some good advice on this forum. So anyway recently I was in my first ever relationship with a really nice woman who ''ticked all the boxes'', I felt lucky to have her. The first couple of dates with her was exciting, but then once the relationship started to get a bit more serious and I knew she liked me back I lost that ''spark'' and it really bothered me as I felt lucky to have finally met someone so nice. I just didn't feel content for some reason and even had the urge to meet and date others as I wanted to feel that ''excitement'' again despite her being so nice. I really was hoping my feelings would grow over time but they didn't, I stayed with her just under a year until she left me and then shortly after I saw her with a new guy and it made me miss her and feel depressed - but if I wasn't fully into her why did I feel depressed? It wouldn't have been right for me to continue on the relationship if I wasn't content, but i'm wondering if it was my OCD/Anxiety issues that stopped me from feeling it. The times with her were nice, just not ''really really nice''. She did some immature things sometimes during the relationship, I have a fear of heights and she wanted to go on a fair ground ride with me and when I explained that I didn't feel comfortable doing that she walked off in a mood, I caught up with her and she eventually calmed down but still... it wasn't nice. I was feeling discontent before that incident though so that can't have been the reason why my feelings weren't strong enough. I've been going round in circles mentally torturing myself over trying to figure out why I couldn't feel it for her, if it is because of my OCD/Anxiety issues then that is very frustrating, I feel like I missed out on something special but I can't figure out ''why'' I was not content, I was waiting so long so have a nice girlfriend and I finally did and it still wasn't enough... I worry that I'll be in a similar situation in future relationships but I suppose I can't force myself to have feelings for someone. Any thoughts would be very welcome :)