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Imhotep

Bulletin Board User
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    285
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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Violent/Harmful

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  • Gender
    Male

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  1. Hi all, I was wondering how best to tackle this obstacle regarding what happens after you respond to an intrusive thought. At the moment, I'm at a stage where my anxiety is quite low regarding the thoughts. However, I get a wave of guilt and shame about so easily dismissing the thoughts. It's definitely OCD at play, implying that I'm not trying hard enough to be rid of the thoughts. Any advice regarding this?
  2. Well why not try it out? Believe as if you have OCD and work through the appropriate treatment options. CBT, ERP, mindfulness, etc. There's nothing to say that the OCD has the final word. If it fights back, stand your ground, you are in charge of the situation and the meanings you can provide, not the OCD. It feeds off your doubts and fears.
  3. That's me right now! This is probably my fifth relapse, and as frustrating as it is, I've learned a lot this time round. There were points when I was better when I nearly threw out my notes, so glad I didn't. Before the pandemic, I was absolutely fine. Then stresses of the situation made my anxiety worse and brought back old obsessions. I reacted the wrong way and am now trying to get back to 'normal' using old and new techniques, implementing far more ERP than I've done before.
  4. I've had this exact situation too, Bob. Not at the time, but I remember hearing kids outside whilst I was horny, and thought should I masturbate despite the noises? In the end I did, full well knowing my focus was on my girlfriend. At that point of my life, I wasn't OCD at all! So even without the ruminations and compulsions, I still had that question mark of acceptability.
  5. Have you tried facing up to the OCD? Rather than becoming frightened everytime the same thought or similar thoughts pop up, how about not responding? Honestly, OCD can be scary, but in reality it's like a load of hot air. Say for 5 mins, try not to react to thoughts. Your anxiety will increase, but it will subside gradually. Try not to push the thoughts away, let them 'float' pass. You can see them for what they are. If you haven't already done so, get yourself some self help books on OCD. You're clearly not a terrible person, considering how upset you sound. Go easy on yourself.
  6. Yes, you must soldier on. Unfortunately it is not a quick fix. But take the positives from each day, like "I had a clear head for 10 mins" etc. Speaking to my therapist, recovery is not a smooth slope. Also not to offer reassurance but knowing how you react to these thoughts indicates that you are extremely, extremely unlikely to have done what the thoughts say you've done. I'm dealing with a similar problem, so you're not alone. However, as distressing as the content is, it's just fluff in the brain, not to be investigated.
  7. Well I'm fortunate that I'm working from home, and wasn't too busy, so I was able to pump through a lot, like 2 hours worth. Granted, I have a headache now, but you definitely start to feel better from about 5 to 10 mins into it, you just got to ride out the false alarms your brain is sending you.
  8. To give you encouragement, I've been doing a lot of ERP today, and feel so much better for it. I let all my nasty horrific thoughts go pass without much attention, eventually my mind wandered on to more normal topics! But being aware not to engage in compulsions: interacting with the thought, questioning it, judging it, allowing any anxiety to pass. You can do it to ANY unpleasant thought as well.
  9. As much as you hate writing that, I and others on the forum do not judge you for that. They are just thoughts. By being here and writing that down shows that these thoughts are not you or things you could have done. Treat it as OCD, and be kinder to yourself, where you are not the problem, but ypu have a problem you are tackling.
  10. Hi, ERP is hard, but trust me it gets easier the more you do. Also shows how worthless the thoughts are. It takes courage to even begin. Keep going!
  11. Hi all, I'm finding this quite tricky to manoeuvre around. I know it's OCD and I know I didn't do something appalling, but I have strong senses of guilt around the thought. I'm also scared about how this will affect my memory, like installing a false memory of an action related to the thought. Any advice? ERP?
  12. Hi there, Sorry you are struggling, but you are right, you shouldn't be analysing the thoughts. I think after 15 years of this theme, you know how the OCD works to trick you into having these thoughts. You need to stand up to these thoughts, by not performing compulsions such as looking up info on the internet. Clearly it's attacking what you hold dear: the idea of being a loving mother. I get it, I know I'd be a great dad someday, but OCD latches on to that to make me a monster that I know I'm not. Challenge the OCD. It feeds off your fear and insecurities. You are not obliga
  13. I thought as much, thanks for your input guys 👍
  14. Hi all, I've made good progress recently in terms of managing my anxiety levels, using mindfulness techniques. However a stumbling block is the content of the thoughts. They are very nasty and disgusting, extremely inappropriate. I'm concerned that I won't be able to forgive myself, or should forgive myself at all. My mind ran away with a terrible idea, and made it really unpleasant. I couldn't help it, but feel ashamed all the same. I think there may be some perfectionism at play here, but morally I'm very annoyed at myself. I see myself as a pretty normal guy, no weird fetis
  15. The fact you are looking for reassurance that you are not your worst nightmare indicates to me that you feel guilt over the thoughts, part of an OCD compulsion. As Polar Bear stated, these are intrusive thoughts, and if left alone to pass without judgment or attachment, your anxious feelings will subside and the 'normal' you will come out the other side.
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