Plaguedbyocd

Don’t worry, you weren’t too blunt. Thank you for your replies

I am looking for reassurance, but I think that’s ok. We all need reassurance sometimes. This isn’t an obsession, just a question

I’ve been having awful thoughts about my family, doubting whether or not I love them and thinking about wanting things to happen to them and it’s made me feel so awful. But I also can’t get out of my head a situation I am in with the person who I think I have feelings for. But I feel like it’s terrible that I’m even thinking about that at all because it pales in comparison to these awful thoughts I’m having! Like that just shouldn’t be important right now. Am I a bad person for thinking about that too?

Thank you. This is just awful

These thoughts and interpretations come in so fast I don’t have a chance to fight them. I’m too scared to do anything. I’m too scared to do what I need to do in case it turns out that I actually feel the way I fear I do. I don’t know if I’m making sense or if anyone can relate but I’m just feeling hopeless and stuck.

Thank you. I’m so afraid that I don’t get there, that these thoughts are always going to be with me. It’s hard because when I go to do things I like (which is hard because nothing interests me right now), I get thoughts of ‘you can’t do that or something bad will happen’ and then sometimes I get an urge to do it/ when I go to do it anyway I wonder if I’m doing it because subconsciously I want something to happen. It feels like I can’t win

How long before I stop trying to prove I’m not a dog will I stop barking

I hope you’re right

I’m so worried that this isn’t ocd. I know I have ocd, I know I’m obsessing about the thoughts and ruminating so it’s ocd at work in that sense but the thoughts, I just can’t

Thank you for your answer. It’s terrifying. I know I shouldn’t be searching for answers but it’s so important to allow me to live. I don’t know how to live if these thoughts are true. I’d forever hate myself.

PS I’m really on edge, please be gentle (not that you’re not being or anything, just I’m so terrified of what you’re going to say)

It’s different for every person I suppose. Personally I don’t get offended by things like that because I know it’s ignorance. If I didn’t have ocd I would probably say I’m so ocd when I like things clean, so there’s no badness in it. But as I say if it affects you then there’s no harm in emailing.

I suppose they make me a bit less anxious. I was just hoping that feeling less anxious would mean I would be able to confidently say ‘ok those thoughts aren’t true’, but it’s not working out like that. Am I weird?

Just looking for other peoples thoughts on this

So I’m just wondering if it’s normal that even when I’m doing ‘well’, keeping my anxiety low that my intrusive thoughts are still there and it still feels no clearer?

It just feels impossible. It’s too important to ignore

And then I feel like well I can’t feel that bad because if I did then I’d be hurting myself or something

It matters to me if they are true or not

But what if they are true? I’m struggling with the guilt and shame or I don’t know of thinking that they are true. I’m afraid no one is understanding what I’m saying

The thing is that I’m doing things to drop my anxiety levels and they have dropped, but for me the thoughts are the issue because I need to know if they are true or not. I can’t cope

I fear that if I sit with it and the anxiety passes then I won’t care about what I’m thinking, like I won’t care if something bad happens.

Can anyone help

Does anyone else ever get thoughts about wanting bad things to happen to people? I’m really struggling

Hi, does anyone else feel like it’s impossible to sit with their thoughts? It is so distressing and confusing and sitting with them and not responding feels so unsettling

It sounds to me like classic ocd. Your brain is producing these thoughts which makes you react and keeps the thoughts coming. It’s the nature of the beast. Just don’t entertain the thoughts which I know is hard but it’s the way out so keep doing what you’re doing and the thoughts will loose power. You’re doing great, keep your head up.