I too have recently been dealing with “real event” OCD and it’s been tearing me apart. I have regrets on things I’ve done, I carry shame and sadness, I feel unworthy of my partners love and I feel like without all this information my partner doesn’t know that kind of person he is with, despite the fact he has said the past is in the past And he doesn’t need to know and that I need to move on. I also constantly fear the information will one day come out. I constantly feel the need to “confess” my sins and I know, from past experience with my OCD that doing this will make it a whole lot worse. I almost feel like I’m lying. I also have the need to understand WHY I made these mistakes and I constantly ruminate over the facts or my entire life leading up to it. On much scrolling the web and looking for answers, which in itself I realise is reassurance, I have found that I need to sit with these thoughts and let them be, so I can eventually make peace with them and let them go. It is making peace with ourselves that’s the key. The response from snowbear actually made me feel quite emotional. We beat ourselves up all the time, everyone makes mistakes...just others are able to move past it And our OCD minds just constantly stand in our way.