Catfan

I think what I struggle with is the knowledge that a lot other people don’t think twice about leaving the house while ill and might go out with COVID without testing. But I, of course, can’t control everyone. Sometimes, though, it seems easier to remove myself from the equation and not go out.

Thanks for all of the advice. Unfortunately the OCD won this time. I think I let the thoughts get a bit too deep-rooted but I’m going to try and use this as a turning point.

Yes! That makes sense. I suppose I struggle to draw the line between what I can actually control and what the OCD tells me to do e.g. I can control just not going out at all on the off chance I’m carrying it. And then I’m cancelling everything, becoming unreliable, and isolating myself.

Hello! I think this might be considered reasssurance-seeking, but I’m finding it a difficult one to manoeuvre. I have contamination OCD, among others, and struggle to spread germs (and disease). I spent a bit of time with someone yesterday who I heard cough once and I’ve got it in my head that maybe they have COVID. I have a work-related event tomorrow that I could feasibly miss (I’m freelance, so it’s a lot more casual for me) that would result in my spending a long time networking in a room filled with people. I’ve spent quite a bit of today in full on panic at the idea of going (resulted in tears and a minor breakdown) because of the ‘what if I’m carrying it and pass it on’. The problem is since COVID began because of the nature of my work I haven’t had to go out much and I’m trying to get myself to events but always end up in this place of preemptively cancelling incase I have COVID. I know OCD loves uncertainty and that to fight it I need to battle the uncertainty and focus on what I can control (testing and wearing a mask where I can - I also recently had a booster jab), but I’ve stumbled across people online talking about how COVID destroyed their lives/shaming people for spreading it and causing that and that’s exactly the rhetoric the OCD uses. So when it’s something that my OCD latches on but that is also affirmed by people, I find it very hard to battle. My brain essentially tells me that if I go and pass COVID on I could unwittingly be responsible for killing someone and/or giving them long COVID. And the idea of having done that takes me to a very dark place that I would struggle to get out. I have no idea how to approach this or future events (and unfortunately at the moment I have at least one commitment a week up until December which is really stressing me out).

I think anyone who is self-aware enough to recognise the problem in the first place and address it is taking a pretty decent step towards OCD management in my book and not one to be sneered at. I agree with your points, @AnxiousAnnie and @ocdjonesy And thank you @malina, best of luck to you with your journey and I’m sure you’ll be fantastic, too.

I am UK-based, so going with advice from those with experience here. I've thought about whether I should have children at all, because of my issues, and have had many an extensive conversation along those lines. I don't approach this lightly. Thank you for the reassurance Lynz and ocdjonesy, I think I have a clearer idea of what I'm going to do moving forward as far as accessing medication and perinatal care.

Thank you all for the resources and advice. I'm going to see what I can set up with my GP and think I'm leaning towards Setraline if I do go on medication. Knowing that choosing not to deal with my mental health can also be detrimental is actually very helpful as I find it easier to do things for the benefit of someone else.

Thank you for this - I hadn’t thought about that. And to be honest it’s mostly a bunch of blogs, so nothing definite. I’ll try and approach my GP but I find it difficult to speak to them about mental health. It’s scared me away but I need to be more forthcoming.

Hello, I’m new here so apologies if I get this wrong, but I was hoping for some advice I find it difficult to get in real life. I used to be on Fluoxetine and personally found it to be hugely transformative. But due to moving/finding it difficult to get ahold of prescriptions I went off it about a year ago. Now I’m settled and myself and my husband are trying to have a child. At the same time my OCD is particularly bad. I’m feeling depressed, struggle with contamination, ruminations and past guilt to the point of just sobbing uncontrollably or else feeling frozen and unable to do anything. I wake up almost everyday with the feelings hitting me in a way that make it difficult to function. All that is to say, does anyone know where things stand with taking fluoxetine while getting pregnant or being pregnant? I was prescribed it by my doctor and mentioned we were trying so they gave me a scary disclaimer about health issues for the child. When I mentioned my concerns his response was along the lines of it being that the parent’s needs is as important as the child’s. The irony being that OCD makes it difficult for me to do this without carrying unbearable guilt for any harm I might cause the child. But equally I am worried about the implications of having a child when my brain is like this. I know from friends there is all sorts you can get obsessive about and I want to be mentally sound for them. I have thought that I could put up with 9 months of a bad brain in order to not spend the rest of my life feeling guilty over potential harm caused. But at the same time every day feels like mental torture and I’m already carrying lifelong guilt for various things. It feels often like I’m tainted and so don’t deserve anything good. I can only get around it by living for the purpose of my husband or future child both who deserve good things. When I look it up online it seems fluoxetine is safe and there’s nothing conclusive about harm caused. But other sources can be quite scary about the damage done. My husband is hugely supportive and thinks I should take medication if I want to, but it feels like the burden for the child’s well-being is on me for being the one carrying it (all hypothetical at the moment) and I’m really struggling with that.