margarita!

I'm in a very frustrating situation and would like some advice/opinions on what to do. I have a job interview for a very good position. When I found out that this position was on offer I was very enthusiastic and really hoped I could get an interview. However, now... I feel so confused. I'm not sure how to explain what is going on in my head but I feel that I shouldn't take this opportunity. This change of mind is ocd-related I think. I feel that circumstances are not "right", that this position is somehow "cursed" due to ocd triggers that occurred and that I shouldn't take the interview. I can guess what your responses will be, I can imagine what I would advise another ocd sufferer, yet I can't get my head around it for myself. Please, help me understand what I'm supposed to do and share your thoughts about this.

Hi Natasha, I'm so sorry you and your brother are suffering so much at the moment ? Just a suggestion, is your brother aware of this site and the forums? If not, could you perhaps let him know about it and encourage him to search through the posts? As you said yourself, it can be very powerful and encouraging to read other sufferers' stories that might be similar to yours. I think it would greatly benefit him to just scroll through the pages here because he will realise that he's not alone in his suffering.

Hi BelAnna, You have already given the response yourself: That being said, I understand how stressed you feel because I also suffer from contamination OCD and I get how things, which would mean nothing for a non-sufferer, can cause extreme anxiety to us. Do you think that you can let it go for now, leave the worry just be there, and instead do something else to take your mind off it? I recall from previous posts that you have a puppy? Perhaps taking him/her for a walk would help to distract you?

I'm a bit overwhelmed at the moment. OCD and depression are taking a toll on me. I have so many things that I need to do -both workwise and everyday errands- but I can't get myself to do them. It feels impossible to make even the simplest decisions right now. I procrastinate because I dread the compulsions and anxiety. I'm just very stressed and I can't motivate myself to do anything.

What a wonderful post Andrea! I would jump on the first available flight to go and see my parents, sister and cat and give them a huge hug...

Hi Gemma, Thank you so much for your kind response I agree with everything you wrote. I know that's what I have to do. I'm just feeling so low at the moment. (I'm not having therapy right now, I had in the past, not CBT though. I'm on a waiting list but still months away.)

Hi felix4, Thanks for your response I think it's possibly a combination of OCD/depression. I do have OCD themes which stop me from doing things I'd otherwise like to do or would do with much less effort. Contamination is my main theme and the one which causes me huge diffuculties though I also have this worry that I shouldn't do something if the circumstances aren't (seemingly of course) ideal. To give just an example, if I get the idea that for one reason or another today is a "bad" day, I won't complete important tasks at work. I'm fearing that the task that has to be completed will go wrong, then the whole project of which the task is part will go wrong too, then the rest of the projects I work on will fail as well, I'll get fired and I'll be miserable and several other such scenarios... (I know how irrational that is but still I can't deal with it.) And like that, the OCD/depression becomes a vicious circle: I avoid things and situations because of OCD, this avoidance and procrastination makes me depressed as I feel incompetent and this negative mood worsens my OCD... At least that's what I think. But I can't seem to be able to break this circle at the moment...

I don't have any motivation to do things I used to enjoy. Everything is such a struggle with OCD and even the simplest tasks seem impossible at times, more often than not recently. I used to enjoy my work and I was good at it, going to the office was a way to keep me distracted from OCD. Now I can't even concentrate on the easiest tasks. I now find it hard to even go to the office. And it's not just work, I don't enjoy going out either. During the weekend, for example, I didn't want to do anything at all. And I'm afraid this will soon, if not already, start to annoy my boyfriend and (very few anyway) friends. How are we supposed to enjoy the things others can so easily enjoy and appreciate, how can we be good to what we do when OCD is such a tough thing to deal with?...

Hi Orwell, I just wanted to quickly say that you might have stumbled upon a toxic environment at your work but you're in a friendly environment in these forums!! Please, don't let that unfortunate work situation make you think less of yourself. Take care...

