Jump to content

changemynametosomething

Bulletin Board User
  • Posts

    258
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by changemynametosomething

  1. i actually wrote a book once and got it published, its about ocd but not written to explain something and its not informative at all. the book is mainly about her time in a mental hospital, and with her therapist. the book is written to be funny, even dough its about a diffucult theme. i actually have no responses or ideas for you, i find it hard to give that without seeing the language in the book sort of, i dont know, but i think a book about ocd can be helpfull, and be kind of a support for someone struggling.
  2. im doing a lot better. ive done a lot of compulsions today, and also yesterday, but ive still mangaged to stop somewhere even dough it feels wrong. i feel like doing compulsions right now, but i know it wont help. when it comes to these thoughts about being clean, ive also made some huge steps forward. i just moved in this apartment, and a few weeks ago i discovered someone left a towel in top of the clothe-thing (sorry, forget english words sometimes?). i only have one towel, and sometimes its dirty, and i have thought many times that i just want to take that towel, you know, its so much more comforteble with a towel than a t-shirt. but it seems dirty, i felt i couldent use it. but erlier today, even dough my boyfriend is coming over later, and i didnt know if i was going to take another shower before that, i just thought "**** it", and used it anyways. it felt so amazing. he is coming over later, and i desided to let things be as they are, maybe i wash the toalet really quiq, but thats it. today has absolutly been a hard day, specially the first two hours, i had some thoughts that really freaked my out, and still do, but im coping. also had this "unreal" feeling a lot of the day, especially when being out in crowded places, i just space out and get it, but as i said before, im not as scared of it anymore, even dough when it happened today it wasent pleseant, to say atleast. anyways, im coping, not more, not less.
  3. in my experience, when you are getting better, your ocd tries new tricks, to try to get you back. i see is it as a "positive thing", because i know its because im getting better, and that the ocd devil needs to go to extreme lengths to keep me in his embrace, kind of. even dough i know that ocd isnt really a devil, its only my brain that tries to keep me safe, my alarmsystem is confused. i have the power to teach my alarmsystem back to normal. sorry bout a long comment, that may have gotten out of hand, but i have been awake since 6, and im alone, and im struggling a bit here? i wish you, and all you other sufferers who read this, a day with as little ocd as possible <3
  4. the reason why im being a bit "harsh", (i could just ignore your post) is i get a bit angry when people who dont have ocd say they have it. and thats why i just blurted it out like that. but, like i said, i could be dead wrong here.
  5. i understand and believe that you have some problems of some sort, but i dont think this classifies as ocd, from what you are writing, i cant see any trades of ocd here, but i may be wrong, i dont know you or your situation to the fullest, so please dont take this the wrong way, and im sorry, if this actually is ocd..
  6. if you have ocd, and people around you try to convince you otherwise, i would higly recomend you to throw their asses out of your life immidiatly. thats one of the worst thing ive read today.
  7. Can i just tell you something? i dont think this would help you at all, but maybe, just maybe a little. you asked why you should stop doing compulsions, and here are some facts, laid right out for you: your brain is a mechanism. it wants you to survive and that you are safe. therfore, you have a little part of your brain, called amygdala. when you have a thought, it will first uccure in the large part of the brain, and if the thought is imortant enough, it will be sent to amygdala. (the alarm system) the thought will go on in a circle and it will case you distress and it will be uncomferteble. even feel like hell. everybodys brain works this way. people with ocd, our brain is kind of "damaged", a lot of information that shouldent be in amygdala, goes there anyways, the filter is broken. when you do compultions, you then stop these thougts and their circle, and you feel "good" again. safe. maybe not even good, when ocd is on its "worst", you just dont feel like hell anymore when doing compulsions. the problem is that if you continue to do compulsions, you train your brain to get more information to amygdala. i know that when you feel like doing a compulsion, you may think: only this one. this last one. or: this compulsion is so important, its much more important than any other. its a lie, and its just your thoughs going in and out of amygdala.
  8. well, its normal ocd, its because you care about rasism, and its your theme, its as simple as that actually.
  9. ive had what is called "unreal" feeling, its when you feel "out of body", or its not you. kind off. first time i had it it was really scary, i thought i actually was going crazy. the thing is- its nothing to worry about, its because the brain gets to much anxiety, and suddenly stops working right. its kind of a survive mechanism.
  10. I can tell you right now- you are NOT alone. A lot of people seems to have a lot of friends, but thats not always the case. For you- looking at it from only you- you may have these visions about people having a lot of friends that they talk to, and trust, but believe me, they may not. Some of them also has a lot of fake friends, or they pretend, or something like that. Its better to have no friends, or just a few, than a lot of fake ones. things arent always as they seem, just remember that when you are at a low place.
  11. thank you for replying. i kind of knew that already, but guess you reminded me. also- about those ****** headphones, would a normal person wash them before, if they clearly SAW the dirt? i think- my first step could be not wash them, but put them in my jacket as long as im there- i would then feel i have it on my hands, maybe thats challenging enough at the beginning? im not even using them when im there, so that would be a normal thing anyways. or- just start with all the other things- i already feel dirty enough without the headphones. sorry-thinking out loud now. one step at the time.
