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Everything posted by Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze

  1. Hi BelAnna, Any reduction in compulsions is a step in the right direction, so well done! How are you finding the EMDR? I'm hoping it will be helpful long term. I'm planning to ask for CBT once we've moved out. I have been outside a few more times - just a few steps from the front door still so far, but then I go back in without any extra cleaning or clothes changing.
  2. How are you doing now? I hope their return wasn't too stressful for you. I'm with you on the not feeling safe. Thank you, that would be good. It probably won't be a hotel as it will take quite a while, maybe a short term let.
  3. Yep, that's the one! Well done for not googling! I think it's normal to be anxious, us worriers just take it that bit further! I'm doing a bit better, thanks. Made it just outside my house now. I'm soon going to have to go and stay somewhere else for a while though, which I'm terrified about!
  4. If it's the one I think it is, it may not be norovirus at all. What can you do to distract yourself? P.S. Good news about your mum, it must have been a very worrying day waiting.
  5. Yes, I know I'm not actually going to fall into the sky. I think it's more of a feeling than a thought. I don't know.
  6. Thank you both for your messages. It wasn't yet dark, so I didn't see any stars. (Not that I would anyway with my eyesight!) I'm not sure if it's part of my agoraphobia, but looking at the sky scares me - I feel like I'm falling into it. I always keep my ears open, but for sounds of 'danger'.
  7. I went outside again. It was evening and there weren't many people about, so I stayed out a bit longer this time. I looked up at the sky, which I haven't done for a long time.
  8. Thank you, Caramoole. I haven't been out again yet because it was raining, but I'll try tomorrow. I've been struggling more and feeling depressed. I think it is the time of the month.
  9. Thanks, Taurean. I'll give it some thought. I managed not to clean my footwear after going outside. In the past when I went out I'd have wiped them with dettol wipes.
  10. Thanks, I don't think I do have a very good understanding, but I'm slowly beginning to understand more. It's complicated as there's a mix of the OCD contamination fears, plus agoraphobia and social anxiety.
  11. Thank you In a way it was easier than I expected. I got the sun on my face and my glasses went dark - the reacting bit still works after all this time! I was squinting in the bright light and darting back in like a frightened animal whenever a car or person came by. I didn't really notice what I was thinking. I guess the next challenge is to stay for longer at a time without running in.
  12. I've been just outside the house again a few times.
  13. That sounds like a nightmare! Well done for coping with it all so well. I hope you can get things sorted soon.
  14. My challenge is to step outside the front door. (I am agoraphobic and have been housebound for seven years.) I have done it a few times in the last week.
  15. I definitely agree that others can be (and often are) negatively affected by our illness, and that it is a good thing to want to get better for those around us as well as for ourselves. I just feel that too much emphasis on this can create overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame and being a failure in the sufferer, which are not helpful to recovery. Also feelings of resentment from others if recovery is slow.
  16. I'm not saying people with OCD can't be selfish. I know I can be very selfish! But I just don't think OCD necessarily makes anyone more selfish than people suffering any other illness.
  17. Agree. Also some people with OCD fear harming others to the extent that their own lives are destroyed. How does that make them selfish?
  18. Caramoole I will try. Something like this would usually end up with me self harming, but I haven't this time.
  19. Thanks, Taurean. I feel like I'm being accused of faking it before, and as one of my fears is being a fraud who doesn't really have OCD, it triggers that.
  20. Does anybody have experience of family members resenting it when you make progress, because it means you "could have done it before"? If so, how do you cope and carry on trying to get better. I just want to give up.
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