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BelAnna

Bulletin Board User
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    Sufferer

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  1. Oh Cub, it sounds like you're having an absolutely awful time. Please give yourself a break, you don't need to be better/try harder or be holier and if years of church taught me anything it's that God is known to be compassionate and forgiving and that Jesus came so that people could live life to the full/abundantly. I come from a Christian family and I am sort of Christian-agnostic now;I have times when I believe in God and times when I don't! I honestly do think though that your thoughts about God telling you to do stuff that you don't want to do; to be perfect etc. are just OCD. If you imagine that they are similar to the thoughts of a person with schizophrenia with auditory hallucinations/voices that they attribute to God- these thoughts would feel very real but be the product of faulty neurochemistry- the same is true here. I know this because I have scrupulosity OCD too. So for now it's probably best to consider any negative religious thoughts as OCD. You can come back to them when you're in a better place. Think instead about ways to get better from this horrible illness! Also I was just wondering - have you had any bereavement counselling because it sounds like there is a traumatic element (PTSD type aspects) to things at the moment? (sorry if I'm wrong). Thinking of you! xx
  2. Hi @cashewnutsandraisins, Welcome to the forum! Don't worry about self-diagnosing - if you have distressing intrusive thoughts of an unrealistic or exaggerated nature (to differentiate it from 'Generalized Anxiety Disorder') that are affecting you for at least an hour a day or are impacting on important areas of your life and you make attempt to suppress, neutralise or seek reassurance for these thoughts; then you have OCD. GPs aren't experts in mental health so when they diagnose, they just follow the ICD diagnostic criteria and some are actually unaware of the various ways that OCD presents and so more likely to diagnose 'Generalised Anxiety Disorder'; this is particularly the case if someone doesn't have obvious external compulsions (as opposed to neutralising/ruminating). When you see the GP you don't need to go into the details of your intrusive thoughts- you can just say that you have intrusive thoughts that you find distressing and you try to neutralise or ruminate on them and you ask for reassurance as compulsions. If they don't offer CBT and don't suggest it might be OCD then you can ask for a referral to a Psychiatrist or Psychologist for an assessment. In the meantime the OCDuk shop has some good self-help books that you could have a look at! I hope you can beat the OCD so that you can live the lovely life that it sounds like you have built for yourself!
  3. Thanks for this Ashley! This is such a helpful thought ^^^ Please don't underestimate the huge impact that your devotion to your career has had for so many OCD sufferers. Also it might help to keep in mind that your chance for a future, marriage and kids isn't over at 47 (men can father kids into their 50s/60s+). OCD has had a huge impact on all areas of my life too- I can feel very sad and lost over the whole thing but it would be great if it could also motivate me to make more changes!
  4. Hi Hopeforthefuture, It might help to sit down and discuss her OCD worries (and maybe some legitimate concerns) when things are calmer.
  5. Hello, I have several OCD 'themes'. One of them (and I know it sounds odd) is about responsibility for my Golden Retriever and constantly worrying that she will come to harm by eating something sharp or toxic. Because of this she only stays in two rooms in our house (the living room in the day and a bedroom at night; she does also get taken for walks and into the garden on a lead). We have a gate blocking her from getting into the kitchen and a fireguard to block her from getting into the hallway/upstairs. Just now I was on Netflix in the living room and a member of my family walked through and left both gates open. I didn't notice so carried on watching a programme (for about 5-10 minutes). I suddenly noticed that I had not closed the gates and panicked- I am now unsure whether the reason that I suddenly noticed what had happened was because the dog was walking around the living room and if that's the case then maybe she went in the kitchen or I might have imagined the whole thing and she might have been lying down the whole time? I have absolutely no recollection because my attention was elsewhere. My fear is that my dog got into the kitchen. That she then ate stuff from the floor (our kitchen/utility room area is messy with some socks strewn on the floor and moldy crumbs etc. plus other dropped items that I cannot pick up due to my contamination fears- I'm also particularly concerned there could be sterilizing tablets) and might now die because of it. How do I deal with/manage/challenge this thought? My plan so far is to attempt to distract myself and then just plan to be more careful next time. What would be a better way to deal with this?
  6. Hi Ashley, That's great that you've got Prof Salkovskis for a webchat. I am feeling much less safe since the Prime Minister's announcement last night. We still have a lot of cases and daily deaths and I'm scared that telling construction workers and those that need to be in their workplaces to go back to work, might lead to a surge in cases. During Lockdown, particularly in the past fortnight, (with the R rate below 1 and most people staying at home), I was starting to feel safe about our weekly shops (I don't go myself but do wipe packets down) and walks but I'm concerned about those again now. A personal concern I have is that my Mum (who I live with) works in a non-key worker health profession and will be in close contact with lots of patients in a few weeks time- she's over 60 and I imagine my contamination concerns will become even more problematic when that happens. I think that the vagueness of the new 'rules' also plays into my OCD doubts and for me at least, adds to feelings of uncertainty- OCD loves doubt!
  7. Hi JennieLouise, I can really empathise with how you're feeling at the moment as I often feel as though whole areas of our house have become contaminated and I then find it really hard to use anything from a room/area. Keep in mind that it's very possible that his phone and your food packets don't have Covid-19 on them. This would mean that your kitchen is not contaminated at all. This is actually more likely than not. Secondly if his phone and the food packets are covered in Covid then he is touching these things so often that he would probably catch it anyway so there is not too much point in you being so careful when he is not. So it's most likely that the kitchen is not contaminated at all (with Covid); if it is then it doesn't really make any difference and you can still get food/be in the kitchen. If it helps then you could request that your partner either doesn't take his phone to the supermarket or that he wipes it. That would not be OCD but a sensible precaution with Covid-19 around (obviously it makes no sense to wash your hands after going to the supermarket and then touch your phone, which you have handled there). In our house we are wiping packaging and whoever shops leaves their phone and wallet at home (just takes a credit/debit card with them) and showers and changes when they get home as an intensive care doctor was advising it early on in the outbreak.
  8. That's really difficult! I had similar when in a student flat when the students opposite decided to post my shoes, that I had left in the hallway through my personal letterbox! Obviously I felt like the shoes were contaminated so it made me panic. I don't think that there is much that you can do legally unfortunately because she is not really behaving in a way that most people would consider unreasonable or harmful- of course it makes your life even harder though! Is there any way that you could put the wipes into a plastic food bag and pop them inside your own door or buy a reacher (like a rubbish picker-upper) to pick up the wipes with so that you can transfer them to the bin more quickly? Alternatively you could put a small bathroom bin, just inside your door and use that OR put one just outside your door and hope that your neighbour is not such a dick that they move the bin! If you are using them to clean the ground though then the reacher could work better.
  9. Hi OP, I also struggle with anger as a consequence of my OCD. I have never tried a standard anti-psychotic but have taken 'Domperidone', which works on the dopamine receptors in the same way as traditional anti-psychotics (e.g. Risperidone)- it seemed to help some of my OCD thoughts but made me feel very down (I took it as an anti-sickness tablet).
  10. Yum! Those apple crumbles and biscuits sound delicious.
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