  12. One more thing: you people- manly talking about those who suffered before- know much about ocd and how to tackle it. i also know my part, but there is one thing im not ready for- or i dont know how to tackle. i have no ocd about germs or being dirty-exept for when im going over to my boyfriends house. its about his couch. im afraid of ruin it, or get something on it, like sweat, pee, dirt from my ears (i have dirty ears no matter how much i clean them). i have this feeling of peeing myself every time im on my way over there, and feel the urge to put paper in my underwear or something- to make sure its not going trough my pants. ive checked once- and i know its not pee, its just a feeling, so i know how to deal with that particular thing, but what about my ears? you know- my headphones ARE dirty if i dont clean them, and i have this fear that if i dont clean them before going over, it will be all over the couch. so- to my point: when im ready- how should i best overcome this? what should be the best way towards this particular theme? actually put my dirty headphones on the couch? or should i wash them every single time i go over there since i actually KNOW (i can see that they are dirty) that they are dirty? im asking cause i cant seem to figure it out, and as you know, when you are trying to get free from ocd- doubt is NOT your friend. thank you in forhand for those who replies.
  13. Its been going well since i wrote. I know its been only one day, but for me thats a long time, and i actually went trough this day with only doing like two compulsions. Im proud. Right now my anxiety is of the roof, its absolutly going crazy. Had a positive thought about life, and since my life has been terrible these last months, its pretty abvious that when i first have a positive thought, and actually felt happy- right after that thought something else came along, i had a really horrific thought, not related to that, but one of my usuall ocd thoughts. I SO want to do compulsions right now, its ridicilous. I need some pep talk, or i need to write it down. This doesent help my anxiety, so its not reasuranse. I just feel that all those positive things are being taken away from me if i dont do this ONE compolsion. I also know- if i get trough this- without doing compulsions- my ocd will no longer hurt me. i will be one LARGE step to being free. omg. somebody pray for me. and im not even religious.
  14. Hei everyone. Its been a while since ive been here, but ive read a lot of posts these last weeks cause of a major "ocd comeback". i mangaged to get pretty free from all ocd compulsions last year, but sadly, as you know, it can come back as soon as you start doing compulsions again, wich i did. i also went trough some ROUGH **** this summer, wich lead to what its called unreal-feeling directly transaleted from norvegian, (dont know what its called in english). i went trough some anxiety wich was really really hard, wich caused this to happen. i know that this feeling is not something to worry about, but the first time i felt it, it was really scary. when i realized what caused it, and that its notting dangerous, i cope better with it. i still get it from time to time, ive had it today, but i just shrug it off like its nothing important. anyways, it was not why i startet writing this, what i wanted to say is that im trying to get out of this comeback about compulsions, wich has been a nightmare the last months. its gonna be tough, but ive already startet, ive been doing almost no cumpolsions the last two days, and it feels amazing. and also really bad, off course. also wanted to say thank you to all you people on this forum, you give good advices, and thank you for being here. i have no one to talk to if im in a "sudden panic" or sudden "ocd state of mind", but this forum is always here. guess this is all there is to say, have a good day everyone.
  15. Hei:) i have this same topic, and its, like any other ocd theme- true hell. i had an tought today, and since than been terrified. i tried to do compulsions, but i cant seem to get this "right" feeling anyways, so im kind of lost. so i go here to find some strenght, or similar issues, so i dont feel so alone. my ocd thought are making me feel like the worst person in the world, and that everything is over. when i think a bad thought about my boyfriend- i fear that everything is over, i messed it up, i lost him, or that the thought i had is so cruel or bad that, well, i dont even know what the punishement is, but basicly.. i dont know, i just feel bad. after being here for just ten minuts i almost feel better, while writing this i understand that the thought i had... oh now its bad again. now its better and now its bad again. haha. ok, ill stop writing now.
  16. thanks, i know i can, but oh my god its so tough. people who deals with ocd should get a billion dollars for doing this, haha. anyways, today is no better, well it might, cause i just got up, and imidiatly started the thoughts and anxiaty, but will i manage to leave out the compolsions? thats pretty much up to me. give me strenght, myself!
  17. i am so absolutly (cannot write this word) of doing compolsions, i dont know what to do anymore:( i made it trough four days without doing any, but the last to days has been really aweful and ive been doing it like every five or ten minuts, im just so broken. can anybody help me, just say anything, write anything that will make me believe again, and make me better:(
  18. i want to go to the bathroom and put my foot in the corner again, and then to the other room, cause it has to be two different rooms, and i also want to have the right thought while doing it. it feels impossible, it hurts and i want to stop, ive been doing this so many times now
  19. im doing so bad right now its really ****** up:( in a hotellroom in another city, couldent sleep more than four hours, and now ive been doing compulsion after compulsion, walking back and forth and stomping my foot in the doorway (hard to explain) and i just dont seem to stop. so afraid, and feel so bad. about the delete and edit-thing: what...the...... haha, i never even write facebookstatuses cause of this, and its like.. i always want to delete or edit something, i regret or feel like words are wrong.
  20. I know, its so rough at times. right now, on the other hand, my problem is that i cannot edit or delete the post, and feel like that is my main problem at the time. wow. im just a mess:P
  21. im shifting from: i can do this, and then: omg omg omgomgomgomg i need to do it i have to do it, till: oh its fine, and then again i feel so bad i want to throw up:(
×
×
  • Create New...