Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze

Thank you. Yes, sorry, I went to the hospital a while ago but with so many things happening I forgot to update here. The biopsy results came back clear, but they still want to operate. I want to wait a bit though. My experience going back the second time was very different from the first and they weren't very understanding of my OCD.

Just wanted to clarify, all the things I've been doing have been made more manageable by the help I've had to change my thinking.

Thanks. I haven't got a lot planned for this week so far, other than hunting for more permanent housing. I'm planning to walk to the shops again tomorrow, but I think I might get a taxi back! I might be meeting up with an old school friend at the weekend. I think the ERP is helping, but I can feel myself sliding back again since my mum's illness started and I'm avoiding more things. I can't remember if I posted about getting my biopsy results?

Sending I completely relate to how you're feeling. I'm also having to live with the consequences of my OCD fears and compulsions, and also how they've impacted on other people. It's not easy. We will get through this though, and things will get easier. Some days will floor us, but we will get back up again. Try to rest and cut yourself some slack.

Thank you, BelAnna. It was rather! My shoe came off too lol. I had a shower and cleaned my grazed knees but just wiped over my clothes with dettol wipes as I can't wash them. Yeah, I'm coping OK at the Travelodge. Having my own space helps with my stress levels and social anxiety, but I think having people around to 'copy' helped my OCD. I think in some ways I feel freer, as I'm in 'outside mode' but it is quite overwhelming too. I'm booked in here till Wednesday, I'm not sure what happens after that. Thank you. Mum is staying in a self catering cottage for a week now, but I don't know where she's going after that. The virus or whatever it is is still affecting her. You can imagine how I feel about that!! Aw, thank you. You're doing so well facing all the fears you're facing too. ☺️

Thanks GBG I'm glad it's not just me. She's about 14 miles away, so not too bad, but as someone who's not used to travelling it seems quite far to me! I haven't seen her for a few days. She seems to have some sort of bug at the moment, so I'm worried about that as an emetophobe.

The Travelodge where they have placed me isn't as far away as I'd feared. I had an er interesting day on Thursday. I went to buy some food and stuff. I had to walk much further to the supermarkets than I’d thought, then lug the heavy shopping back. It poured with rain and hailed and I got soaked. I got lost, then managed to trip over and land on the pavement, slightly injuring myself. Someone asked if I was OK, so I took the opportunity of asking for directions. I had to ask someone else before I finally found the Travelodge again. They kept saying it’s there, you can see it, but I couldn’t see it! I’m really clumsy, I drop stuff all over the place, spill things, walk into things etc. ALL THE TIME. I thought getting new glasses would help with that, but clearly not... Have also had a lot of stress worrying about my mum who isn't well and has fallen twice.

Thank you The therapy session was OK. If I'm honest, my mind wasn't really on it that much though as I was busy worrying about housing. I've got another appointment in a fortnight. I think I only get 6 sessions though. I have to move out of where I am today. The council are putting me in temporary accommodation, but it could be anywhere in the county and far from ideal, but I will have to cope somehow.

Thank you both xx I think it's CBT.

Hi BelAnna, Sorry I didn't see your message before. Just came to the thread to give a quick update. Sorry I haven't written for a while, I have been struggling with lots of things and also struggling to keep up with everything that's happening at the moment! I'm currently staying with a family friend - have been for a couple of weeks - as the council haven't managed to find me anywhere yet. I need to leave soon though. Lots to write about once things are more settled, but just wanted to say I've got my first therapy session tomorrow.

Thank you, both. I'm still getting used to the new glasses. They are so thick that they make everything look small, and curved at the edges. I've had a bit of a rest today - if I'm honest I've been struggling with feelings of depression - but am planning to get back out there and go to the shop tomorrow. Also hopefully meet up with my mum, who I haven't seen for a couple of weeks.

Quick update. Been on the bus into town and picked up my new glasses. I have a meeting with someone from the council about housing on Monday. (Thank you Ashley for being my advocate!)

Today has been very challenging, to put it mildly! I was lucky enough to have a knight in shining armour come to my rescue though. On a positive note, I took the bus into town today. I nearly gave up and called a taxi on the way back as the buses kept driving straight past the stop where I was standing.

Thank you. Yes, I can't thank them enough. x