BelAnna

Fibromyalgia is just a diagnosis of exclusion- so it basically means that a patient has unexplained distributed pain and/or fatigue so it's not something to worry about. It can have lots of different causes and is not a disease in itself but a collection of unexplained symptoms. Anxiety could definitely be worse at times when you are alone, depressed or not actively thinking about other things. I definitely find my anxiety and some of my OCD thoughts are worse in those situations. You could always see whether if you engage in an activity/hobby when you're alone, the aching is less noticeable?

Hi Sophhh, It's completely possible that this is caused by anxiety- you could be hyperventilating with anxiety (without necessarily appearing to have a panic attack) or tensing muscles through anxiety. It's also possible that it's something like a mild virus, which might disappear within the next few days. If it carries on for more than a week then you should pop into a Pharmacy or try to get a phone call appointment with a GP but provided you do not have a high temperature, a rash etc. and do not feel terribly unwell then it doesn't sound like a big deal.

Thanks Gingerbreadgirl, I really just need to remind myself of that! Thanks Taurean, that's a helpful analogy!

Thanks so much for your help daja, Taurean, OCDhavenobrain and jenkijunki! I do sort of know that these thoughts are Ego-dystonic and potentially affected by Depression but it's so difficult to disregard them. It sort of horrifies me that I could think so little of other people- very odd! I often feel empty and purposeless and have been having thoughts that love, affection, connectedness etc. are all just meaningless constructs BUT these thoughts are just thoughts as you all say. Thank you

I have started having odd slightly sociopathic thoughts that no-one and nothing matters/counts/is significant and that it doesn't matter what happens to anyone. I guess these are OCD thoughts, although they're a bit more unusual than normal ones. In some respects I feel apathetic towards these thoughts, which is worrying. On the other hand I really want these thoughts to disappear- I want to care about people, their feelings/emotions and the world around me. Has anyone had similar OCD thoughts?

That's amazing BigDave. Really inspiring!

Could you just change it: What could I do differently with my life NOW? What kind of person can I work towards being? What can I do to give my life meaning? Sure you're not 20 but you still have years to live and enjoy life. Or you could waste the next 10 years on this.

Hi Bruces, This counts as rumination really. I do it too. I think the best way to deal with it is to postpone the rumination- e.g. think to yourself 'I will ruminate for one hour at 9pm' and then every time a 'what if' thought comes into your head, you decide to wait until 9pm before you will think about it. Then get on with activities, hobbies etc.

That makes sense Wren; that we have pre-existing semantic networks, including narratives, which are easily added to and so our OCD narratives are easily added to. I guess that reinforces the importance of the 'Cognitive' element of CBT- that challenging belief sets and creating new narratives is important. I need to remember this!

That's an interesting article although I'm not sure it really explains how to ensure that you think about the things that you want to 'store' and not the things that needing to be subject to pruning! I wonder whether for OCD sometimes our focus needs to be on 'doing' rather than 'thinking'; whether that's working or engaging in hobbies. If we try not to think about things we get the whole 'I must not think about purple elephants (*now I can't stop thinking about purple elephants) scenario. The connections involved in the thinking that those actions involve, might then take precedence over the OCD thoughts and lead to pruning away of the OCD connections.

Hi Lost, That sounds really stressful! I'm currently living with my family too and although the whole house doesn't look like a Hoarders house there are 20+ bin bags full of dirty laundry, which I consider 'too dirty to touch/wash' and I'm so scared of germs that I do prevent my family cleaning/tidying quite often.Do you hoard because you think the possessions have emotional value or because you cannot clean/tidy them? If it's the latter than it's not true hoarding disorder but is just a symptom of OCD. My family are moving soon too and the stress of house viewings and the anticipatory anxiety about how I'll cope with a new rental property, which is potentially 'contaminated' are difficult to cope with so I can imagine how you feel about renting. Don't worry too much about labels at the moment but if in the future you are able to see a Psychiatrist then getting a diagnosis/multiple diagnoses might help when seeking treatment. When you claim PIP you are allowed to discuss symptoms that you have, even if you are yet to be diagnosed so you can mention the possible BPD/ASD symptoms and hoarding etc. and go into detail, as this might help your claim.

Hi Paul, All anti-depressants can make you feel sick and anxious to begin with so those might or might not be side effects.

That's fab Whitebeam. Thank you so much for sharing! Can I just ask what you fear of contamination was based upon? (e.g. were you fearful of contracting infections; of contracting serious diseases and/or of dying or was it something else)

Hi Amewhat, The main (and possibly only NHS) alternative to Springfield is Bethlem Royal Hospital, Anxiety Disorders Residential Unit. I spent time there in 2013 after visiting Springfield and deciding not to be admitted there. I had a very mixed experience at the ADRU at Bethlem though so I'm not sure whether I would recommend staying there! The average treatment stay is 12 weeks, you do have CBT 3-5 days each week; there are multiple daily Occupational therapy sessions (e.g. cookery, art class, pottery, mindfulness class etc.) and you may benefit from being around other OCD sufferers. Have you had much treatment since your treatment at Springfield?

Hi Lost, That really sucks. If you could borrow the money from your parents or a friend to pay for a passport then it's worth trying to do that- the timing of it would probably still mean that you'd need to start a new claim though. I'm not sure whether they could help or not but you could try ringing Citizens Advice (or asking a family member to phone on your behalf). It's hardly fair if you are too ill to leave the house and are therefore unable to access the benefits to which you're entitled. I'm sorry you've been housebound since 2012, that must be so awful. I have been very restricted to my house, in that I don't go to shops, hairdressers, the dentist, the GP etc. but I do leave the house at least every other day for a quick dog walk- I can cope because we walk in the countryside otherwise I'd really struggle. What were things like pre-2012 for you?