Keeks

Yes, I had an eating disorder from age 8-24 restricted eating, calorie counting, feeling and looking too fat where I lost alot of weight, hiding food, throwing food away, and well, I have a heart condition which could have been made worse by it all. I still have these issues in the back of my mind they never really go away you kind of have to manage them, but since age 26 to now it's not the same, I believe I was suffering with anorexia as a child and now I think it may be orthorexia. I restrict both because I don't want to put weight on and because of my food fears and bad thoughts about them including weight gain, possible allergies, contamination and that they will make my sick. I only eat healthy foods fruit and veg basically. I don't eat, meat, fish, dairy, corn, soy, condiments, processed food, sugar, fats, confectionery, wheat, preservatives, natural flavouring, vinegar, eggs etc. I'm also obsessed with the scales and weight and keeping myself below a certain weight. Now I'm 7stone and 5ft 7. Thank you for your response I'll start trying to find resources about ocd because it's destroying my life aside from eating drinking personal care and medicines the thoughts about germs and diseases keeps me house bound especially because of covid.

Hello ? I'm feeling pretty alone with my OCD I have had OCD most of my life but didn't know the signs. I was diagnosed in 2018 but haven't received treatment. The doctors don't know what to do with me whether its an eating disorder or OCD they referred me to an eating disorder clinic in August and I'm still waiting for an assessment. I can't eat certain foods because of fear they will make me sick, can't eat food I don't know where it's come from or that I haven't eaten before or have strangers prepare it for fear they have done something to it and that I can't read the labels to check for harmful ingredients. I also have a fear of getting fat and a fear that I will get an allergy from something so avoid food groups altogether. This isn't isolated to food but to cosmetics, soaps, tap water (contamination), shower water, medication etc. Also have an issue with public places, crowds of people often hold my breath when walking past people in case they have a disease, can't touch switches, handles, toilet seats etc. When I go out I worry about particals getting in my hair and have to wipe down everything in the car, home anything I took out the house then i have to shower and scrub followed by more handwashing. It's effecting me being able to go to the office as I have a complete breakdown when I'm around other people. My OCD also effects my relationships as I can't be intimate with anyone because of body fluid and contamination. Covid has made my contamination aspect of OCD worse and can't see that I will be able to live a normal life again as it's now impacting food, drink, medication (i have chronic illness) relationships and work. Does anyone have similar issues? Any advise what to do?