Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze

Thanks for making me smile. I end up doubting myself.

Thanks, Taurean. I feel like I'm being accused of faking it before, and as one of my fears is being a fraud who doesn't really have OCD, it triggers that.

Does anybody have experience of family members resenting it when you make progress, because it means you "could have done it before"? If so, how do you cope and carry on trying to get better. I just want to give up.

Some of my obsessions involve dying too - either myself or other people. Everything seems fraught with danger.

Thanks for sharing. Maybe we'll find our executive functioning improves with our OCD.

I don't necessarily agree with everything she wrote, but the general idea that sometimes we are doing our best, even though it may not look like it.

I think maybe part of the reason being called lazy upsets me so much is that I do also doubt myself and question whether I really am just lazy. The "laziness" after the initial motivation is something I can also very much relate to. I wonder if it could be burnout? I think you are right that too much thinking about it (all the rumination and mental compulsions), are a result of our OCD though.

I don't know if this article I found is of any help. (I hope it's OK to post it.) https://thesilentwaveblog.wordpress.com/2016/09/18/they-thought-i-was-lazy-when-i-was-just-actuallyautistic/

I have the same problem, and I hate it when people describe me as lazy because I do feel there is more to it than simply laziness. Interestingly, I am becoming more and more sure I am on the spectrum, so autism could be part of it for us both.

No need to apologise, I was just genuinely curious. I had a feeling that you might not remember. I have done the same, posted about something and then looked back at my posts to find I had written about it before and forgotten! Intrusive thoughts in OCD can be about suicide. In those cases, they are the opposite of what we want, as they are with the other harm thoughts that are more commonly discussed.

Do you remember posting about this subject before?

Both, I think. After a good day, when I feel I've made progress and am starting to see through the fog and recognise the OCD for what it is, the next day I often wake up feeling dreadful physically and back in the fog mentally. Sometimes I even get worse afterwards. For example, the last time I went out, in the summer of 2012, I went for an appointment at the optician's, to get new glasses. I actually coped quite well, doing fewer decontamination compulsions when I got back. And then I never went out again. Since reading about people's experiences of autism, I am wondering if perhaps 'burn out' plays a part. Has anyone else on the spectrum gone through similar?

Thank you. Does anyone know why I always 'crash' after making progress?

Thank you Yes, although it is only a tiny drop in the ocean!

Thank you At first I was worrying a lot and starting to 'mentally check', trying to remember if I put something in that I shouldn't, but I managed to recognise it was a compulsion and stop it.