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Iris27

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Everything posted by Iris27

  1. Hi Danielle, I used to work in mental health, adults, not children but would agree with everything else has said. However, and not to add something else into the mix, I am wondering if there is another possible source of anxiety. I have been looking into this re my partner- there can be overlap between OCD and autism. They of course aren't the same, but some the can sometimes present similarly. Some of what you have written makes me think a little more of autism (routine, being very black and white) than OCD possibly, or a combination. But I know less about autism than OCD as I didn't train in that. I'm only new to the forum but I hope it's okay to post a link to the National Autistic Society website, I have gone to Asperger's in particular based on what you have said about your son: https://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/asperger.aspx I may not be on the right lines, but we all know the feeling of the quest for answers and I couldn't not share something if it was possibly helpful at all. Best of luck?
  2. Thanks Snowbear, you've reminded of something very fundamental and a source of tension no doubt between us. I probably am trying to 'do' CBT to him in a way, an approach I never would have adopted professionally. He will definitely be sensing that and resisting it even more. I would too probably, he's not the only stubborn one in the house ?! I definitely haven't and wouldn't go down an ultimatum route as that is not a thing I would do and I also know that really wouldn't work anyway. But I like your idea of something he has given up of is of value to him. That's a tricky one really as work has always consumed a lot of his time and there is little else that he would prioritise enough over his ckeaning. But can try to think of some possible ideas. The idea of 'what is best for him' is 100% something that he is reacting against as he dislikes being helped in any aspect of life and this area is top of the list. So that is very relevant. I have tried the cognitive side a little but he quickly sees through that as he read up on a lot things in the past himself. But I will try, I think my desperation as I am so concerned for him, particularly re his reduction in food and weight loss, has made me want to try to 'fix' things so urgently as I am scared for him that they will escalate further. As a result, I fear will harder for him to try to tackle as/if when he wants to at a later point. As others have said it is just very difficult, I can see the effects on him, the stranglehold it has on him, how it limits his life and as a byproduct as affects us and our life. I don't mean that to sound selfish, but I just mean it is heartbreaking to see what the OCD is doing to him and I feel helpless even though I know I could help. But you are right it has to come from him. It's just the collateral damage in the meantime. Thank you so much for taking the time give a really helpful reply. I really appreciate it.
  3. Hi, I have been toying with coming on here and to be honest having read just a few other post comments and the responses, I feel better instantly feel less alone as I can see others as battling like me. My partner has always had some compulsions during our time together or has liked things a certain way which I essentially knew were a hangover from the OCD I think he thought, he had 'squashed down' but I kind of knew would recur as he has never sought treatment for. My two struggles are as follows: I used to work as a CBT therapist so I understand things from a professional side, I know what we ideally need to do and I have read even more to try to help me to help and understand from a partner's side too as it is so different. However, my partner doesn't want to seek help and I totally get that he may not want to divulge things to me- especially because of what I used to do in many ways. But all I want to do is help, especially when I have the tools. I just don't know what to do. The time he is spending cleaning is increasing, the increased is affecting our lives more and more. He has also reduced what he is eating too which is an additional worry and he has lost a noticeable amount weight which as a slim man he did not need to lose. The professional, patient part of me knows it's the disease- the human, less patient part of me just wants to try to fix things and at times to be honest scream. The trigger has been COVID (not the fear of the virus) & the action of using more wipes, the encouragement to Any comments, feedback are welcome, about how to help him engage with help. For context even aside from the issue of OCD he is a very stubborn character and dislikes any professional input. Thank you.
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