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    All of them I think!

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  1. Amazing news @Bee65, need to take the wins when you get them! Glad you’re feeling a little better
  2. You’re absolutely spot on @malina. The thoughts are distressing but the fear of the anxiety is even more so. That then leads into a vicious cycle that fuels the thought and, picking up on @Caramoole’s point makes the fear of the anxiety even worse. That then leads to thoughts that I’ve felt this way so many times that the intrusive thoughts must be true, therefore the anxiety gets worse and … you know how it goes! The worst thing is I’m an analyst/project manager. I live with logic and order and rationale every day, but I can’t rationalise my own bloody thoughts!
  3. This is exactly what happens! That’s uncanny… it’s so frustrating to be so aware and conscious of something, but feel so powerless to do anything about it
  4. Sorry Ashley, tried to drop you a private message but it says you don’t accept them. Do you have an email?
  5. Thanks Ashley, that’s great! Really helpful. yeah I’ve been on the IAPT waiting list since January 2020. It’s all down to Covid apparently…
  6. Thanks @bahiano and @PolarBear. You’re right, I do the compulsions but they’re so subtle that I often don’t click that I’m doing them! Think I’m gonna try writing them down somewhere or something to remind myself to recognise and stop them in their tracks! Or try to anyway…
  7. Hi @MarieJo, totally understand your point about nhs therapy. I’ve been on the waiting list now for over 18 months. They keep offering me group therapy quicker, but I’ve tried that before but the nature of my obsessions are difficult to discuss in group sessions. I’m in a pretty well paid job but I can’t afford private therapy, it’s so expensive. Might try that self help book (brain lock) that a few people here have recommended
  8. This is so true @PolarBear! I’ve been hit with multiple themes over the years and everyone always seems worse than the last when you’re in the depths of anxiety. It’s not, I think you just forget how bad it was previously. I think it’s the only way your brain can come to terms with it, by “softening” the memories of it (I can only compare it to what my wife tells me about childbirth!!!) I can’t even explain to non-sufferers how much it hurts (physically as well as mentally) when OCD flares up.
  9. Thanks @bahiano, can I ask what’s the 4 step approach?
  10. Hi, not posted for a while, been doing well at keeping stuff under control. Keep getting triggers that I feel could spike me and send me spiralling. Just wondering what it’s like for people when their ocd flares up? when I get a trigger it often doesn’t hit me like a brick. It kind of builds up over a period of days from the initial thought/trigger that set me off, and I’m really conscious/aware of it, but can’t seem to do much to stop it. It’s like I just resign myself to the fact that the next few weeks are just going to be sh*t, and then they are, it makes me feel really helpless and pretty scared. can anyone else relate to this? If so, do you have any advice to stop the raising anxiety before it gets too much?
  11. Hi @Londoner, so sorry to hear you’re going through this. I’m struggling a lot with both relationship and sexuality at the minute. I don’t know how it is for you, but I have brief minutes when I don’t ask questions and everything is fine, but as soon as I start to feel happy it’s then like “what if”. It’s torture, definitely ask your therapist about ERP. I’m still on the waiting list... @seb79 so sorry to hear you lost so much mate. To hear that really hurts me. I really hope you’ve managed to find some sort of solace after all that. x
  12. Hi @Little_Mim, @MarieJo is absolutely right. The key is to focus on the pattern, and not the theme. OCD can present itself in many different ways and focus on a million different themes, but it’s noticing and addressing the process of obsessions and compulsions. Regardless of the theme, the response is the same. Accept the thought and the doubt. Im very similar to yourself, having had multiple themes of OCD since I was a kid. My latest compulsion is constantly telling myself it’s OCD over and over again in my head. But then the old favourite “but what if it’s not” pops into my head and so the vicious circle begins again...
  13. I think you’re spot on @Malina. And @snowbear too. Your point about thinking “maybe I do, maybe I don’t” is particularly powerful. Almost telling yourself “I’ll figure it out later when I’m in a better state of mind”. I suffer from sexuality and relationship OCD combined (you can see how they’d feed off each other!) and it’s, quite frankly, ******* torture. Doing the things suggested by the guys above really are the only way to beat it. No matter how impossible it feels
  14. Yeah, another standard symptom. When I got to that stage first time i decided I needed professional help and contacted IAPT (arguably I should’ve done that much sooner!). I’m not a professional, just a fellow sufferer of this b*stard, so would also suggest seeking professional help.
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