cam

Hi guys So I used to take notes of my triggers alot on my phone of situations which i found out was memory hoarding and 9/10 never read them again. These were always ROCD thoughts. I have gotten better at not doing it so much but today I had a slight almost blip. I found a note / pic on my phone from last June and it has a written outline of the problem and I always sign it off as ocd of I know its BS. This note in question was around my partner again but I can't remember the exact situation fully or the outcome and my brain is desperate to speak to my partner about it and find out what happened. He was very upset at the time so I don't really want to cause him any distress again as it was so long ago and never surfaced in my head since How can I get around this please?

Sorry mate you are struggling too today. I guess on the ocd angle is if I asked him to check and saw nothing to worry about my mind will be like "what if he deleted the messages with that word in" Does that make sense?

Very true mate. We are v hungover today after I passed alot of exams Last week so we had a celebration, so I will find it extra hard not to talk about it today Do I even mention the want of him to search the word riding like I did? I appreciate your advice

He definitely understands but i don't want to hurt him or fall into a reassurance trap even though talking about it usually dissolves the issue

So not mention anything to him at all? And esp not wanting to type that word on his phone

Hi mate I totally trust him but I don't know why I need to desperately need ask to see if he has used that word in previous chats

Hi guys I am really struggling with something my mind has gone crazy over and kept me ruminating over last night and I am exhausted and really stressed with work exams Last night my partner was cooking with his mum at her house. I messaged him asking how she was and his reply was.. "She is riding me about while I prepare tea" Then corrected himself and put "ordering lol" Straight away my brain was like why has his iphone put riding and that was all it needed to twist it and sexualise it. I have a Samsung so don't know if its easier to make spelling mistakes on an iPhone etc. I went to WhatsApp and typed in riding in the search bar and there were some sexual references to the word from me in the past but nothing from him. I realllllly want him to do the same on his phone but I am scared what this could lead to with arguments of trust etc and invading his privacy. I dont know if I should even mention it again when I see him tonight. I can tell that he knows I'm triggered by it. As I mentioned it briefly later and said it was funny until I sexualised it. Why can't I get my head around this? Any advice would be appreciated

Hi all Today I re connected with a dear friend who I used to party alot with in the 90s. We havnt been in touch for 15 years or so and had alot to catchup on from our hedonistic past. I am a gay man and have never slept with a women, I have kissed girls and played about etc but never had sex. Here is where I am freaking out and I can't shake a thought of what she said to me today She was like "do you remember when there was about 5 of us at.... house and we all fooled around and you had sex with...." To which I was like no I deffo did not even though we were drunk and high I would remember this. She laughed and said maybe you did other stuff but I'm sure you had sex. I don't even remember the night in question as there were so many wild nights back then I am now trying to replay any memories from 1998 and I can't pin point this evening at all . And my brain is telling me that I am not a "straight virgin" I messaged her again saying I definitely didn't have sex with this girl and she just replied LOL I wish we never re connected now. I'm in a total panic. I don't even like this person She is talking about and no longer in contact either Help!!

I can relate to this completely

I'm with you on both!! Tbh it's rare this happens

So I feel terrible tonight, he guessed something was up and I caved and told him about todays peanut trigger and I reassured him and said its nothing i believe and that its an ocd trigger. He said he never would have added sexual value to that emoji in the 1st place and never used it before. He even showed me his recent emojis and the emoji isn't there anymore which triggered me as I saw it there a few months back "what if he deleted it?" Entered my mind. He said the other emojis are the ones he's has used recently and uses more now than before hence why the iPhone entered random ones on his list to fill it I feel terrible that he feels bad and that I don't trust him when it's actually the opposite, I trust him with all my heart. But looking at his recent emojis again has opened up more questions...grrr!

Hey, thank you for your reply. Appreciate it. Do you think I should just see that picture earlier as a "Trigger"? Even though the emoji has new context to me now than before (ejaculation) it would still be the same ocd cheating principle

Hey guys So sorry for bringing this post back from last September but the original (dealt with in my mind issue) haw re surfaced and I am panicking again. I am really ill with pneumonia atm and hasn't slept in days so I don't think that's helping matters either. I went on twitter earlier to look at local news etc. When a picture of a naked guy showed up and had the caption "come nut with me" with the emoji from how this thread started!! My brain has gone into overdrive now thinking "what if my parter was telling people to cum with him" even though I've never heard him saying the expression nut before I really want to talk to him about it bit I know it will cause distress from raking up the past again. Why has this comeback to haunt me? Any advice on how to deal with this would be amazing. Please be kind

The urge today to confess that most of the questions were ocd. Feel so bad saying I promise it's not like I'm a bad person

do you think it would be classed as guilt confessing if I told him the whole story? I did say there was ocd elements to it. Thanks for your reply

ROCD..Feel guilty in tricking my boyfriend into reassuring me Hi guys, I am having a real struggle atm and would really appreciate some advice. I've not been well the last few days after returning from an amazing holiday with my partner so my cognitive isn't working as clearly as it should. Major lack of sleep. Long story short I basically have OCD around my partner and his phone. What is he looking at etc. Is he on dating apps. To all of this I know the answer is no. I have had issues with his phone alot but it has gotten better. Anyway last night I tricked him into telling me how long he has had his Icloud account for snd said I was asking all of these questions as my friend at work has just got a new iPhone and opened a new icloud account... This is what triggered me. So I made out she was asking him for advice as I have a Samsung. He said is this for real or some kind of ocd issue and I said... oh no she wants to know... **** he sussed me out. Then asked to promise it wasn't and I said under my breath quickly and quietly I promise. To which I feel absolutely terrible for saying and it's causing me soo much distress as I love and trust him so much deep down I later said there was some triggers in the conversation and explained what they were but didn't tell him most of it was stupid thoughts from my side. I now feel like I need to confess to him that it was all a bigger trigger from my friend and I wanted to find out more. I feel like such a bad person. Do I tell him? Please help guys and I'm sorry for being a pain

