Nikki79

I’m really trying hard to not give into my OCD but I feel so disappointed today as I have in too easily this morning when anxiety overcame me whilst looking after my daughter. I felt compelled to go over the thoughts and then got reassurance aswell from my Father. I guess I’m not as far done the line as I had wanted to be, I just felt so anxious this morning the thoughts were strong.

I know my friend, I know what it’s like all to well. I wish you all the best also, you can beat this

I’m so glad you have good support and this forum has been a life saver to me as to many.

I know where you are coming from. The thing is tho this is all in our heads and as my friend said tonight it’s like an invisible illness. We must never lose hope tho that we can beat it, it’s within us I’m sure of it x

Sorry to hear that Jackie. I guess if we implement the right techniques like not engaging with the ocd we can do better x

I just want to be winning at this. Like us all I guess xx

There’s been a lot of conversation here about becoming an Ex- Sufferer and I really have to say I want to be one. I must be failing all round tho cos I just had a hard week with OCD thoughts and horrible fears but I so desperately want to be free from all of it. What’s the best advice anyone can give to overcome this disorder?

Hi Cam I think you know yourself what is good for you right now. Listen to your gut and if you have supports at work then certainly use them.

Hi Cam I’m so sorry to hear you feel this way. I personally think you aren’t ready to go back it you are feeling so bad. I did it once after a period of being out sick for six months I tried a phased return and I wasn’t able for that either. I ended up staying out longer. I do feel like of course you will have to go back someday but at least feeling 50% better than you do now would be much more enabling for you. Financially can you afford to stay out longer?

Hi Caramoole. I really slipped up bad this morning. I spent two hours ruminating and fighting hard not to fall into it again.

Thank you so much Lifewillbegood.

Not been so great at this today, it’s an upward battle tho, so still feel like I will get there just not straight forward.

I’ve been overall successful today and I do feel it getting easier as I practice so not going to beat myself up over not being 100% perfect today. Thank God rumination is something we can decide to stop and not automatic, this work practise and repetition could change my life

Hi Caramoole just want to say I’ve been really trying with the sentry guard but slipped up once or twice, the pull to ruminate when I get the fear is so strong

Yes my child just needs help as she is only 4 and still learning and plus nothing can be avoided or will do when you must take care of your child.

Thanks Caramoole, that sounds very inspiring. Thanks for sharing that.

Haha whack a mole totally! I had a bit of that today. You do get good pretty quickly at doing that aswell I noticed. The practise of it makes it easier too. Do you have to do it yourself Caramoole?

My own Sentry Guard, I like that analogy. It’s not going to be easy but with determination I can do it.

Sorry it just keeps going around and around my head. I must do better. I must use my tools which are accepting its ocd, carrying on without rumination. How’s that?

Caramoole what I’m stuck on is that I wiped her unnecessarily and then wiped her possibly where I think I’m doing bad so therefore now I think I’ve done bad. It’s what I can’t get away from. Does it even make any sense?

Thank you Snow, you are a rock of sense. I truly appreciate your input.

But here’s my problem I’m wiping my daughter I get scared I hover over her area cos I’m scared then I kind of wipe it abruptly and really fast cos I’m scared and then I think I’ve done wrong. So it’s like an action then I feel

Well done NorthPaul sounds wonderful x

Yes cbt was good and erp to an extent. I’m on meds for OCD all the time. Sometimes when I have the worst experience I have to remind myself it’s the OCD. That’s what happened Friday night after wiping her I then did it again unnecessarily with all thoughts etc going through my mind and observations after about what I did. I still feel like I did wrong but yes I just tell myself it’s OCD.

I’ve done all the therapy etc. how can I not feel anxious going to do this and what about the stuff that comes at me when I do wipe her?