Thanks, Wren, it means a lot! I haven't thought about it until you mentioned it but, yes, I think you're correct, grief could definitely have some role in this. As if OCD wasn't bad enough on its own ... It's just that the anxiety is so overwhelming at this point. I'll try to take things slowly for now, hoping that these feelings will soon fade.

Not coping very well to be honest.. Let me first say that I did manage to travel and attend the funeral. I somehow kept compulsions at a minimum, almost close to nothing during my whole stay... BUT: the amount of stress I'm feeling at the moment is beyond description. I haven't felt so much stress in a very long time, perhaps even never before. Of course, I always get anxious when OCD flares up but this time it's awful. I usually manage to stay positive and retain some control over my feelings but now it's taken the best of me, I just feel that I've lost the plot and I can't think clear.. It doesn't even feel like OCD at this point, more like an anxiety cloud over my head - if that even makes sense. And I'm not sure how to ease it. I just can't wait to return home tomorrow in the hope that things will start to feel normal again once this trip is completed. OCD is a nightmare

Hi Freya, I'm sorry you're feeling so low. If it's of any consolation, I too used to find that my OCD was getting worse during exams. My guess is that your OCD will decrease again as soon as exams are finished. Stressful situations tend to worsen OCD. As for your low self esteem, I would also guess that this too will improve together with your OCD when your workload is back to normal. I really hope it's a temporary situation that has just worsen due to the stress associated with the upcoming exams. (If the low self esteem persists, perhaps there's some underlying depression on top of OCD? Don't know, just something for you to consider.) I hope you feel better soon.

You already helped me by writing such kind words! Thank you, Wren! I know, it's so difficult. And stress amplifies it so much more. It's already difficult enough to complete everyday tasks, let alone deal with unpredictable circumstances.

Hi sufferer, I'm sorry that you're not feeling very well atm. I'm taking sertraline and I have no side effects. Sertraline is an antidepressant and, as my psychiatrist explained, it doesn't target OCD directly but rather the depression often associated with OCD. It takes off the anxiety and it makes it easier to deal with OCD obstacles. I'm satisfied with how sertraline works for me and I never had any negative issues with it. That being said, there are a couple of things I want to mention: as with most antidepressants, it takes several weeks before you start seeing positive effects, which means that you'll have to stick with it for sometime. Also, OCD medication is usually a trial-and-error process, which sadly means that what worked for one OCD sufferer might not work for another so you might have to keep trying different drugs until you find the one that works for you. Hope you feel better soon.

I am dealing with a very stressful situation at the moment and I could really do with some support or advice from fellow sufferers. A very close friend of mine died today. I cannot even find the words to describe how sad I am. Of course losing a loved one is enough to cause a huge amount of distress anyway but adding this on top of the ocd... I'm sure you understand... I feel very selfish for what I'm about to write and I hate myself for experiencing the feelings you'll read in the next lines. But I have to do it because I'm not sure how I can cope without support. My friend's funeral is in two days. As I currently live abroad, I need to travel in order to tell her the last goodbye. The problem is that I suffer from contamination ocd... Airports and planes are my worst fear. I consider them extremely contaminated and I feel that I can "see" the germs. And then I feel that I've transferred the germs wherever I go after landing. For this I avoid travelling as much as possible. I'm crying as I type this but due to this fear I haven't been able to visit my family for 1,5 year... Thinking that I'll be travelling soon...it's a crippling fear...not sure how I'll deal with it. I'm not even gonna go into the details of my contamination ocd as I know you people understand how the simplest things can seem impossible for an ocd sufferer. I feel so guilty and selfish for thinking about such things during this time. What kind of person worries about how dirty their plane seat will be when they've just lost a loved one?!! I feel horrible for thinking about myself at this time and I hate that I can't help it. I'm just lost for words. Sadness, guilt and ocd are so mixed up at the moment that I don't even know what I'm crying for anymore.