CHU

This forum is the least affected by this in my opinion. There are other places on the internet where this certainly applies. Where you have people asking for guidance and all they get are replies from other users with the same thought/theme giving them reassurance. However the post I made certainly wasn't made for you all to give me reassurance, I just wanted to know how I get out of this cycle and not ruminate all day every day.

Yes it's just a regular discussion I read passively without partaking in it. Then OCD latches on to the comment someone made and makes me question my knowledge. If someone said something just slightly off I feel the intense need to start googeling and reassure that what the user has said is right/wrong allthough I already know the answer. In that moment it feels like I have forgotten everything about the topic in question. When I join the conversation and start replying it becomes worse because now I'm not only solving one question but multiple and it doesn't stop. It's like I'm opening Pandoras Box and most of the time I don't even know why I went on the Forum because I haven't gained anything worthwhile. And the points people bring up stick with me for weeks and months.

Hello, it's been a while since I've posted on here and I wanted to ask something. When I'm online, I frequently visit Forums and discuss things related to my hobbies and interests. This is all fine but every now and then someone says something that isn't even directed towards me and I feel the intense need to start googeling and reassure myself. In that moment OCD makes me question everything about whatever the current topic is and that user said. Some users might also intentionally post nonsensical content to bait others. Every time this happens I regret even going there. So is it better to stay away from forums and similar sites or does this count as avoidance?

Thanks for the replies @DRS1 and @howard. It's definately compulsive. The more I research the less certain I feel. I held off watching videos and reading stuff about lego for a few hours but as soon as I start doing it again, a wave of doubt and anxiety hits me. And even if I get the information I want, the certainty will quickly fade again within a few minutes. It's like OCD is pushing a reset button and my mind deletes everything I just learned. If I now stop ingaging in lego related topics it probably will turn into avoidance. So instead I will now just focus on watching videos and not reading wikis for hours. And if that urgency comes up I just switch to something else (still lego related)

Hello, it's been a while since I made my last post on here. I got something going on which I need some guidance with. Last year I got back into Lego bricks. There's something about them that's just amazing. However since I'm out of space I can't do any actual lego building at the moment. I still buy sets but leave them unoppened until I move into a larger area. The reason why I'm posting this here is because there has been something going on I can't really make sense off. As you might know Lego sets are sorted under themes. You got City, Castle, Space etc. And within those themes you have sub themes. Whenever a thought about Lego comes up I get this urgency to do research on it. So I watch videos go on wiki pages until I get an idea of it. But this urgency doesn't go away. It feels like there is no end to it. And if I don't do the research it doesn't feel right continuing. This then impacts me buying sets. Eventhough I want to get a set there is this pressure that's holding me off from buying it because I gotta do reasearch first. It sucks out all the fun and I don't know what to do. Somehow I feel this is OCD but then again I also feel curious and want to know more about the lego themes. Edit: Forgot to mention, while all this is going on I feel really dizzy.

Because I don't see any point in continuing like this. If I do something that has to be done properly and I can't concentrate than I'd rather not do it at all. If I do a leisure activity and I'm not relaxed or having fun then what's the point? Why should I ruin (and I precicely say ruin) things that I like on purpose? I would have to devalue the things I do. I would have to pick up a "don't care" mentality otherwise the OCD sees it as important. But I don't want to be like this. I don't want to do things half assed. Nor pretent like it. That's not who I am. It goes like this: 1. Do something while already feeling bad becuase of past events 2. Noise comes up. Here is the tipping point. Feel even worse, concentration goes down the drain, think about how long the noise will last - when it will stop, feel physically stunned, don't want to continue. 3. If I then continue the feelings won't go away and I'll start doing compulsions. If I don't do compulsions I'll start questioning everything and it moves into rumination. There is absolutely no way to stay concentrated in this situation. It's equal to staring at a blank wall. You could compare it to when two people are talking into your ears while you are trying to solve a mathematical calculation.

