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Nikki79

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  1. Thanks Snow. I totally agree. I mean I can be just doing something mundane and a thought can catch me and make me feel terrible and that’s what I’m afraid of.
  2. Since the breakdown of my relationship I’m not a single Mother who is still living with her Ex. We have a three year old little girl together. Today I had some terrifying thoughts about managing alone and what will it be like, we will share custody but she will be with me half the time. I want to be happy and look forward to this but is it ok to say I’m scared. Thanks for listening x
  3. Thank you so much Hal and I’ve had a great day since so it’s totally worth it compared to wallowing in self hatred and pain for the day.
  4. Had some dodgy moments now this morning where my OCD really upset me but pushing past and recognizing the content is irrelevant and going to have a good day. We can do this 💪
  5. Hi guys, Today I met with my mental health team and I just wanted to share what the Dr. said to me in the hope it might inspire someone else to stand up and face the pain of OCD. He said to me you need to do the opposite of what OCD wants you to do. He means face the bully, we can do this 💪
  6. Thanks guys, I’m certainly locked in anxiety cos of not doing the right things but I’m trying again and really using what Snowbear said about; ‘Nope. Not going there. Not getting upset by that’. I’m using it over and over.
  7. So I’ve ERP everyday but then how come I’m not getting better?
  8. Well done you have done amazing. You should be so proud of yourself. You really knocked it on the head.
  9. And how are you now? Are you managing to live your life pretty much ok?
  10. I’m beginning to think you can never reason or think your way out of OCD so as you say if it feels like ocd then it’s time to accept it is and move on with your life. You will never get the answer you want so you have to recognize the thoughts and disengage as quick as you can or end up like me in a loop of them.
  11. I’ve made progress but then I slip back too. It’s frustrating. Because I’ve had OCD all my child’s life and had so many instances of it my mind tells me I’ve somehow tainted her and don’t wrong to her cos of it. I find that thought so hard to deal with it 😞
  12. Well the feeling after such thoughts is that oh my God I believe it, it’s true and then I feel just horrible, it’s a thought saying you should feel bad you are bad. Does that make sense? I wish I could do so much better DRS1. I really do.
  13. But DRS1 can I tell you that I even now have these thoughts that scare me saying all the anguish and pain I’m going through isn’t just ocd that it’s relevant and that it’s important etc etc. it’s a hard thought pattern to describe but that’s basically what it says, that it all means something, means I’ve done wrong etc and doing wrong.
  14. I have to be braver you know. I need to be to truly ditch the OCD for good.
  15. Like i wouldn’t bathe her for nearly two years cos I was scared of the thoughts I had and still have when I bathe her. Straight after I would feel I did wrong. Is it about doing what you should do and letting the thoughts go? Like I’m not lying when I say I can be wiping her or washing her bottom and think I’m doing wrong.
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