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BigDave

Bulletin Board User
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About BigDave

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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    UK

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  1. So I have a question I think I know the answer to but I got some urine on my legs when I went to the toilet. Just droplets but didn’t wash them off. Said screw it and went to bed. I then had a sudden jerk movement in my leg and now I think I have urine of some of my stuff in my bedroom especially DVD’s. So I was planning to wipe them but may not. Still feels ridiculously gross.
  2. I know but what I’m saying is I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t have because it wasn’t a big deal??
  3. I hear tut and I know you are right that I probably didn’t touch them. I guess what I’m getting at is whether I should confront the fact that even if I did that it isn’t a big deal and that I shouldn’t react on it. Do you see what I mean? It’s the whole idea of urine and semen as being things I’m really worried about having on me and or spreading. It’s not like I’m spreading nuclear waste.
  4. So you are saying that I shouldn’t care if I touch my genitalia? I shouldn’t even wash my hands?
  5. Thanks for all of your feedback guys. I swear to God though it’s every little thing that is getting me at the moment. The big one today is my genitals. Essentially I am in constant fear that my hands are going to touch them. It’s bad enough on normal days. I think, ok I could touch urine. But recently I’ve met someone and when we chat I can get a little, you know, and then it’s there and I’m constantly feeling like I’m touching it by accident or something is brushing against it and I’m thinking maybe there are urine or other fluids on my hands or my phone or whatever. I’m going out of my mind. I know you are going to say that I should just ignore the OCD bully but I’ve just had a second shower because I touched my hair after I thought I might have touched it. I just really hate my life at the moment.
  6. I truly appreciate all of your advice. It's good to know that you care. I can't believe how much I'm struggling at the moment from all this sort of stuff. I feel like there are so many things that are freaking me out. I am actually afraid to fill out forms because I worry that I am going to type the wrong thing or some sensitive number or code. My therapist tells me that websites don't look to store incorrect attempts for passwords and stuff anyway and they'd not notice but that doesn't make me completely freak out over it all. I don't know whether it is simply that I'm on a low dose of aripiprazole at the moment but I have high levels of paranoia and generalised anxiety. Like half the time I think I'm typing in passwords or codes into the wrong thing and that someone is going to come and access my account and steal everything from me. I'm in a CONSTANT state of panic. I'm just so miserable at the moment...
  7. I swear I’m trying hard with this. But it’s like even if my hand goes near my butt, I’m thinking I’m contaminated. I know what you are saying. Normal people don’t think in contamination. I’m just severely stressed out.
  8. I know what you are saying but it isn’t really a matter of what if but when. But I get what you are saying is that in any case it isn’t nuclear waste or anything majorly harmful and I should relax about it (I think)
  9. OK, so pee on the floor might not be a big deal but what if it’s on me. Or what if my brother doesn’t wash his hands after going for a **** or he fiddled with himself and then he is touching all over the house. How do I get over that remotely?
  10. I hear what you are saying. For me, because a lot of it is contamination, I find part of the problem is two-fold; there are the times I think I've touched something and there are the times that I know I've touched something contaminated. For example, when I'm washing my hands and my hand is near my lap for one second, I'm thinking, did I touch a wet patch. I probably didn't but I wash my hands anyway. I get the best way to get through that is not to wash your hands again. But then there are the instances where I touch something that could/might not be considered contaminates such touching a door that looks like it has splashes of coke or pasta sauce on them or opening the fridge after my brother has having known full well he has just been to the toilet and not washed his hands (or worse). I figure I have to just suck it up but I'm struggling like crazy over that. My therapist would say something like if I peed a bit on my foot to realise it is just pee and get on with my day without having a shower. Hi GBG, yeah I see a therapist regularly but I'm still struggling. I've also read numerous self help books. The problem is that even though they seem related, I don't feel relatable to them all the time. Like I'm just struggling with my judgement. It seems so simple Polar bear but I no longer can trust my own judgement as to when to best act and when not to. Like if I'm getting changed after a shower and my hand brushes my genitals, some people would say so what but I would have to thoroughly wash my hands. Or if I touch a dirty door (which is dirty). I feel like, how dirty does it have to be to care...
  11. I’m sorry but I’m really looking for solutions.
  12. So I just had a situation where I was washing my hands and I has such anxiety my legs were shaking violently. This isn’t right.
  13. Hi all, Really wanted to take the opportunity to get the stress that I have off my chest. I feel like I need somewhat of a refresher. Been on Aripiprazole now for about 6/7 weeks which has been pretty hard going over to but starting to come out the other side despite being on a weak dose. My OCD has been somewhat exacerbated since the change over and I find myself doing some things that I haven't done a lot of in a while like washing my hands a lot more than usual. I'm wondering if there are other things that I can do... One thing I have noticed that the hierarchical system that has been suggested where you rate things by how difficult they are and then take them on one at a time but I find that system difficult because a) there are so many and b) I just don't feel like doing them is not progressing anything. I think one of the sheer problems really is the number of different OCD problems from struggling to walk past a dirty walk or a bin to wondering whether I have urine on me. I genuinely don't know for example if everybody pees themself a little after they go for a pee. I always seem to have wet patches and then I spend ages avoiding anything touching my lap. I am constantly aware of anything dirty on the wall or doors and because of my brother there are a lot of stains on the wall from his food or drink that he spills. I actually feel like I have to ignore the feeling of worrying about touching things that I know aren't clean. Like, I know my brother pees, poos and touches himself and doesn't wash his hands and I have to handle the same things. The only other way around it is not touching anything. But feeling that I have touch them makes me sick. I can't even touch my used underwear without washing my hands and panicking and if I touch my privates, I really panic. I can't really touch my privates at all in any way. Or my bottom actually. It's all a mess and I'm really embarrassed, angry, confused, upset and other feelings. Plesse talk to me.
  14. Thanks PolarBear. Your kind words really help. I think I just needed some kind words today.
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