Start again

[Guest tinkerbelle]

Thanks everyone for all your help and advice. Have decided to re-think everything and take a lot of your advice on board. Yes I have let things get me down and have been getting depressed without knowing it. I must try to keep positive as it does make a difference to everyone, seems when I get down and exhausted everyone else feels worse. I will look after myself better and get some time away when I can even if its just going to see my mum for a couple of hours. My daughter is ok on her own for a short while and says she appreciates the time to herself. Maybe I can get a part time job for a few hours a week. The social services are coming to do a carers assesment next week , I dont hold out much hope for change but we will see. Think that time will tell. One thing though I have learnt from this site is that the biggest mistake I made is giving in to the ocd. I have probably made it worse and made it last longer by agreeing to participate in all the unreasonable demands my daughter feels she needs. Now she is weary of the ocd ruining her life it is time to be firm and make her face up to her problem as it wont suddenly dissapear by itself. Igot down to rock bottom and found this site thank goodness, now I will pick myself up, and start again more positive, However long it takes. I love my daughter and byhook or by crook we are going to beat this one way or another. We will support her but not be frightened of this ocd any more. I dont know what decision she will make about her hair but it will be hers and she will either be happy or sad. Anyway it will grow back eventually. It may be hard at first to change things around but we all have to learn and it can be easy or hard, in my case its been the hard way. I refuse to let this ocd ruin our lives any longer, and if do go down it wont be for not trying. We will put everything behind us now and begin again, call it a learning curve, and not make the same mistakes again. When my daughter was born she fought to live, fought to overcome disability, fought to go to mainstream school, fought to be like her peers, fought to gain 6 gcse's and 3 as levels.She got tired of fighting. Now I will carry on fighting for her to get better and live the life she deserves.. HAPPY.

Thanks again to everyone who replied to my posts, you have been very helpful, and I will try to find my way around the site so I can reply but it might take a few days.

I will keep in touch with progress.Thanks for listening, it helps to talk to someone.

Love tinkerbelle .

ps." Hope" is the one thing we all have that nobody can take away exept ourselves.

[Guest tangoblu]

That's great tinkerbelle

Sometimes it takes getting to "rock bottom" before we realise how bad things have got - good luck with looking for a job and keep us posted!

I love my daughter and byhook or by crook we are going to beat this one way or another. We will support her but not be frightened of this ocd any more

This is so encouraging and your attitude is such a positive one - it is hard to be positive all the time but I try to focus on the good days and enjoy them as much as I can - tryign to remain strong (in body and mind) for the hard times is the way forward but don't beat yourself up - you are doing all you can and the best you can.

Sending you a big hug

Pam

[Guest tinkerbelle]

Thanks everyone for all your help and advice. Have decided to re-think everything and take a lot of your advice on board. Yes I have let things get me down  and have been getting depressed without knowing it. I must try to keep positive as it does make a difference to everyone,  seems when I get down and exhausted everyone else feels worse. I will look after myself better and get some time away when I can even if its just going to see my mum for a couple of hours. My daughter is ok on her own for a short while and says she appreciates the time to herself. Maybe I can get a part time job for a few hours a week. The social services are coming to do a carers assesment next week , I dont hold out much hope for change but we will see. Think that time will tell. One thing though  I have learnt from this site is that the biggest mistake I made is giving in to the ocd. I have probably made it worse and made it last longer by agreeing to participate in all the unreasonable demands my daughter feels she needs.  Now she is weary of the ocd ruining her life it is time to be firm and make her face up to her problem as it wont suddenly dissapear by itself. Igot down to rock bottom and found this site thank goodness, now I will pick myself up, and start again more positive, However long it takes.  I love my daughter and byhook or by crook we are going to beat this one way or another. We will support her but not be frightened of this ocd any more.  I dont know what decision she will make about her hair but it will be hers and she will either be happy or sad. Anyway it will grow back eventually. It may be hard at first to change things around but we all have to learn and it can be easy or hard, in my case its been the hard way. I refuse to let this ocd ruin our lives any longer, and if do go down it wont be for not trying.  We will put everything behind us now and begin again, call it a learning curve, and not make the same mistakes again. When my daughter was born she fought to live, fought to overcome disability, fought to go to mainstream school, fought to be like her peers, fought to gain 6 gcse's and 3 as levels.She got tired of fighting. Now I will carry on fighting for her to get better and live the life she deserves.. HAPPY.

Thanks again to everyone who replied to my posts, you have been very helpful, and I will try to find my way around the site so I can reply but it might take a few days.

I will keep in touch with progress.Thanks for listening, it helps to talk to someone.

