david el impresionante

I keep getting really weird thoughts about super disgusting things, they're not thoughts about me doing bad things or worry about something, but they are so strange I dont want to think about it at all. I hate it, it makes me feel gross and weird. How do I stop thinking them?

so today my kitten got on my lap while I was sitting on a small ottoman or whatever you call it. I sat with her for a while but eventually I had to get up, but she was still on my lap. I tried to move so she would get up and it caused her to nearly fall off the edge of the ottoman, which I was scared of. she kept getting back on my lap. eventually I just picked her up and set her down. the kitten wasn't hurt, but now I feel worried. I nearly made her fall off the edge of the ottoman and get injured. It didn't happen, but I still feel scared

a few months ago I wanted to prank a girl in my school by giving her a fright, nothing harmful, and when I did it I had a sudden thought that was "what if I raped her?" before she pushed me away, causing me to accidentally fall on top of someone else. I think after that I just got up. A few minutes later I remembered the thought I had and thought "what the hell was I thinking?" but I settled down when I decided it was probably just an intrusive thought but now I am worried did I really just have an intrusive thought or did I just commit attempted rape?

hi I'm 13, I have ocd and autism so my mom booked a summer camp for me and I said yes, feeling excited. But when I went there only then did I realize how awful it'd be the other kids I were with were all incredibly annoying, it was incredibly loud and it was all really stressful, and I have to be there all day every day for a while I've only gone there for one day, but on that one day I nearly had a meltdown when I told my mom I'm having a horrible time there, but only then did I find out that it was booked for 3 weeks and she'd spent 900 euros on it, and if I decided I wasn't going they likely wouldn't give her her money back what should I do?

last night I was in my bed and I heard thumping noises that went on for a bit. Then after a bit I heard a short scream, followed by people talking, followed by a woman yelling "OH MY GOD! GET AWAY FROM ME!" and more thumping noises that went on for a bit. I was absolutely terrified and nobody else in the house was awake. By the time I'd calmed down I went to another room and looked out the window to look at where I'd heard the noise, nobody was there. I'm scared

I don't want to kill myself, or run away from society. I just want to be a normal, happy person living a normal, happy life, but I can't do that. I can't afford therapy, and whenever I promise I'll try my best to never do anything bad again I still end up doing so. What do I do? Do I just accept that this is how I'll always be?

If they were remorseful, I would forgive them Thing is, the people I hurt don't resent me, even though at the time I didn't care about the physical or mental harm I caused even after being told I was wrong, and that's pretty alarming even if I was a child. And even though they might not express hate, I often worry that they secretly do despise me. I still feel very guilty about how badly I hurt them, even if they didn't express much anger towards me. I understand that I've been hard on myself, but I think that what's up with me is that I was indeed a very bad person in the past but I'm becoming more mature and getting better.

plus, I feel like it'd be hard to consider myself a good person if I got better and then just lived guilt-free without any consequences

I understand, but the thing is I'm a very manipulative and selfish person and I've genuinely hurt people very badly. I am maturing and getting better but I doubt my behaviour is really minor enough to just be treated like mistakes everyone makes

I will talk to a counsellor, but I'm worried that I'll be judged for what I've done

thank you, but I'm quite worried that my actions are worse than just "mess ups" I know I'm not as bad as I once was but it's still very hard to forgive myself knowing that at the time I didn't care how bad people might've been affected by what I did

so a few months ago I realized I was a horrible person. And don't tell me "you're not, you just think you are!" I really am, I've genuinely hurt many people I do want to change, but everytime I tell myself I'm going to be a new person I just end up messing up and doing something awful. I don't think I'll ever be able to change whenever I talk about how much I hate myself, I either get told not to worry about it cause I'm a kid (I'm 13) or because "someone who was really bad wouldn't care about the bad things they did" even though I didn't care about me being a bad person in the past how do I genuinely redeem myself?