PolarBear

14 hours ago, Angst said:

I have family in Canada and they have the same reaction - affecting loads of decisions including real estate. When do the tariffs take effect this month, next month? Hold you to your mental health!

Hey Angst. Supposedly March 4, but Trump changes his mind more than his orange makeup. 

Hey, KC. I'm not on a lot right now. I'm Canadian and trying to hold on during the cluster**** going on down south.

I'm glad you're doing well. One day at a time. Focus on taking care of yourself.

On 03/02/2025 at 14:08, Phil18 said:

Im in a pickle I arranged another house viewing but not sure. Further away form railway station and don’t drive could regret it.

The fence issue I really dislike the extra posts. I’ve been arguing with landscape companies all day about price and what to do. Some wouldn’t touch it and think it’s fine others would replace but at a high cost near one grand for one side of a fence. Maybe I shouldn’t rush to make a choice but surely a new fence would fix the issue? People said removing the old posts weakens the fence.
 

So the trees are gone and I have fence posts I dislike now so what can I do? I can’t take a Time Machine and go back. Chances are they won’t replant those trees? 

You can accept that things are different, stop doing all this needless work, and get on with your life.

There is a type of obsession called intrusive feelings. Just as valid as intrusive thoughts, images, urges, etc.

On 10/02/2025 at 17:39, Handy said:

OCD is not caused by serotonin levels but a person might have a placebo effect.

We do not know what causes OCD. No one knows. With that, one shouldn't discount any possibility.

We are way beyond the placebo effect in our understanding that SSRI's and other serotonin regulators can and do calm overall anxiety in a good number of people.

You can have OCD and depression as to separate disorders. You can also become depressed because you have OCD. I was diagnosed with having both.

It is good to treat them both. If your overall mood lifts as you treat depression, you are more able to deal with your OCD. If you begin to get your OCD under control, you'll have less to feel down about.

8 hours ago, ocd777 said:

I think it's the little compulsions I slip up on as well and that feeds the overall doubt. So the surveyor said on visit was all fine, he tested 2 things just for completeness, they called me that day to confirm results negative.  I believed them. Now I'm wondering if they told me wrong / I heard it wrong and wanting the written report as proof. While waiting for it I want to call just to double check the results. I would normally let myself do that as it doesn't seem too bad. But probably that's just feeding my doubt in my senses / the surveyors, so I should just wait it out?

OCD will always find a way to suck you back in. It's mission is to keep you thinking about, and doing compusions around, the Big, Bad Thing, whatever that may be.

You focus on the more obvious compulsion you performed, getting a test done. I guarantee these past several weeks have been loaded with compulsions for you. I bet the possibility of asbestos being present has been top of mind, all the time. You've likely ruminated endlessly. How many times have you stopped to look at the area of concern? All of that is your doing.

OCD is very much like addiction. Just one more hit. Just one more check. It's never just one more. One leads to another, which leads to another.

So wait anything out. Literally, get on with your life. Get back in the game. 

Q: What if I heard wrong? A: Oh well. Action: Clean the house like you were going to, before the question (obsession) appeared.

It's difficult at first. It gets easier the more you do it.

20 hours ago, comfortscorned said:

I haven't been able to find a book on OCD I really like. They mostly seem to present elaborate systems of categories, and formulations involving lots of arrows without explaining where any of it comes from, which doesn't inspire confidence that it's not all arbitrary pseudoscience. Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is probably one of the better ones. I still found it worryingly dogmatic but the real cases they refer to are quite interesting.

No one knows what causes OCD. We know what it is and how to treat it. 

What you are attempting to do is a compulsion. You're trying to soothe yourself by saying you can say anything and it doesn't matter. It is true; it doesn't matter,but you don't need to reassure yourself. 

4 hours ago, ocd777 said:

I am so annoyed and upset. I had an asbestos re-survey on Friday, had prepared a list of everything I wanted to ask, they were really thorough and I was prepared to be brave and to try to draw a line from there. So today my brain has noticed that the ceilings in the lounge (its sort of in 2 halves, had been separate rooms, knocked through decades ago) are not actually the same wallpaper so while one is definitely woodchip like they said, I am not sure the other one is actually woodchip, I think its some kind of other textured paper. So now I have another question for the surveyor ie is the other wallpaper ok and does the subsurface of it need testing (he only looked at the woodchip subsurface, but now if the rooms are papered differently, could they also be different under the paper??). (We are having them boarded so need to know no asbestos on them or under them before plasterers drill through).

I really thought I could finally put this to bed but it turns out the box is just open again.

I can't ever seem to get past this or any other theme because every time I think I'm done, its not that the OCD THINKS up something new, its that I actually SEE something new. Like an actual new thing. Like seeing a crack in a wall the minute a structural surveyor has left. Or spotting a cracked tile the minute the roofer has gone. Is it just me this happens to? I'm a really methodical person so I don't understand how I miss things until the moment has passed.

 

What you want is certainty. What you need to learn is that OCD will not let you be certain. It doesn't matter how methodical you are. OCD will always find something else. 

You can't win against OCD. Not be playing by its rules. Instead, stop playing the game.

It is common for anxiety to increase after starting an SSRI. It usually improves after a while. If you don't see an improvement in the next week or so, I suggest you speak with your doctor. 

9 hours ago, AaronD said:

 

I've since been writing notes on the thoughts that I'm having in an attempt to map out what is going on in my mind.

