PolarBear

16 minutes ago, Handy said:

Howard, I'm learning regular cleaning. This is 15 minutes a day & once a week longer. Clean wharf used right away.  It's how people keep clean houses.

I know a gal that has OCD cleaning & has a cleaning business. I said, you do your compulsions all day & she said, yes, & get paid for it.  

That is such a stereotype. OCD is a debilitating mental disorder, not a business venture.

Many, many sufferers report that real life stress worsens their OCD symptoms. It sure did for me. 

34 minutes ago, howard said:

I think that's the standard ocd response but I disagree. Cleaning, organizing and symmetry whether it's in our local environment or in our lives generally can make us feel comfortable. It's all a matter of degree.

The OP's three hour sessions are probably too much but it depends on factors like size of property, amount of possessions, state of cleanliness, etc.

I can pretty much deep clean a normal sized room in about an hour and being organised and having some symmetry makes me feel comfortable long term. 

The difference, howard, is that you likely get a sense of satisfaction from your cleaning and order, while any satisfaction for an OCD sufferer is fleeting. Soon obsessions arise and what was done is no longer good enough.

OCD compulsions can include cleaning, organizing and symmetry. As with any other compulsion, these only lead to temporary relief.

If you were a non-OCD sufferer, you wouldn't think up detailed scenarios. Those are compulsions. They do no good. They keep you trapped right where you are.

The good news is that you don't have to think of the scenarios, test your reactions and analyze. You don't need to do it. You will be fine without doing that. In fact, the only way out of your current misery is to become okay with not doing it and then working to stop doing it.

On 14/04/2024 at 14:30, floods said:

But do I, though? Or have I accurately (and rationally) noted a real, genuine and present threat, one that I am right to feel so terrified of? That is the trouble each time - this way of looking at things feels just as likely as yours

 

I guess because the consequences are terrifying. I'm going to respond with OCD because if this thought represents true reality the consequences would be intolerable. I'd need to never come into contact with my loved ones again. Life wouldn't be worth living. I'd rather live a life of OCD than put them in such danger.

 

Once again this all boils down to - is my fire alarm going off because I have OCD, or is my alarm going off because I am distressed by a legitimate risk/danger/truth? - and I never, ever know how to answer that question.

One of the hallmarks of OCD is a deep desire to find certainty. That's what you want: to be certain that this is OCD.

Guess what? You can't have it. OCD will love it if you keep doing what you are doing, searching for certainty, BUT it won't let you be certain. If you wait until you are certain before treating this as OCD, you will never get past this. 

You don't. One of the hallmarks of OCD is the search for certainty. You search for it, looking for evidence and wracking your brain, but it's never enough. You just go round and round in your head.

OCD won't let you be certain about an obsession. The only way out is to stop looking for certainty. Know what your compulsions are and work at stopping them. Get your mind onto other things.

My advice, delete all the notes. You don't need them.

You made a list of things that trigger you. Reading the list you got triggered. How does that help at all? 

Moving forward means leaving OCD behind. Don't take any bit of OCD with you in the future. 

2 hours ago, floods said:

Is that months of work without any relief from the anxiety?  or will there be some better periods? I’m struggling to motivate myself to do months of strong anxiety

 

 

You are going to be anxious without trying to get better, with no end in sight. Might as well be anxious and working on getting better.

Snowbear is so right. The more you leave OCD alone, the better you'll feel. 

Three days won't cut it. You need months under your belt of ignoring the thoughts, abstaining from compulsions, changing your thinking and some good ERP.

Is there a book that defines rules about when are appropriate times for private time? I haven't heard of it.

Sounds like you need to take care of yourself. Eat properly, get plenty of sleep, exercise, relax.

If meds helped you before, it is no surprise that your symptoms are returning after stopping the meds. In addition, it is normal to feel agitated after stopping meds.

Most people, when coming off meds, wean themselves, slowly reducing the dosage. That should only be done under a doctor's supervision.

16 hours ago, Chris1987 said:

I do not believe that this is OCD, but then again, OCD can manifest in different ways in different individuals, so it is possible that it could be.

 

In essence, anxiety comes on suddenly, without any apparent reason. The thoughts that accompany it are distressing and frightening.

 

I do not believe that I do anything to try to get rid of these thoughts and feelings, as there is nothing that I can do. I simply endure them and continue on with my life. The only thing that I do is inform my partner whenever this happens.

What goes on in your head when this happens? 

This is usually called false memory OCD. You experience obsessions that, during a night of drinking, you did unspeakable things or someone did unspeakable things to you.

All the steps you took after getting these stops were compulsions, did n good, and actually made your situation worse. Do your best to stop doing these things. Stop trying to figure out what happened.  I know you have an incredible urge to figure it out, but no good will come of it. The only way this will go away is you leave it alone.

I've been around for 10 years and have never heard of anyone trying or having success with egg white powder.

Sounds like OCD to me. The question is, can you figure out compulsions that you are doing? Like, do you try to answer the questions in your head?

Chances are you are still doing some sort of compulsion, which feeds the obsessions and round and round you go.

Chris, it sounds like your OCD has latched onto something new. This happens. As you said, your old obsession is no longer top of mind. Now your focus is on your mental health.

Sound about right?

Hi floods. It is very, very common for sufferers to feel their worries are real and not OCD. Some sufferers have what is called good insight. That means they recognize their fears are likely blown out of proportion. Poor insight is the opposite. You have poor insight. It's not a bad thing. Sufferers belong in one camp or the other or even in between. 

