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Simples123

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  1. Thanks all helpful as trying to navigate through it all
  2. Hi Thanks for the reply A couple of things to clarify I don't hate my child the contrary so if it came across this way then that was never intended. Also views are that we want to support the person and listen but we need boundaries too. I'm going to be frank here, as a parent of course my instinct is to protect my child and to fix things but I know I can't fix this so I don't try, I kinda let things run. I ask how they are I literally drop everything when they decide they want to talk and I'm not sure I can do anything else. To give an example of saying or doing the right thing a few years ago they told us that thought they may be bisexual. We have no issue with this and said it was a big deal to let us know but that they are still "xxxx" to us nothing changed we love them just the same. The response to this was that wasn't the right response.... I don't expect everything tk be ok in a certain time but would hope some progress. I suspect the last 2 or more years of therapy and support would have helped a bit though. I completely understand this isn't going to be cured ,it's about living alongside it and managing it in a way that works helpfully. It's not so much compulsions more thoughts. We aren't enabling compulsions but there are expectations , often saying don't say that , don't do that. I have advanced communication skills training so very mindful of what, and how I say things. I don't judge thoughts views and if I'm honest I understand that with ocd the person has to focus on them and not be concerned about others however the reality is that it absolutely does. So perhaps an acknowledgement like "I understand it affects you but I have to focus on myself " rather than "it doesn't affect you". I understand about privacy but there is no way hubby would hear as he is in a completely different part of the house and would stay away. We do have things to do as well and when that's your day off being told you have to get out is not great. Sorry if that sounds blunt , it's meant to be truthful and I hope you aren't offended
  3. Hi Not entirely sure where to start but any advice welcome. I am really struggling with this. I have an adult child in early 20's who is being treated for OCD. I am told there can't officially be a diagnosis as this needs to be a psychiatrist to do this but therapist is fairly certain. They are bright, intelligent but always had high standards, we felt put too much pressure on themself in school etc. The relationship with their partner is breaking down due to intrusive thoughts and we are trying to support as best we can but feel as though we never do or say "the right thing". They recently moved back home after living with their partner for a year and we understand this is a major change.... for everyone. The behaviour can be very challenging at times and doesn't seem to be able to accept that there is an impact on others. In fact I have been told that "this doesn't impact on me"! At times it feels as though we are only wanted when they want something and I am now trying to support them while trying to "keep a lid on things with my husband/their dad" who is almost at the end of his tether with what sometimes can be unreasonable demands. At times I think the behaviour and attitude is selfish and that's really awful to say but it is how I feel. I don't know where to draw the line. Is it ok to be asked to leave the house for an hour while therapy going on upstairs where the session would not be overheard or interrupted? I personally think that's a bit much, being restricted in our own home ? I also know therapy has been going on for months and months with little change , I don't believe medication always the answer but surely if anxiety, not sleeping etc then trying something other than just therapy may be reasonable? "If you always do what you've always done you'll always get what you've always got " They won't entertain any other thoughts views.
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