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    Living with OCD

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  1. I still haven’t been officially diagnosed with OCD but I’m so sure I have it. I just want to speak to a therapist so I can get diagnosed and start therapy, because I feel like I’m going insane, especially since lockdown started it’s just given me more time to ruminate. I’ve reached out to 2 private therapists now and neither of them have got back to me, it’s been 2 weeks since I got in touch. Can anyone recommend where I can find them (in England)? I’m scared to go to the doctor because I don’t find them very understanding or compassionate, hence why I’d prefer to start with a counsellor/therapist. I’ve looked on ‘Psychology Today’ already, but I haven’t had any luck. Thanks in advance.
  2. So as the title suggests, some of my intrusive thoughts (the worst ones imaginable) have been entering my dreams. They are sexual and horrific in nature and the worst part is they are so vivid and I can’t even try and block them out like I do in waking life, I have to actually experience it fully in my head until I wake up. It’s ruining me. I know it’s not what I desire because it makes me so disgusted and even involves family members, but I feel like I can’t excuse myself because they are dreams. Everyone says what you dream is what you’re subconsciously thinking. It makes me sick. This isn’t what I’m subconsciously thinking or daydreaming about. But then why is it entering my dreams? As if I don’t deal with it enough in waking life. I dread going to sleep because they just keep getting worse, and I feel weird around my family in case they do or say something that will trigger my mind to create another monstrous nightmare when I go to sleep. I just want to know, has anyone else’s intrusive thoughts come to haunt them in their sleep? Or am I just a monster. I feel so nervous typing this, because if I’m the only one who experiences this then I am clearly the issue.
  3. Thanks for your reply @OCD 1 Yes, I have also had obsessions and compulsions as far back as I can remember and I’m in my twenties now. I actually never thought anything of them, I thought everyone had them, I kind of just saw them as habits, doubts, and anxiety that every human has. In fact it might indeed just be that, I might not even have ocd. However, my dad and my grandma on his side both have it. Not sure if it can be inherited but if it can, it would make sense. Sounds mad but I only actually really thought I might have it after I watched a couple of tv shows about ocd by accident! I thought, wow that’s me. Then after researching the symptoms, the way my mind works made a whole lot more sense haha!
  4. Hi, I’m new on this forum. I haven’t yet been officially diagnosed with ocd but I recently contacted a therapist as I’m pretty sure I do have it as I have had many of the symptoms my entire life. However, since coming to the realisation that I probably do have it, I’ve been obsessed with reading up on it. I spend hours flicking through this forum, watching YouTube videos and reading up on it. Whilst it does provide me with more information and hearing other people’s stories is comforting, there’s also a bad side to this. Because now I’m overthinking absolutely everything I do. Every action I make there’s a voice in my head saying ‘that’s ocd’, and then I overthink it, get another obsessive thought and then a compulsion. I’ve always dealt with obsessive thoughts and compulsions but I didn’t always notice them that much, but since self-diagnosing and reading up on it constantly, I can’t stop thinking about them. It’s very draining. I know I should stop reading up about ocd because that is what’s making it worse, but it’s like a cycle. I read about it, overthink an action I’m doing, this triggers an obsessive thought, followed by a compulsion, start feeling drained, then come back online again for answers, then the cycle repeats. I feel like I’ve been constantly overanalysing myself and everything I do. I just wanna know, am I alone in this? Is this even ocd or am I simply overthinking and overanalysing myself like many neurotypical people do. The more I think about it, the more it becomes some loop in my head that I can’t escape. Any advice or answers to this?
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