About anxiety. I know it feels real. That's because it is! Anxiety is anxiety. There are no such things as real anxiety and fake anxiety. The anxiety you feel when you get the thoughts (obsessions) is exactly the same as the anxiety you would feel  if you were out for a walk and you suddenly see a lion six feet in front of you.

The problem is that there is a part of the brain that basically malfunctions in sufferers and it sends out the anxiety signal at inappropriate times, specifically when you experience an obsession. In my view, it is this jolt of anxiety (or disgust, guilt, shame) that acts like a screaming warning, that causes sufferers to pay attention to the thoughts.

So, basically, the emotions you feel are absolutely real, but they are inappropriate for the situation.

Generally speaking, OCD sufferers have a higher than normal anxiety level. When I went to group therapy, we did a lot of anxiety level work. Without going into details, the group while relaxed was at a 3 to 5 out of 10, spiking to 7 to 10 when dealing with obsessions. I rated my background anxiety level at 4 to 5. That's all the time, more when OCD struck. So it is perfectly normal, in an OCD world, to feel anxious a lot of the time.

Fearing that something will harm you is perfectly normal. Some sufferers fear they will cause harm. Some fear harm will come to a specific loved one. All normal. 

Recovery is a process. It can take a long time to see positive results and you will have setbacks and sudden advances. One foot in front of the other. A favorite quote: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Anni, I spent 10 years (on and off) trying to find another me,  someone with the exact same thoughts and behaviors. I never found anyone exactly like me.

I learned in therapy that we are all unique. Our upbringing, experiences, knowledge, all help to shape who we are... right down to what obsessions we get and how we react to them.

Lots of sufferers question their diagnosis. Sometimes they feel like they're faking it. Sometimes they think there's something worse wrong with them. It's normal and why some of us say you have to take a leap of faith. Treat your problem as OCD, even if you don't quite believe it.

FYI, I am neither a sage nor a prophet. If I come across as such  I'll need to workon that. On the other hand, OCD skews perception and perhaps that is partly in play.

On 02/04/2024 at 05:15, McW said:

You may not believe this, but I absolutely agree with you....   but there's a time and a place, and Ironborn is clearly not in the position mentally and emotionally to be strong enough to 'just let it go' at this moment in time, and there's no shame in that at all, we have all been there and remember what it's like...  awful and terrifying. You don't throw a toddler that can't swim into the deep end of a pool and say 'just deal with it' they will inevitably drown if you did such a thing. You teach them to swim little by little, and starting with the easy stuff. Learning to 'not seek' reassurance is NOT 'the easy stuff'..  it hard, and scary, and tough, it comes towards the end of the book of 'learning to cope with OCD' and even though Ironborn has apparently been on here previously with the exact same worries, many of us don't know that... and in all honesty it doesn't matter anyway. There is also one HUGE fundamental difference between Ironborns predicament and the example you give....  the example you give is all in the head: Am I a paedophile etc..  because there is absolutely no real life and physical evidence to the contrary even though your head is trying to convince you otherwise,   Ironborn, unfortunately has been involved in a real life incident, where a small section of people absolutely will hear his account of things and start throwing ridiculous (wrongly might I add) accusations around about him. It's a totally different situation, and I don't think giving him some form of reassurance at this point is remotely problematic, either for him.. or for the people replying to him. Do the whole 'no reassurance' thing for people further down the line...   this is an excellent example of extreme rigid thinking that blights this forum ie: the book, therapist, course or whoever, told me that reassurance was 'bad'... therefore I must adhere to that at all times at all costs and with absolute unquestioning blind faith.

There was an individual on this forum just the other day that got quite upset about people telling him to 'just deal with it'  'just move on and do something else' and subsequently he asked for his original post to be removed. Now, even though the worries the said individual had were to me 'bemusing' I can fully understand and empathise that he is clearly not in a position mentally right now to 'just get over it' and even though it can be frustrating for people whom are further down the line to read these accounts, we have to respect that others may not be in the same position we are right now. 

Ironborn, I'm sincerely sorry that your original post has turned into this, but I repeat.. you are NOT a sex offender, and right now that's all you need to believe (know, because it's a fact) and when your feeling stronger and better about things, 'then' maybe you can start on the not questioning yourself and not seeking reassurance type strategies.

Just as an aside, I think you read far too much into my posts. I reread my first post on ths thread and I saw a gentle reminder. You saw something else.

Although I have told sufferers to let it go, I offered no such advice to Ironborn here.

Snowbear, you are really, really good.

Howard is right. It doesn't matter what label you put on it. You recognized that something was wrong, you made changes, the changes worked out, you're doing better. So keep going forward. Going back and trying to figure out what it was is going backwards.

One can be compassionate without offering blatant reassurance. 

Offering reassurance until the sufferer is ready to take on therapy? What if they don't get ready? What if it's not enough? How many times are you going to give reassurance? When you do that, you step on the compulsion hamster wheel with the sufferer.

Comorbid? So what? CBT isn't just for OCD. Sufferers have a thinking disorder. Cognitive Therapy is about getting sufferers to understand that and realize they can change their thinking. Offering blatant reassurance does not help to that end. At best, it just kicks the problem further down the road.

I know someone is going to point out that we aren't therapists. Guess what? 90% of what we do here falls under Cognitive Therapy - trying to get sufferers to change their thinking. It's essential to OCD recovery but it's also pertinent to a host of other disorders.