That's usually never the case. The anxiety keeps me awake no matter what and I have burning in my chest. The longest it took me to get to sleep was 5 hours. I've spent the last few weeks doing something but never what I actually wanted to do. So I'm in a constant state of avoidance. If I start doing what I want, I will start sweating even when it's quiet. My armpits get all wet and I become uncomfortable then stop halfway through. I've had several situations (like right now) where it's quiet for hours but I keep holding of doing anything because I fear some noise will interrupt me down the line and I start doing compulsions all over the place. On the otherside this saturday I got woken up early because my neighbour (once again) had to use his chainsaw for hours. I then stood up and went to bed again but it took me over an hour to get back to sleep. When you say I should change the way I think about this I'm absolutely clueless how I should do it because as you can see this situation is greatly impacting me on a daily basis. To me it doesn't really matter who is causing the noise. Be it a person, an animal or something like the train you mentioned in one of your posts. I can't cope with it. Only at night I can actually get stuff done (mostly compulsion free) but that's when I'm tired. I'm still signed up for the clinic but their full at the moment and I don't see how they could help me with this.

You're right I'm the one whos doing all of this. But I have no choice. Take sleeping for example. If I just went to bed whenever I want I will have a really bad time. The anxiety will be so bad that I won't be able to sleep for several hours, laying in my bad - ruining the next day. Or if I'm able to sleep I will be woken up by the noise after 1 or 2 hours of sleep. After that the anxiety kicks in and I can't get back to sleep. Now you're probably thinking that this is all made up and I'm just talking about potential outcomes that might happen but I'm restricting myself because I know out of expierence that this will happen. It has happened for many times and I'm just sick of it. I don't see how thinking differently will change any of this. Should I be happy or thankful that I'm not able to sleep? When I play a videogame I'm only able to enjoy it while it's quiet. If noise comes up while playing I get all nervous then start losing track, reread questtexts until giving up completely. Meanwhile I start sweating heavly which contributes me feeling uncomfortable. So I either hold off playing all thogether or only at night. If I just sat through the game while there is noise I might aswell not play it because I don't understand anything of the story - ruining the experience/fun. Again should I be thankful that my neighbour is slamming his car door 20 times a day? Having to chainsaw his wood for hours on end? Just being exposed to it doesn't make me habituate to it. It doesn't work. What should I do differently? How can I be able to enjoy the things I do without the noise or anyone disturbing me?

It's 11:30 pm. I just got in my room after being tormented the whole day by noise. Now I want get some things done but I can't. The car of my sister is parking outside which my mother will use later to drive my sister home which has gone to a party (drinking). I'm now unable to do anything because I fear the noise of the car will interrupt whatever I'm doing leading me to do checking compulsions. On top of it I'm forced to stay awake because I can't go to sleep either. What should I do? I'm literally put into chains.

I have been holding off posting because I didn't want to engage in anything OCD for a while. I wanted to give a quick rundown of how the OCD evolved and what I did against it: 2015: Start doing first compulsions. Still unaware of it. 2016: Mostly the same as 2015 but this is where the rewinding compulsion started 2017: Begin to notice weird behaviours. 2018: Here is the tipping point. I was completely absorbed in mental compulsions regarding opinions. Everytime I heard an opinion on a topic I deemed important, I started to question my own which lead me to do lots of reassurance behaviours. This is also the time when I first got into therapy. 2019: Unforuntunetly my first therapist didn't really tell me anything but gave me lots of medications. I stopped going there and quit the medication after half a year. During this time I started figuring things out on my own with the use of the internet. But the mental compulsions were still there and I was in a state of "push and pull". At the end of the year the issue with noise/people started arising. 2020: After I had issues with my healthinsurance I was able to find a new therapist. She helped me to get back on track. She adviced me to stay awake during the night and do ERP. This was the first time I was able to watch series again but there were still compulsions. Through her help I managed to track and reduce them to almost zero. But at the same time the issue with the noise became worse and I had big trouble sleeping during the day. Luckly I was able to get rid of the mental compulsions. 2021: My biggest achievement was when I was able to watch 5 series during a span of 12 weeks with almost no issues at all. Then in June an incident in my family drove me back into avoidance/rumination and suddenly things became worse again. Since then my therapist couldn't really help me. I'm now stuck in a circle where I'm either are awake during the day while being unable to do anything without compulsions, or being awake at night while getting some things done without compulsion. But then having to fear not being able to sleep during the day. For me it really doesn't matter if I do the one or the other. I don't want to continue like this. I've now applied for the clinic despite the virus but I'm still in doubt that they can help me with this.

