Hi
Thanks for the reply
A couple of things to clarify
I don't hate my child the contrary so if it came across this way then that was never intended. Also views are that we want to support the person and listen but we need boundaries too. I'm going to be frank here, as a parent of course my instinct is to protect my child and to fix things but I know I can't fix this so I don't try, I kinda let things run. I ask how they are I literally drop everything when they decide they want to talk and I'm not sure I can do anything else.
To give an example of saying or doing the right thing a few years ago they told us that thought they may be bisexual. We have no issue with this and said it was a big deal to let us know but that they are still "xxxx" to us nothing changed we love them just the same. The response to this was that wasn't the right response....
I don't expect everything tk be ok in a certain time but would hope some progress. I suspect the last 2 or more years of therapy and support would have helped a bit though. I completely understand this isn't going to be cured ,it's about living alongside it and managing it in a way that works helpfully.
It's not so much compulsions more thoughts. We aren't enabling compulsions but there are expectations , often saying don't say that , don't do that. I have advanced communication skills training so very mindful of what, and how I say things. I don't judge thoughts views and if I'm honest I understand that with ocd the person has to focus on them and not be concerned about others however the reality is that it absolutely does. So perhaps an acknowledgement like "I understand it affects you but I have to focus on myself " rather than "it doesn't affect you".
I understand about privacy but there is no way hubby would hear as he is in a completely different part of the house and would stay away. We do have things to do as well and when that's your day off being told you have to get out is not great.
Sorry if that sounds blunt , it's meant to be truthful and I hope you aren't offended