Iris

Yeh my ocd support group leader who helps me sometimes tried to contact Ashley to get some input and advice but Ashley said he didn’t want to help as I have psychosis and he doesn’t think he can help?? exactly rn it feels like they just locked me up and I haven’t even seen a therapist yet and they stopped my antidepressants since I got here?? Like wtf...I don’t have any family in the country it was just me and my mum for a long while then she went back to her home country at jan 2020 and hasn’t come back even after hospital have rung i tried asking to speak to a psych therapist who knows about ocd n psychosis and they said as I’m only here on a section 2 they don’t see the point as I may get discharged before the 28 days and I have I’ll be going back to the CMHT anyways. So I’m just getting locked up.. thank you for your reply

Yeah I’ve have various different paranoid beliefs, when I was little I was convinced my mum wa a poisoning me, then convinced my dad was tryna get into my room to rape me, then I thought I was in a parallel universes and that I was being controlling by devil.. the only thing I found helpful was therapy but they stopped my CBT in August 2019 because I wasn’t getting better and I had reached my quota of sessions I was allowed on the nhs ???

They keep trying to make me take it but I’m worried it’s gonna make me unable to see the bad ppl around me when they’re really there, if I can’t see them I can’t keep myself safe

I tried so many different anti psychotics but none made much difference so that partly why I think my beliefs must be real otherwise if it’s hallucinations then the meds should be getting rid of it so it’s further proof what I’m seeing is real

So I been diagnosed with paranoid psychosis in 2014 in my second inpatient admission when I first became convinced there were lenses on my eyes. But then over the years different psychiatrists have said I don’t have psychosis it’s just ocd with no insight. My ocd behaviours are all centred around checking whenever I see these bad people follwong me or when I see the messeges they leave for me on every açai me surface like the ground, walls etc telling me stuff like ‘we’ve been in your flat and poisoned the water supply’ then I have to get going back to where I saw it and stare rly hard until I don’t see it anymore. Or I’ll be talking to someone on the phone and I think I hear them say they’re working wth the band people and I keep asking them ‘are you working with them etc’ or I replay the moment I heard them say it over and over again but the more I replay it the more I become convinced I heard them say it so maybe it’s a false memory?? But I HAVE to make sure

I have a severe ocd and paranoid psychosis Comorbid disorder and has been steadily deteriorating since 2016 when I moved out of my home with my mum. I believe there are virtual reality lenses on my eyes and I have to keep touching my eyes and feeling around to check but it’s just making my eyes painful and it seems to be stuck on there. I’ve had these lenses for nearly 7 years now. Every waking moment is spent in panic and fear seeing messeges from the bad people who put the lenses on my eyes and seeing them following me everywhere. The final straw was I start getting convinced that everyone in my life is working with them and I can trust no one so I’m completely alone and I can’t get these lenses off. I attempted suicide 4 times in the last 4 months by taking like 40-50 fluoxetine tablets I had around and each time I was sent to a&e and then sent home as soon as I was medically ok. All that happened was I was very very ill and apparently had some seizures which I don’t remember . Then last Friday I took a load of diazepam with some vodka to see if that’s do the trick and semi passed out before that I phoned my boyfriend and just thanked him for all the happy times, even though I’m pretty convinced he’s working with the bad people (maybe they’re paying him to do stuff to me and it was confirmed when he poked me in the eye and put lenses there) he’s still been really nice to me and I feel is genuinely a sweet guy and made me laugh a smile a lot. I vaguely remember some paramedics bashing my door in and cutting off my clothes then being taken to a&e again. This time they sectioned me then brought me to a psych unit(pretty sure the psych unit is working with the bad people too) and now I’m on a section 2 and they’ve taken anything I can harm myself with so I can’t even kill myself anymore. I guess I have to wait for this section to end so I can go home and finsih the job properly this time