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Nikki79

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  1. Hi PB thanks for replying. I don’t know of a time when I’m not fixated on one thing or another honestly! It’s constant!
  2. Sorry guys just wondering does anyone have a response? I’m quite upset and confused 😐
  3. Hi guys, Im sorry to post but I’m very distressed right now. My little toddler was rubbing herself off my leg, which all little kids do and that was fine. It was obviously a trigger for me but I was managing ok and then my mind kind of ran off as she kept doing it. I became aware of my leg as she was running herself and felt it automatically move toward what she was doing although in reality I don’t think my leg moved much if at all. I felt a sense of intense panic and when I told my partner he said to me that it was wrong to do that and I shouldn’t be doing that but I tried to explain to him what happened. I couldn’t feel much worse now and it also has me thinking of similar past things like this that have happened and what would be think. 😞
  4. Oh wow it’s so tough isn’t it Taurean? Will you still be able to engage in your therapy?
  5. Thanks BM94 🙂 I haven’t realistically been able to forget it for more than 24 hours and even at that it was just more faded in my mind. I just see the worry there all the time. Yes I have to admit I’ve succumb to some rumination a few times on it also. I met too with a new therapist last week who I will be seeing regularly but I had to bring it up in that session. I feel talking about it brings it back to me but how can I get help for it unless I talk about it? I’m guessing the fear of it in every sense is keeping it alive.
  6. Hi guys, Hope you are all keeping safe and well during this difficult time with the Coronavirus. I’m just conscious of those like myself of us who will be more idle now and indoors and possibly in stressful situations at times. My reason for writing this even is just to look for some support and sorry for being selfish in doing that. I don’t like to but I just feel my intrusive worry bothering me so much and feel I need almost like a reset button to encourage me and help me move on with positivity and courage knowing ruminating about what I fear won’t help. Thanks friends...
  7. Is that not reassurance then dksea? Just thought it would be.
  8. My previous Therapist contactedme today to let me know Social Services called him and he asked did I give permission for them to do that and I said I did. He then texted me later to tell me that he told them I was the safest person in Ireland. God what a few weeks.
  9. Thanks Dksea I decided I won’t be pursuing anymore appointments with that lady. My primary concern is my OCD and she’s doesn’t seem to seeing that. I will keep looking for better help.
  10. Hi guys, craving some certainty this evening after I met with the Psychologist I spoke about. It just seems when you meet people who make you less sure you need the certainty even more in a way. She suggests going back into the past, finding out where the lack of self everything ( esteem, love, confidence) etc is coming from and working on that. She says it could took a long time. As a good friend of mine said you are in a mental health crisis with obsessive thoughts not over stuff from the past.
  11. Thanks for your support everyone. I am feeling strong and motivated today. 💪 I wish you all a very happy Friday x
  12. I will starting from now that’s what I’m going to do. No more OCD conversations in my head. I will really try 👌
  13. Thanks Caramoole 🙏 🤗 Ultimately we are just to ignore and refocus even when we are struggling to do so.
  14. I want that to be me too Caramoole not consumed with fear and doubt and a depression as a result. It’s like whenever I think yes I can do what they say then I see a thought coming in pointing that I might be guilty bla bla bla.....and I get pulled into ruminating and have to stop it but the upset remains. I have to work harder, I know.
  15. My fear regarding new medication is that it will make me a zombie or that it will have unpleasant side effects. However I need to feel better and enjoy my life, which currently I’m struggling to do. I know I need to take the bull by the horns, as it were and take the advice given. I sometimes feel like a child with so many fears on her first day of school ( and of course I was that child screaming for my Mum to take me home). I seem to need so much reassurance and hugs just to feel ok to do what has been advised to me. My confidence is low too for sure.
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