I don't even know where to begin with this. My therapist can't help me and just wants me to go to the clinic. So I have no one to help me. I don't even know why I should go there since I'm pretty sure the people there won't help me either. Ironically enough I've learned more about OCD on the Internet than going there. It's like I have to beg her for Information. Doing more ERP won't fix this. I have to first get rid of my issue surounding noise and people. But all I do is sit in my room endure the noise but it won't get any better regardless of how long I'm exposed to it. I don't even think anymore about doing the things I want. So it's again complete avoidance which is depressing.

If I treat it as important the anxiety kicks in and I start doing compulsions. Remember when I told you that watching TV is easier? It's because I just jump into a random episode. The OCD can't latch onto it because I'm not watching it from the beginning/completely. But even then. If I continue it becomes harder and harder because suddenly I'm interested in the series and therefore take it seriously (important) So maybe it's easy in the first week of watching TV and following a series each day. But in the next week the stakes are higher which lead to more anxiety over time. I don't even care what it is or who is causing it. I just know that it makes me feel uncomfortable and it's annoying. Something I've noticed is that it isn't exactly the noise itself which is causing this issue. It has become so bad that I wait until all people in the house went to bed to do the things I want to do in peace. It's rediculous. So it's not the noise but having people around me. I desperately want to be alone. It's like someone is constantly looking over my shoulders and the noise is making me aware that there are other people around me. The noise become a problem when I want to sleep. The only way to fix this is to be awake during the day. I went to my therapist on thursday. This was the first time I left the house since october last year. I coulnd't sleep for 5 hours because I was so nourvos of going there. She couldn't really help me and advised (again) that I should go to a clinic eventhough the virus is still there and I don't want to be around people. Why did you stop doing things? Was it because the trains were annoying or did you also have this perfectionism compulsion like me? For me it's not just one source of noise but literally everything. If it's loud enough it will bother me. For example how long can you endure the noise of chainsaws? In of itself the noise chainsaws make is annoying and the longer it goes the worse I feel. I feel robbed of my time. It's too loud and I don't want to do things when it's loud. So I stop and hold off doing things. Now imagine doing this for weeks/months and you become all frantic and paranoid.

How can I respond differently? I can't live my life because of it. Even if I treat everything I do as not important it still bothers me. Just sitting in my room and enduring it feels horrible.I start sweating all over which turned into a washing compulsion. I have fear of not being able to sleep. Each day. I can lie in my bed not getting to sleep for hours or stay awake being unable to do anything. It's horrible. How can I be less angry if I can't even sleep because of it?

The noise is hindering me from living my life. I'm not able to do the things I want to do. So every time the noise is present, I'm forced to quit what I'm doing. This is why I get so angry. Because it happens all the time, gives me more OCD thoughts and literally drives me crazy. I'm not even allowed to sleep long enough. I got woken up twice last night because one of my neigbours slamed his car door. I don't want to live in a constant state of worry if I'll be able to sleep today, or get anything done. I simply can't deal with OCD compulsion and endure this on top. Of course you can say "just" continue but even if I wished I couldn't. I need someone beside me who assists me in this situation. I want to get hospitalized but 1. the virus is still a thing and 2. I fear things will get worse when I come back home because I probably will get used not being in this hellscape I call home. Edit: This evening I watched an episode and didn't rewind. I missed a few lines but I was able to deal with it. Something I've noticed is that just deciding to watch an episode give me anxiety which makes it more difficult to follow. If however I have the mindset of: "I don't care let's just watch this episode, I won't continue watching the series anyway" it becomes really easy as the desire/compulsion for completness is gone. After that I went online. Just reading reading a conversation of a group of people I'm in drove my anxiety up and urged me to ruminate. I now made the decision to leave the group (not in a compulsive way) as I don't see anything positive staying there.

No it isn't. I can't get on with my life. It's been 3 hours and this kid hasn't stopped driving his ****** RC car infront of me. I can't think clear, start sweating all over the place. It's absolutely rediculous of what I have to endure. I'd rather commit suicide than go on and live in a hell like this.