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Stuyp89

Bulletin Board User
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Everything posted by Stuyp89

  1. Can't say I've ever heard of this before because as you say it does sound like a seizure of some kind. I know if I become suddenly stressed by something it's almost like i go into an almost delayed kind of shock. I feel like 'i'm sinking into myself' if that makes sense? Everything around me seems to go a bit distant like sounds become quieter, vision goes blurry, you don't really have any kind of attention span and everything feels like a bit of a blur. Though I imagine this is just a normal response to stress.
  2. Yeah just to confirm...I also do this, though not all the time... Sometimes I go ghostly white others I flush bright red.
  3. Hi all, Hope this doesn't sound too strange a question..but does anyone else find if they are having an obsession and then get hot the obsession gets worse? I've noticed this is for years with both obsessions but also with depression. I like a hot bath to relax but if I'm in in the midst of either of those I have to make it a quick one because for some reason heat makes them 10x worse...only temporarily though as soon as I cool down it gets better, well goes back to what it was like before been in a hot bath.
  4. Hi Lily, Yeah I also count things in my head. Especially street lights for some reason. Like each street light equals 3...the length of the light is 1 the length at the top that holds the light is 2 and the light itself is 3. Daft I know but I've always done it and I'll count them till I reach a 'solid' number... That could be 15 or 30 or 500 lol
  5. Thanks for replying people. Ashley I'd love to think being OCD free were possible but I feel as if the older I get the worse the obsessions become. Though I must admit to becoming somewhat wiser about dealing with them. I've realised you simply cannot reason with them that's for sure all it will throw up in return to any mental argument is "yeah...but what if" and then you get caught in an endless cycle of futile ruminations. I've also realised the importance of keeping myself as healthy as possible... Alcohol, lack of sleep (especially lack of sleep) stress, illness always seem to make me vulnerable to having an obsession - like 90% of my obsessions occur when I'm run down. It's a monumental pain in the backside. I just wish scientists would hurry up and come up with a cure
  6. Hi all. Been a while since I've been on here so hope you are all coping. I just wondered does anyone ever look back at their childhood and think 'maybe I was always destined to end up this way?' I ask because I was looking for clues on my own that may of suggested I was going to end up this way and I remember a really random yet terrifying fear I used to have about getting diarrhea. When I did get it I was filled with the fear of god..like I was fatally ill. I also remember a boy in my class got it once..just once and I spent the next 6 years avoiding him! On break times I would watch to see where he was so I could be on the opposite side of the play yard. This sounds ridiculous now and I feel as though I acted a bit cruel towards him ( we were never really friends or anything and I was never nasty to him or mentioned it ) but I can't help but think was that just the taste of things to come? Does anyone else have hints like this? Was this the beginnings of OCD?
  7. Hey guys and girls, i haven't been on here in ages since my mind has been thankfully quite quiet for months. But i can feel the obsessions slowly returning and it's scaring the hell out me worrying about how bad it 'might' get. i've had the occasional intrusive thought usually when handling cutlery i get horrendous images that tbh i cannot even bring myself to write down. But my main worry at the moment is the fear of my boiler exploding. Everytime it's on i get at least one sudden and random image of a loud bang and a massive wall of fire engulfing my flat, like i can actually visualise it happening vividly. At times i've started to think about giving up my home and moving back in with a family member, though they don't know about these thoughts. Also over the past few weeks i've been trying to quit smoking, i did smoke 25 a day but using patches i've got it down to an occasional cigarette every couple of days. However the first week or so of trying to quit i fell into a deep depression and my intrusive thoughts were relentless, it was like i'd lost a limb or something, i feel like i need an addiction, like i need some kind or 'hit' to get me through the day and when the horrible thoughts start my attempt at quitting just goes straight out the window
  8. Hey all, For about the last 8-9 months I've been feeling pretty fine. Hardly any intrusive thoughts at all and even the ones that I did get were actually manageable. But as of late they are slowly coming back. The other week I was out walking with my friend and I kept getting these, what I can only describe as, urges, to kiss her. Not in an affectionate way. It was a bit weird and a bit unnerving but I managed to get thru it. Today I went for a walk with my dad along the beach and the pier and I started getting thoughts of jumping off the pier and then throwing my dad off as well. I've been suffering from depression lately also so maybe this has triggered it all off again. But I'm just so frustrated because I thought it was gone for good this time.
