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Nikki79

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  1. I’m really going to take this on board. Thank you Taurean.
  2. Oh lol I can’t wait to have an easier life I can tell you that straight. I do hope you are continuing to improve and manage things better too. I’m really trying to ignore the intrusions and just focus my interest on the things that are worthwhile, my child, my self esteem, my interests again. I’m trying not to allow the thoughts that tell me I don’t deserve these things cos that’s more OCD nonsense as you say. You know what always kind of bothers me is thinking when will this current obsession subside and thinking will it ever but then looking back they always do eventually don’t they. It would be nice if it went faster I have to say! I think that is also where you can trip up to ‘rethink’ it or whatever and that’s what we really MUST not do. I’m just wishing I had an easier way of leaving it go..... and suggestions @taurean or @dksea? Hopefully some other readers will benefit from his post too x
  3. That’s a great post and even reading it I’m fully believing it and then I get a doubting moment but then this is the OCD right? It’s tough going for us but you are right Taurean .
  4. Thanks Taurean. I can’t explain it but that only a sense of well-being and calm has come over me and a different attitude.
  5. Hi guys just updating you to let you know I am know doing what you wonderful people said and also what Taurean said and believing the OCD is at work. No thoughts/worries are more important that others and I must treat them all the same. I’m not perfect but I’m getting there and thank you so much for all your tireless endless concern and support which I really appreciate. I want to beat this x
  6. I guess I have some work to do lol. I feel something is changing tho and things are coming a bit better for me. I am starting to believe it’s OCD and not me.
  7. I think that is where I’m at having put too much importance on to the latest thought worry and finding it harder to hear what people are saying and failing to believe in OCD.
  8. So I have to believe it’s all lies but then Taurean I get all these new thoughts about the worries that bother me giving me images that are familiar in some form and of course lead me to think there is truth in it.
  9. I’ve had to read that a few times to get that hang of it but it sounds pretty good. What kind of cbt will you pursue after this method then? I’m not sure have I ever done enough cbt to deal with ocd if I’m perfectly honest.
  10. Hi Bewildered I’m currently on 20mg Escitalopram and .5g Loraxapam twice daily
  11. Update I just heard from the Nurse and it’s going to be three weeks until I can see anyone to hep me. I really feel so low as I can’t go on the way I am going. I’m just existing and not living. Just wondering does anyone have any suggestions as what to do to help? Thanks Nicola
  12. Perhaps then delving into the why and what nots doesn’t help but I have to agree with Caramoole in saying my type of OCD is pretty horrible and don’t mean to take from anyone else who suffers from OCD as I know how debilitating it is indeed for everyone who has suffered. It was pretty awful having to speak to a Mental Health Nurse a few weeks ago who told me ( and just as a standard procedure) that if my child was in any way of danger she would have to report this to the authorities. The Nurse has also gone above and beyond herself to help me the last few weeks and she is has put me up the top of the list for urgent help. She trained under a Doctor who specialised in OCD in Dublin so she does seem to know her stuff. Guys thank you so much for all your written replies, I’m always so grateful for people who take the time out of their lives to help me, a stranger really who is having a very hard time. My God bless you all. You know I could have very easily decided not to have a child and allowed my OCD AGAIN to rob me of more beautiful life experiences and joys but I consciously chose to have my little girl always knowing in the back of my mind what happen. I have always tried to live around my illness and not in unison with it. It’s been very difficult since the age of 21 until 40 now to sustain jobs, relationships etc but I have always tried. The first diaper change my partner did as I was too scared but I can do them now most times without anxiety or compulsions. It just seemed to happen to me that from November 2019 until now I became retrospective and looked back at all the anxiety and stuff that happened since moving back to Ireland with her and that’s where the problems really arose and thinking of times of when maybe something happened etc.. I’m lucky to have a wonderful little girl however who makes life otherwise pretty easy for me. A little angel sent to me. My heart isn’t broken though and hope for brighter days.
  13. It’s constantly on my mind, constantly it’s so weird. I’m not sure how to shake it
  14. I’m also finding this new relaxer Med strange as it makes me comatose if I try nap when my baby naps and I wake up very panicky and fearful then as to whatever goes on whilst I’m asleep. Is it paranoia I wonder
  15. Oh I do want to get better but it’s just I get stuck on thoughts that find information about whatever my obsession is that make me further believe it might have happened. That’s my dilemma.
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