PolarBear

I'd really like to know what wingnut websites you get your information from.

Okay. Whatever. You're like the boy who cried wolf. We've heard this many times before. Yeah, yeah, you're just going to accept it. Uh huh. You'll be back five times tomorrow and five times the day after that. Nothing will change because you are unwilling to take our advice and change your ways. See you next time for the same old thing.

What you did was confront your obsessions by agreeing with them. You unknowingly did a great exposure. By saying that, you left OCD nowhere yo go. Well done.

Except there is no such thing as having obsessions without compulsions. Pue O has come to mean compulsions that are mostly covert.

Taking CBT once and not having a positive outcome is no reason to say CBT doesn't work. Try a different therapist. And commit to the hard work necessary to recover. Your first stop is often your doctor. You need help.

Ironborn, your words are like so many others that came before you. I deserve no happiness. So overblown to what happened. Look at what's happened. OCD fixates on something, drawing your attention to it. Along with that is a panicky feeling, which you wrongly interpret as meaning it is a big deal. Then you do compulsions, which makes the whole thing worse. Chiefly, you ruminate endlessly, drawing power into the OCD vortex. A minor thing becomes this huge deal. It's the way it works with OCD. I can say this is minor because I am not in your head. I am not being bombarded by fake intrusive thoughts.

No balance is required. Nowhere is it written that we must punish ourselves for past mistakes. That's what you are doing... punishing yourself. And the punishment does not fit the crime. It's way overblown, as it is in all cases of this OCD theme. You can be a good person today and empathetic and caring and not allow yourself to wear a minor transgression from the past around your neck.

You want reassurance, like you did the last 100 times you had intrusive thoughts. I'm not going to give it.

That's ridiculous OCD thinking. It's as screwy as thinking you have every doorway three times before walking through or your mother will die. Also, how us your testing working out for you? I'm betting it's not. It isn't doing you any goof. So stop doing it.

Your expectations are out of whack. You expect to feel a certain way toward certain people, which is unrealistic. None of us get strong emotions around others all the time. That's one problem. The other is the compulsion of analyzing how you feel and comparing that with your warped expectations. It's oksy to feel nothing. Neutral is okay.

What you do about this is nothing. Nothing. Right now you are performing a compulsion by analyzing whst you did, looking for motives and possible repercussions. That's the problem, not that you did something 11 years ago. You are allowed to let this go. We are all allowed to move past our mistakes.

You've got to stop this cycle, lily. You get intrusive thoughts, you do compulsions, including coming here, confessing and expecting reassurance from us. Keep doing the same thing and you'll keep grtting the same result.

Anything white to you is semen. You've basically taught yourself to think 'semen and 'bad' every time you see something white. It's ludicrous if you think about it. There are a lot of substances out there that are white. Ignore it. Don't do anything about it. Get on with your day.

Once again you throw something out that is so blown out of proportion it is astounding. Not to mention that you have sunk to a new low. I did take my own advice. I overcame OCD. I needed help in the form of meds to calm me down enough to be able to function and do the necessary CBT work. And I did the work. I do not advise anyone here to do anything that I did not first do. Also note that I was diagnosed with severe OCD, GAD, panic attacks and Major Depressive Disorder. Meds helped me with all, immensely. Now if you're done with your attack, perhaps we can get back to the topic of this thread.

Your lack of knowledge about topics pertaining to OCD is troubling. It does not take 12 weeks for the effect of a typical SSRI to be known. That would be like the maximum amount of time needed but typically a sufferer should see an improvement in 4 to 6 weeks. Often less. While waiting for the SSRI to work, anxiety can rise in the short term but it typically does not 'rise like crazy' and certainly not over a 12 week period. Typically, SSRIs do not 'numb you up'. Benzos can do that for a lot of people. I get that you are against meds. That's your choice. But please stop posting mistruths on this forum.

No one has said meds cure OCD. I find your comment about the placebo effect in people with OCD to be highly suspect.

I'm sure some people have challenges with showers. The mind can create the weirdest things to fixate on. It's all a lie. There is no contamination. OCD lies 100% of the time. It never tells the truth. What you need to do is get control over your compulsions. Whatever you do to fix the problem (which doesn't exist) is a compulsion and needs to stop. Compulsions draw attention to perceived problems, making them feel more threatening. Get in, take a quick shower and get out. Repeatedly doing this will put OCD in its place.

I am tired of you constantly arguing with us! You just finished telling us you don't feel anxiety. I showed that you do. You negated what I said as if the truth doesn't matter. You need to leave. This is ridiculous. You wouldn't go to a bipolar forum and post many times a day, for a year, that you don't have bipolar. Yet that's what you do here. You ignore what we say. You argue with us. This isn't doing you or us any good. It is, really, beyond silly. Stop posting here. Go do whatever it is you feel you want to do. Stay away... until the day you want to talk about your OCD. Truly want to talk, with a new attitude that you are going to listen to us. Until then, you are wasting your time and ours. If I was a mod, I would lock every thread of yours where you post you don't have OCD.

Dk, the above post of yours was posted four days ago. Read the first three words.

You have spent the last year telling us that you don't hsve OCD, that you are a devisnt, you're sick, yada, yada, and hou kerp going to those other webdites and ruminaging like crazy... How's that working for you? Have you done any of these scary, bad things yet? How much longer are you going to wair? Another year? Another ten years?

You have stated, on this thread, that you feel anxious. You certainly feel distress, which is what obsessions cause. Anyway, I see you sidestepped my post and didn't really think about it. You are stuck. If you keep doing the same old things, you will remain stuck. It's that simple. Accept that you don't have OCD, you'll remain stuck. Accept that you are a deviant, you will remain stuck. Keep going to those other websites, you will remain stuck. Ignore our advice, you will remain stuck.

Go ahead. Please do. However, know this: the doubt, anxiety, uncertainty, disgust, shame and other mixed up feelings you have will not subside. OCD will not let you off the hook. And what happens if you keep telling yourself you don't have OCD? Nothing. OCD doesn't care if you believe in it. The despair you have been feeling will continue, unabated. There is only one way out of this where you regain your life back.

I thought you were going to try and take our advice. That lasted what, not even 24 hours?

So.... you did a compulsion and that made you feel worse. Do you see that? If you burned your hand touching a flame, would you keep doing it? Yet you keep doing compulsions, even though they make your situation worse.

I love your description of that initial shock. This is not a drill! Yeah. I think awareness is key, both of how OCD works and how rhat pertains to your situation. You've got to reslize early on that this time IS just like the last 100 times. Make a commitment to not deal with it for a few hours and refocus on something else.