  9. Alright mate, I can sympathise with that. Sometimes if I'm relaxed or having a good time I feel like I'm forgetting something. I remember once a while ago I'd felt relaxed for weeks with no obsessions or anything and then I actually started to worry that my body was relaxing too much and thought it would just...shut down or something. Which is ridiculous but of course it got me back to my normal anxious state.
  10. Thanks for the reply mate. I actually chuckled when you said if you won the lottery you would leave when winter comes because I've said the EXACT same thing to my family for years, that If I won the lottery I would never see winter ever again. I've tried vitamin D tablets and cod liver oil tablets (the cod liver oil did actually help a little.) and I know they're bad for you but I do tend to use sunbeds during the winter, not so much for the tanning (though that is a plus) but because I always feel better when I come out, I dunno if this is because of the vitamin D your skin makes when exposed to UV rays. But I'm interested in those SAD lamps so might ask my GP about where to get them. Thanks again, Stuy
  11. Hey all, I'm starting to get really anxious now that the days are getting shorter. I had a really rough time from about December last year till May this year and gradually all my anxieties started to fade away or became bearable. I even felt blessed because I was going weeks at a time with little to no obsessions at all it was such a relief and I even managed to put some weight on (which I find hard to do as it falls off me very quickly when I'm down.) But I'm getting down about the prospect of constant dark nights for the next 5-6 months and I'm worried I won''t be able to cope when the obsessions and constant depressed mood comes back. I really don't want to take anti-depressants because, well I just don't. Does anyone know if the NHS offers any other kind of therapy to help with this?
  12. Hi all, Hope you's are all well. I just wondered if anyone has had any success with cod liver oil? I've been taking 1000mg capsules (1 a day) for the past week and I've had little to no intrusive thoughts what so ever and my mood has been really good too I've also quit my 10-15 cups of tea a day in exchange for the caffeine free rooibos tea so I dunno if it's the cod liver oil, the lack of caffeine or a combination of both but it's working (for the time being)
  13. I've been worrying a lot lately about how my 'condition' seems to be getting worse and how that may effect my future. I'm 24 and have only had my own home for just over a year, I work full time and live with my younger brother (he's 20) and is currently out of work. I'm finding work extremely difficult because I can't go a single day without spending at least an hour or two having horrible obsessive thoughts whilst there. I've had quite a lot of time off over the last year and had numerous disciplinarys because of it and I'm beginning to find working full time unbearable. I know if I asked and explained my situation at work they would probably let me go part-time but it's more the financial side i'd struggle with. Does anyone know whether I'd be able to claim benefits to help top my wages up if I were forced to go part time? Thanks
  14. After days of being stuck in what I can only describe as a mental hell,the current obsession seems to of suddenly stopped, I know this is probably only a temporary thing and I'm worried it's going to come back at any second because to be honest it was an awful obsession (well they all are aren't they.) Do other people experience this? Brief moments when their obsessions suddenly disappear? Thanks, Stuy
  15. Does anyone else think that the recent Channel 4 series, Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners, is in a way exploiting people with OCD? I know those who took part obviously chose to take part but I just couldn't get over the idea that these people were in someway being exploited for the sake of some second rate listings filler. And not to mention the fact that once again OCD was potrayed as some kind of funny little eccentricity. Has their been any complaints made (and actually how do you make a complaint to Channel 4?) Also remember briefly seeing something on here a while ago about some more documentaries being made? Is that true and when are they on? Cheers.
  16. Cheers mate, appreciate it :original: It's strange because a while ago I remember thinking (in desperation) 'God bring back the cancer, HIV, MS worries anything but this.' and then a week or so later I became terrified I had lung cancer. I know each obsessions comes and goes at different times and I know this one will also eventually go it's just the thought of having this forever going from one obsessions to another with little respite in between frustrates the hell out of me
  17. I know this may sound stupid but I do miss the 'good old days' when my anxieties were only health related. Now it seems almost everything sends me into a downward spiral of constant panic. I thought I was getting better, the obsessions were lasting no longer than a hour a day as opposed to all day long. I had a great weekend practically no obsessions at all and even when a thought did pop up I could actually see it for what it was and shrug it off . Now it's building back up and I feel like I'm back to square one constantly thinking about thinking on all different kinds of rubbish. At the moment it's harm ocd and worrying I'm a sociopath or rather that I might one day go completely insane and become a sociopath. I'm just fed up of this constant on/off battle getting better and building my hopes up only to be struck back down. It's not fair.