I strongly recommend you stop doing this. OCD is illogical. You're trying to make sense of an illogical disorder. It most likely won't work and you'll drive yourself batty doing it.

Telling yourself that you did nothing wrong would be a compulsion. It is self-reassurance. As with any compulsion, it won't work. Soon enough, you'll get another obsession, you'll want to reassure yourself, and round and round you'll go.

On 03/01/2025 at 23:19, Phil18 said:

I feel such a disatisfaction with my house right now. I did some painting over the ceiling and I never did whole whole bit but the paint was cracking. So I get annoyed it’s blemished. My house is almost 30 years old and id prefer a house 10 or less. I mean the smell is a bit better but the tumble dryer still doesn’t smell as good. I am annoyed i decided to wrap the kitchen when what I want is newer kitchens windows and bathrooms. Sadly theres been nothing for sale for six months and it’s hard to persuade my wife. I mean I like where I am but theres been a big desire for a larger space for maybe 2-3 years now. I feel fed up of touching things up maintenance. I feel newer means less workmen out anyway hopefully. I mean I’d still have to paint it future smells could come. Staying here i mean id probably replace the tumble dryer maybe the kitchen who knows. I spot too many imperfections and annoyed about not enough garden space. That said there’s been a huge lack of new builds for sale for over six months now. So this dissatisfaction goes beyond smell it’s also the fact it’s not new.

No, it's the fact you have OCD. Without changing how you respond to thoughts of things less than perfect, NOTHING you do will make your feelings of dissatisfaction go away.

You can buy a brand new house, perfectly painted and perfectly smelling and, in short order, your mind will find something wrong and off you'll go again.

Remember this: if you move, you take your OCD with you.

Worrier, you are yet again seeking reassurance. You keep circling around the same core question: Is this really just OCD?

You have been told multiple times by multiple people that it is. You keep asking, in different ways. It's reassurance seeking. It's a compulsion.

I want you to know that unless you grit your teeth and put a stop to this, we'll be having this same conversation five years from now. I've seen it happen. Some sufferers get so stuck on whether they have OCD or not, they never deal with the obsessions that started the whole mess.

OCD is known as the doubting disease. Just when you feel you know the answer, the disorder throws up doubt. It can be an endless circle unless you put a stop to it. 

Go for it. Go further and stop collecting the water.

Worrier, OCD is basically intrusive thoughts that cause distress, followed by compulsions, all wrapped up in doubt. 

You have many thoughts that your problem is more than OCD. There's the intrusive thoughts. They cause you lots of distress. You already know you do compulsions, like coming here for reassurance. And you have loads of doubt. 

Compare the two paragraphs above. It's OCD. It's all OCD. 

11 hours ago, worrier said:

How ?

There's tons of info out there on reducing anxiety. High on the list for sufferers is to curb their compulsions. 

Briefly, getting your mind on other things. Exercise. Relaxation. Mindfulness. Eating right. Sleeping right. Going for walks. Meds.

3 hours ago, worrier said:

Just so full of Anxiety 

Yup. You can learn ways to minimize your anxiety.

4 hours ago, worrier said:

Can I just ask one question,do the thoughts change from moment to moment?

Like every thought just gets stuck?

Here you are, full of doubt and yet again asking for reassurance. 

Leap of faith.

1 hour ago, worrier said:

So I just keep saying to myself it’s ocd every time a thought comes..that is going to be thousands of times a day…

Nope. That would be a compulsion. Before you get to what to do about those thoughts, you need to deal with your doubts that this is something more than plain, old OCD.

Acknowledge that there is a ton of experience on this forum and if everyone is telling you that your problem is OCD, then it's probably just OCD and go with it.

Stop yourself from coming here and repeatedly asking some version of the question, is this just OCD? Doing that is reassurance seeking, a compulsion, and will only keep you stuck.

I'm asking you to take a leap of faith, accept your OCD and commit to treating it as OCD... even if you don't fully believe it right now.

@worrierYou have spent months trying everything in your power to convince us your problem is something other than OCD. You've been told dozens of times that your problem is just OCD, by numerous people. You keep coming back with yeah, but...

We see this often. The reason you  keep circling around and coming back to the same old thing is because of OCD. It's called the doubting disease for a reason. You are flat out told what your problem is, by veritable experts on the disorder because they live with it, and quickly doubt arises and you come back again.

Further, every time you doubt and you post, you're looking for a little shot of reassurance. Your mind is telling you that your problem is much worse than OCD, so you come here asking for another shot of reassurance. 

Thing is, unless you force yourself to change this cycle, you'll be stuck in it for a long time. We know you want help with the awful thoughts yo have, but I think first you need to accept that all of this is OCD so you can start treating it as OCD.

Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith. 

24 minutes ago, alinora said:

Could disgust be added here too?

Yup. Basically any negative emotion.

2 hours ago, ReallyBadThoughts said:

I acknowledge them, then try to ignore them! 

Yes! And get your mind onto other, important things.

11 hours ago, Caramoole said:

Hmmm.....not often I disagree with you - not sure I do now even but it's not always clear cut and is often a chicken/egg, egg/chicken situation.  My initial OCD was primarily a response to extreme anxiety first, not anxiety caused by OCD.  They were/became intrinsically linked.

Heh, that's why I put the word usually in there. I do remember you saying it is the reverse for you. And we know that high anxiety, real-world situations tend to spark OCD, where anxiety clearly comes first.

I'll have to think of a better way to phrase that.