Love tinkerbelle .

ps." Hope" is the one thing we all have that nobody can take away exept ourselves.

28244[/snapback]

Hi tinkerbelle :crybaby: ,just want to say what great determination you have and keeping positive will help to battle the ocd out!!!!! Feel free to post here anytime,and it sounds like your daughter has a very special mum to help her battle against the ocd!!!! We will help and support you all we can!!!!Stay strong!!!!Take care.

Love ittykxxx :crybaby:

28256[/snapback]

Hi.

Thanks for replying. Dontknow if you will get this reply as I am still notsure about using the site yet.

Thought I would send an update.

My daughter has spent the last few days ritual free by choice. She says it feels a bit strange but peaceful. She was so sick of the rituals. Now she just wants time to adjust naturally. Her hair problem will have to wait as she is not yetready to deal with it. When she feels she is readyto have it cut off then we will deal with it.

Wetalked a lot and I told her that all through this, on reflection, shehasstuckout forwhat she feels isright for her and although at times it has been so hard, I truly believe she has been right all along. Right in refusing medication after the initial prescription and side effects . Right in refusing admission to hospitals, right in believing her family would never let her be taken to hospital nomatter how bad it got. Right in insisting to be taken seriously and listened to nomatter howbizzare her thoughts were, and right to insist on being left to work this through by herself with her family supporting her. She is rehabilitating herself slowly at her ownpace and Thank God I think I can finally see my daughter coming back (if you know what I mean).

Sometimes I felt like I was doing nothing, but I was there, and I listened. Sometimes I listened all day for many days, no housework got done, no shopping, cleaning etc. Holidays were out of the question, we wouldnt go away without her and she wasnt up to holidays. She just wanted to be at home, safe, with her family and familiar surroundings.

Various visits to private therapists (cbt, councillors, community support workers etc,) didnt work because as my daughter said"They heard but didnt listen".It seems to me that if people are not "text book" cases nobody knows what to do to help.

Anyway, my daughter is happy.

She can have as much time as she wants to get better herself and be in control of her own life. We promised her we will always be here for her and support her (as we did 5years ago). Yes, she does get depressed but until she is ready to go out and trust people again she has us to help.

Remember, the gp said last week "there is nothing wrong with her mind". She had a good discussion with him about his universitydays and the life of some historical characters and hewas very impressed. He said it was me who needed a break.

Anyway, I have decided I dont want a break, all I want is to see this through and get my daughter fully better. I am no quitter. Many times I felt enough was enough but then I put myself in my daughters shoes and knew instictively she was right in her wishes for dealing with this. Funnily enough a thought occurred to me that this whole incident started off when she was preparing to leave secondaryschool, and during the summer holidays the ocd began. The change was ahuge emotional adjustment for her, she was leaving a secure environment that she had been in for 5 years and going out into the big wide world, which she wasnt ready for. She started college and it was so different from what she was used to bear in mind she had her disability to cope with too, and she wasnt "streetwise" or went clubbing or partying as she never got friends who could cope with her disability to experience these things. Then there was the pressure of exams every 3 months. Looking back its no wonder she burnt out. May I add here this was my daughters choice, we never put any pressure on her. Unfortunateley the support she got from college was minimal.

Finally,I know now that it is only time, patience, love, understanding,and an inner strength that we dont know we have until circumstances force us to give everything else up and focus on the things that we love most of all, regardless of our own wants and needs, that makes us understand the hell and overcome the debilitating clutches of ocd. I know we have a long way to go yet and there will probably be more setbacks but i have seen my daughter "come back" to me and whatever it takes we will overcome, together, this learning curve.

Thanks for listening to me, it does help to be able to talk to someone andbe able to let my feelings out. Sorry to waffle on.

I applied for a part time job today, just a couple of hours in the evenings after my husband gets home. Wish me luck.

Love Tinkerbelle.

[Guest tangoblu]

Hi Tinkerbelle

Good luck with the part-time job and again so glad to hear that things are looking and feeling more positive for you all

Take care

Pam

[Guest tinkerbelle]

Hi Tinkerbelle

Good luck with the part-time job and again so glad to hear that things are looking and feeling more positive for you all 

Take care

Pam

28559[/snapback]

Hi,

Thanks for replying. Just a quick note to say thankgoodness another day free from ocd. My daughter is adjusting well and feels so much happier without all the rituals. She feels free and in control and is enjoying it. Lets pray that this will continue and at long last we can all enjoy some normality. Its been a long hard road but perhaps now the end is insight and the ocd is being beaten.

Best wishes

Tinkerbelle

[Rose]

Hi Tinkerbelle

Good luck with the job. Hope things go well with your daughter - keep fighting!

Best wishes

Rose