  18. I know this isn't nearly as bad as some other people's problems on here but I really am terrified of touching certain chemicals. At the moment I need to buy some bleach but I keep worrying that if I pick up the bottle some of the bleach may of run down the outside of the bottle when it was made and that when I use it I won't wash my hands enough to get it off, which I know is ridiculous I also need to re-gloss my doors in my flat but last time I did that I was nearly in tears because I knew I would have to use turps to get gloss off my hands then I would spend at least 10-15 minutes each time washing my hands to make sure there was no turps 'secretly' clinging onto my skin. How on Earth do you get over that? Exposure seems impossible since there are chemicals that anyone would wash after using but how can you be sure it's off?
  19. Ulcers are usually a sign you're run down, maybe because of the stress of living with ocd? Try and get a bit more sleep and eat plenty of fruit and veg should help.
  20. Ah there amazing those moments of clarity, like for a while the black clouds have separated and the sun is out, like you're back to normality. But yes they are sometimes fleeting. When I'm in the darkest of the dark and it's got me pinned to the floor with terror I just try and remember that I will get one of them moments and that I've been here before and eventually, though it might take time, will go away again.
  21. I can also relate and I hate the way the media seems to think OCD is all about cleaning, like we actually enjoy it? Oh yeah I scrub my hands till their burning red in extremely hot water with soap then hand wash six or seven times because it's how I roll :original: , not because I'm terrified if I don't there'll be a single germ that'll multiply and spread all over my house and eventually make severely ill, probably even die! A few years ago I became obsessed with the Large Hadron Collider experiment and my workmate talked about it day after day months before it began even though I told her not too (that was partially my fault I did tend to laugh with her then say stop. I should of been more serious.) But when I did eventually be serious with her and said it was making me really anxious she just said 'Can you not just tell the anxiety to go away?' That was quite upsetting actually, the fact I'd been a neurotic mess for months spending every waking hour worrying. If I could of 'telt it to go away.' I think I would of. I suppose really we too have to be empathetic to those who don't understand it because it is a complicated and sometimes bizarre disorder. Some of my past obsessions when I look back at them now and they don't bother me I think, Christ what was all that about, how the hell did my mind conjure that up??? So we too have to learn how to explain it better than the poor media attempts so far have.
  22. I've noticed having this kind of attitude to the intrusive thoughts really does work. every time a What if thought pops into me head, no matter how terrible it makes me feel I force myself to counter think with a kind of 'bring it on' attitude. At first it can make the thoughts overwhelming but then just carrying on with 'So what, if?' again and again does make the thoughts eventually stop. Anyone else tried this and found it helped
  23. Does anyone else seem to have more frequent and 'worse' obsessions during the winter period? I'm not sure if this has something to do with SAD but every winter I find my obsessions become non stop and even more extreme than during spring, summer and autumn. I've had a really bad season this time around I even came very close to having myself sectioned a few times it got that bad and bizarre. Thankfully it's starting to ease off slightly and the obsessions aren't lasting as long as they were a month or two ago but I'm already worried about next year's winter coming round because I know I'll be in a right state again.
  24. I just feel so overwhelmed by the relentless thinking and analysing about everything all day long. It never ever stops. I just want to be back to normal and be able to just get on with things without days wasted dwelling and ruminating. Can it really be overcome Has anyone overcome it and no longer suffers from these horrid soul destroying intrusive thoughts???? (I'm sorry if I've asked this before but I'm pretty desperate at the moment.)
  25. Hey Lucylia, I can totally relate to your problem. I also have on/off obsessions revolving 'that kinda issue' (sorry but I can't say that word) I get groinal responses too and sometimes they last all day which makes me miserable and I have also masterbated just to try and get rid of the horrible feeling. It doesn't work and I think it's more of a compulsion type thing because you do it purely to get rid of the obsession not because you enjoy these thoughts at all. So you're not a evil person or anything like that. It will fade as time goes on. The only thing I can suggest is everytime the thoughts pop up without dwelling on them too much just say to them 'Yeah yeah' and carry on doing what you were doing before hand. I think the more you resist them the stronger they become. Sorry I couldn't be of more help.
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