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  1. I have the fear of being fired as well. Personally, I abhor banter cos usually someone is being laughed at or teased or bullied. Hate how it is part of workplace life. All you have mentioned is OCD.
  2. Orwell1984

    Period panic

    You'll have to contact your doctor and ask them to refer you to a reproductive endocrinologist because hormonal problems due to PCOS cause bleeding all the time. Losing weight helps regulate hormones as well. Do you still have fears about contacting the doctor or is it easier to do now?
  3. Hopefully the EMDR will bring down your distress levels in general so that logic will win in the end and the emotions won't be distracting you from your goals x
  4. Orwell1984

    Having awful time at work

    Bruces, totally understand and empathise.
  5. This book drove me round the bend in analytical knots. Very bad book for me anyway. This would be great! An online book club which would also help steer people away from reassurance seeking on the site! A healthy activity to choose! 👍
  6. Well tough. The only way to get over the intrusive thoughts and groinal responses is through them. You have to feel them. Rather they'd get worse and you'd be on a course of therapy rather than them getting worse when the reassurance you're getting here does not work anymore. Imagine that- one day the reassurance will not be enough for your OCD and you'll have no therapy to help you bounce back. It's a matter of time before the main compulsions of posting on OCDUK and analysing therapy choices won't be enough to neutralise your fears. And because of all the reassurance you'll have gotten, the obsessions will be stronger and harder to overcome when you finally do submit to therapy.
  7. You need to ring the mcleancentre and talk to them. That's the only decision you have to take. The rest is rumination fluff.
  8. These three threads from 2015 are all about wondering are you doing your therapy correctly: Is there anything wrong with saying, "Don't give into a compulsion for two weeks?" Delaying a compulsion IS a compulsion? It's not me; it's my OCD Ryukil replied to Ryukil's topic in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Well the problem is, for me...if someone suggests that I'm treating my OCD in the wrong way, then I will begin to obsess Of course you don't know what they'll say in the hospital. On their website they said that a part time program is for those who need more structure than an outpatient program but dont need to be a full time inpatient. Have you spoken to McLean on the phone or via email? They might give you the push you need to get in there and commence. Financially you're not held back. Your OCD doubt limbo is holding you back.
  9. Ryukil. Just get into that hospital. There will be more than one professional in there who will help you so you will have the best therapy that fits your individual situation. This thread is now just more rumination. Hospital and take it from there. You have proven you cannot do ERP effectively on your own and your OCD is so strong you are getting caught in cognitive loops. You cannot think your way out of it. Past threads and this one have proven that. Get out of rumination limbo. You have had various forms of the 'doing therapy correctly' obsession since 2015. Time to call time on it and just check into the clinic you mentioned. Three years on this obsession is a waste and mental hell im sure. Just do it.
  10. I guess you didn't read this then. Check yourself into a hospital because it doesn't look like you will try the option of dropping the spade for a month.
  11. It is very hard and I think it is nigh on impossible if you don't distance yourself from it. Polar bear suggests staying away for all things OCD for a while. I agree with this. More time outside of the mind would be the best thing at the moment. Build up the serotonin levels in your brain by doing things that are rewarding and preferably outside so you can get vitamin D. Both are conducive to brain function and it will be easier to make a decision then (in a month say) and the thought process won't be as sticky or fraught with fear. So 'be external' and adopt a 'this does not need deciding now' approach to the alarm bells that come with the thoughts and questions. You will be more receptive to any therapy when you are in a less internal, less mentally sticky mode.
  12. Andrew I can completely relate. And the cop out response from the perpetrators is 'oh it's your perception' or 'you're telling yourself these things' when your therapist and people not close to the issue can clearly see your concerns and uphold them as valid. Look up 'gaslighting'. This may explain some of the people in your life who are guilty of these behaviours on a frequent basis. Good luck and keep believing in yourself.
  13. Orwell1984

    Cognitive before behavioural

  14. Orwell1984

    Please help

    And this is what OCD does. All of the wondering and delving into your memories and what you think are you memories and trying to differentiate between the two is rumination and compulsion. It will only serve to make the feeling of 'I did it' worse. You need to stop doing the analysis. It will feel bad and unnatural for a while but it's the only way the clarity will come to you and that clarity could be months away. The longer you keep doing your compulsions, the longer it will take to get the clarity.
  15. Orwell1984

    Please help

    I think your partner saying he'll kill himself is actually the fuel behind your OCD. It has heightened the fear anxiety and sense of risk no doubt. It's a pity and quite selfish that he uses that line. I had an ex who did similar. That's emotional manipulation and control whether your partner wants to believe that or not. Please get a therapist and talk this through with them. You need someone with clarity and without the OCD goggles to help you with your OCD and how to approach your partner on other matters. He can't just say that he will kill himself to you. That's not on. He's bound to know those threats would make your anxiety problems worsen.