Noo I meant i caught my ex cheating on his phone not my current partner. When I said caught him out a few times Thank you soo much for your advice and help and will put this into practice. Also so sorry about bumping. Had no idea about the rules or what bumping was, I was just so super anxious and thought I wasn't wanted here. Thanks for being patient

Any advice guys. Sorry to be a pain

Hey guys I had a really great day relaxing with my boyfriend yesterday until about 10pm when I saw him leave a smile emoji on a game chat. That wasn't an issue but then I looked on his screen and on the top line where it said frequently used it showed the Monkey Nuts emoji. Straight away my mind went to "oh my god he is cheating and sending guys a nuts emoji He knew something was wrong as I went quiet and was breathing heavy and felt sick. I told him as he knows my mind always goes to the worst situation (I have being cheated on ROCD) He said he never uses that emoji and has no idea why its there etc. And said he never types peanuts or nuts. But said he said on a chat a few years ago spitting peanuts to his sister which he showed me and typed It in on other chats and it never came up. So this kinda made things worse as he was desperate to try and solve this issue for me to move on. So he went on other random emojis and deleted them for an experiment and they still showed up on his more frequently used emojis even though he never used them. So he must have selected the nuts by accident in the past and deleted it. It upset him as he said my mind always takes an innocent thing and sexualises it to make him out to be the cheat when he said its the complete opposite and loves me. But my brain can't shake this off and it is going to the worst possible "What ifs" even though I know him and know in my heart he wouldn't cheat on me. I'm very insecure as my past relationship of 12 years did and I caught him out a few times from his phone Any help past this would be much appreciated

He is reallllly supportive and has been beyond patient for the last 3 years. I feel like I'm getting too much sometimes with my "what ifs' I feel if I tell him the truth of the real process then he will be upset as he point blanked asked me on the phone Was this a ruse for an ocd trigger and i said no. My anxiety is so high that I can't even remember the full line of events now

I feel absolutely terrible and so guilty atm. I came home from work and couldn't find my phone. I eventually did but in the meantime went looking in some draws in a desk where old phones and devices are kept (my partners, he never throws them) For some reason yesterday the charge cables triggered me and my ocd told me be charges them and uses them as burner devices to cheat on me (I have ROCD) and I'm scared of being cheated on as I was previously when in a 12 year relationship. As I was looking I found the box for his latest I phone and a sim card fell out. Totally panicked and tried to put the sim in my old phone to check it but it didn't work. There was also a letter enclosed stating this sim was requested If you had an upgrade etc (he went from an old IPhone to 13 so different style sims etc) So I messaged him about it and he wasn't sure what that sim was in the box and eventually worked it out. He phoned as he could tell I was having an ocd issue and asked if my lost phone story was a ruse to talk about this sim issue and i said no I lost it and found it in my work bag. This isn't true it was under the carrier bag and I made out I was looking for another device to call the "lost one" I feel shocking for stretching the truth as basically ocd got the better of me again and I feel like a terrible person and I should tell him the truth when I see him tomorrow but i don't know how he will react to the news. What should I do guys?

So basically my ocd mainly revolves around my partner and his phone. I was cheated on in a previous relationship of 12 years by my ex cyber sexing and camming guys. This ended 3 years ago but it has still caused me alot of damage and issues with trust with my amazing partner. He understands what happened and is very supportive but I do know this grinds him down. Alot of the time when I see my partner go on his phone I ask what he's doing and my mind even makes up what I saw and then he shows me. Make out he's on dating sites etc He knows his mobile is a massive trigger so to calm my mind he keeps it in the same room I'm in when he is in the shower/ bathroom which I know he really doesn't have to do. So yesterday we were both playing a mobile game together and he went to the kitchen to make lunch and took his phone with him . I went out there to help and said "are you waiting for a message?" Or something like that. He came back into the lounge and asked if I brought the phone out to him as he doesn't even remember taking it with him. He said it must have been in hand when he got up and went into the kitchen. Then later said jokingly that he is free to take his phone wherever he wants which I know is true. But my mind is twisting it now to "what if he was talking to a guy, or on a dating site" When I know deep down he took it on autopilot Should I see this as exposure?? And how not to over think it

Is this a common form of OCD? I'm still freaking out and trying to look for evidence if anything happening. I even voice noted my boyfriend when I got into bed as he was at his mums telling him how ill I felt. Surely if I did something wrong I would have said as confessing and guilt is a big part of my ocd. This is a nightmare

Is this what is classed as false memory OCD? (Inolves alcohol) Hi guys, I am having a very difficult time with filling in the gaps from a night out on sat. I rarely go out on pub crawls anymore cos I hate the side effects for next few days. I stupidly mixed my drinks and don't remember anything of the cab journey home. My friend said she put me in the back seat of the cab and I went home. My mind is telling me I slept with the cab driver and cheated on my partner and I've probably contracted hiv!! As soon as I got in I went for a shower (felt dirty from the pubs) and fell in the bath and it took me ages to get up and out. I can remember this incident clearly but not the taxi. Is the ocd just trying to mess with me and fill in it's own narrative? Never had this before

I totally get that. We were both in 12 year relationships before we met (spooky I know) and I got cheated on at the end so I know where my trust issues come from. My partner would never cheat on me as he knows what we have both been through and I know this deep in my heart. I wish I could listen to that instead of my head when situations like this arrise