Jayl123

I can understand that. I had mostly that in the past, writing a word or explaining my problem felt that it gives more validity, and it gives more chance to be true. Feel free to expose yourself here. Writing an ocd problem does not make the theme more real... Thank you MentalChecker, I really needed to read that. It gives me some motivation to not compulse

Thank you Caramoole. Today is worse than yesterday. I tried not ruminating, but it spike my anxiety like crazy. Now I'm thinking about my first relationship. When she broke up with me I was devastated. However, many months later, I came to the conclusion that it was a good thing. There was not much positive thing in our relationship.... now I wonder what if I broke up with my current girlfriend and realize later that it was a good thing??? This thought make me feel really bad. I don't want to brake up with my girlfriend. I'm just afraid like crazy that I should. This relationship is not like the first one, there is many positive things in it. But thinking that we do not have the same passion in life give me doubt. I know that sharing a passion is not necessary for a good relationship, in fact, most couple that I know don't share the same passion. I even know a couple that broke up recently after a few years of marriage that were both survivalist, and at the end it didn't work....However, even reassuring me like this doesn't remove the doubt, I always feel like I miss a piece to the puzzle and I have a urge to resolve it....

Thank you for your answer, it's a relief to know that I'm not alone in this. Today have been a bad day. I really fear that the fact that I do not do many physical compulsion might indicate that I don't have ocd. So I did more physical compulsion today, especially during my bicycle ride, to prove myself that it's ocd that give me all of those intrusive tought. I also spent the entire day reading about ocd on different forum to reassure myself that I have ocd.... it didn't work, there is always this crippling tought that I might not have ocd and that these thought come from a gut feeling that I should not be with my girlfriend. My mental compulsion seem to be mostly rumination and reassurance seeking, and are not mental ritual like it used to be with my last obsession theme and it feed the doubt and I don't know what to do.... I have an appointment in 9 day with my last therapist, the one that followed me with my last obsession... meanwhile I would like to call a help line to calm down a bit, but I'm afraid that they would not be competent enough to identify my rumination as a compulsion. If they say that my concern are legitimate thought that I should break up I would be devastated....

Hi folks, I read you for many years, especially a few years ago when my ocd started and was at his worst. My first theme were pedophilia and bestiality. After a few years of therapy, I managed to get to a point where I didn't have any symptom at all. I've been symptom free for a few months until a few weeks ago when my ocd came back slowly with a new theme. Now, it is centered around my relationship. I fear that we are not meant to be together especially because we don't share the same passion. She's an an artist and I'm more around bushcraft and hiking. However, we have many things in common, we share the same political view, we are both ecologist, we both want to live off the grid in the forest, we share the same value, our personnality fit very well, we always have interesting conversation and I love to spend time with her. I admire her and love her to death. However, my intrusive tough make me afraid that we should not be together beacause of the few difference that we have. I'm crying just writing this. I don't know what to do, what I feel are my compulsion is mostly rumination and reassurance seeking that it's only odc and not a true gut feeling. It's quite different with my last obsession which my compulsion were more physical compulsion and mental ritual. Now I feel that I should let my ocd worsen to prove myself that it's really ocd because actually I have doubt thats what it is. Can compulsion be mostly rumination? I also have a few physical compulsion where I have to touch my finger in a specific way until it feels right. I don't know how to manage the rumination, how to not focus on a tought?? It seems like I can't stop thinking about it, everything that I do it's here. Do you think that it's ocd or legitimate tought that come from a gut feeling?? How do you tell the difference? I wan't to get off of this mental state, I don't want to lose my girlfriend, I love her so much!... Please help