Veryblue

Thank you for responding. Ashley is aware of the situation and I’m going to forward him a copy of a report into the treatment the psychologist sent me.

We have a different healthcare system here and unfortunately it’s not as simple as finding another therapist.

Thanks as always for responding. The therapist I had wasn’t the greatest listener. She insisted on at least three occasions in the final sessions that when I started I was practically housebound and had made substantial progress. This is simply not true as I always forced myself to do chores in the garden, DIY outside, go to the supermarket etc. She wasn’t able or willing to take my challenge of her claim onboard. There were several other big claims too. As far as there being any “proof” I was told I had to have try another medication and have another round of CBT locally. Without wanting to come across as paranoid I think they could argue what I had wasn’t CBT so I still haven’t fulfilled the criteria. Last year I had no choice but to accept the EMDR and even though I was not happy about it I didn’t go to the sessions with an attitude or preconceived idea it was nonsense. It was only really towards the end it hit me: “This is doing nothing. I have NO coping strategies” etc. Ive made it clear for several years that I feel an inpatient setting would be appropriate for me and the psychiatrist who I’ve not seen for nearly a year is aware of this and made an Individual Funding Request which then led to the assessment with the psychologist and EMDR. If I get a face to face appointment soon I’m going to be extremely insistent about a referral elsewhere as I played ball. If he says I’m being discharged from the team’s care it’s possible I might lose my temper verbally. I’ve been pushed and pulled, manipulated and lied to for years. I hope this all makes sense!

I didn’t want to post emotionally the day my therapy - EMDR as nothing else was being offered - ended as it occurred to me that a time of reflection would be helpful. Six weeks on my conclusion is that for me anyway EMDR was not particularly helpful for OCD. Furthermore I also believe that EMDR was offered for OCD but really what “they” wanted to focus on was childhood trauma which was discussed way more than I anticipated. The therapist talked about herself and her own life a LOT and swore from time to time with a kind of “oops!” attitude. I played their game and even have it in writing that I was committed to the sessions. I was told last year that if this didn’t help and I finished the course a referral at least for an assessment elsewhere would be considered. I’m not holding my breath. In fact I’m anticipating being discharged from the “care” of the community mental health team. Adding: I also think the therapist took it personally when I said it wasn’t helping with a couple of sessions left. She looked extremely annoyed. She then - out of the blue - suggested I might have OCPD. Bizarre!

Honestly what a waste of time. Plus the gaslighting attempt! Now the community mental health team is likely to blow me out despite my emphasising what a struggle I have with OCD on a daily basis still! Unbelievable.

Thanks Angst. Yes you’re right about it being a leading question. I’ll see if it’s possible to upload the form - which I didn’t take with me much to her surprise.

It’s my last appointment tomorrow with the EMDR therapist I reluctantly started seeing last October. As I said in a previous post and this is just my opinion - I think it’s totally useless for OCD. I’ve got this form I’m meant to fill in and take with me called a Wellness Action Plan. Question 1: What kind of positive changes have I made in therapy that I need to maintain? If I was to write down an answer it’d be “none”. Does this seem inappropriate? Genuine question. I’ve no real answers to the other questions beyond “don’t know”, “not sure”, “nobody” etc.

I agree with you!

Yeah I’ve told her I don’t believe the therapy has helped. It was all I was offered - EMDR. She said “we’d have to agree to disagree” which is ludicrous.

As I come to the end of my sessions of non-ERP therapy the person I’ve been seeing is adamant I’m a lot better than last October when I first started seeing her. I don’t believe I’ve improved hardly at all. As always though there’s a part of me not trusting what I think although really I’m more or less as afraid as I was six months ago. Why would she say that though ?

Thank you! Yeah they sure don’t like people writing letters of complaint that’s for sure and rally round the one being complained about it. All the community mental health teams in Cardiff have mostly dreadful reviews online and not just from patients but families of patients who self-harmed - and worse. Nothing seems to change - well things seem to be getting worse. Near us is the relatively new inpatient/outpatient mental health unit at Llandough Hospital which replaced Whitchurch some years back. It’s horrible to visit, it’s horrible outside and there’s a very menacing vibe. Also lots of unsupervised people unfortunately in the grips of I assume psychosis hassling others outside. I’ve been there a couple of times for assessments and “concerns” meetings. I hate the place.

There are triggers everywhere around me and I kind of came to the realisation several years (particularly after being told I was “ treatment resistant”) ago that my only options were psychosurgery or an intense inpatient treatment program. Thankfully the psychosurgery idea is not one I consider much now. As you may/ may not recall I made a huge complaint about the head of the OCD treatment service in the health trust and it’s not likely that service will take me on for reasons Ashley and I have discussed together and also in a “concerns” meeting he participated in virtually with some senior mental health professionals from the trust.

After everything I went through with two community mental health teams I had no choice but to accept the offer of EDMR. It wasn’t what I wanted or felt I needed but the alternative was - nothing. I committed to it and have only cancelled one session since last October - the therapist cancelled three on the day - and engaged with the process to the best of my ability. It’s a very intense experience which can leave you feeling wiped after the session. The aim seems to be that by role playing, visualising and talking the thought/experience or whatever becomes less severe. In my opinion it worked relatively well for my PTSD but for OCD it seems as though I felt “better” while “in” the session but this lasted a very short time afterwards if that makes sense? Also I’ve no more coping strategies now than I did last October. I’ve really tried to keep an open mind about EMDR which is why I didn’t post here about it until now when it’s a few weeks from ending. In terms of the future I still feel very strongly that I need to be in an inpatient setting which I told the psychiatrist over and over again and which a funding request was made for last year. He and I were told I needed to complete another round of CBT locally and EMDR has nothing to do with CBT so the powers that be could still argue local options haven’t been exhausted. I’ve been going round in circles for years as Ashley knows. I hope the above is helpful. Feel free to ask me any more questions.

It stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It’s supposed to help with traumatic experiences and conditions like PTSD and is also being used for some anxiety disorders.

Well the EMDR therapy that I had no choice but to accept is three sessions from ending and as far as OCD goes I’ve made very little progress. In fact in some respects I’m worse. I’m once again in a position where despite utter exhaustion from liver disease and OCD I have to fight to access the treatment I was pleading for years ago. I’m sorry to not provide any more information - I’ve posted before on the subject - as I’m wiped out but needed to vent.

I’d be careful about how much you reveal. They often have very limited knowledge of mental health conditions. In my experience they’re great when it comes to talking generally but not so great when it comes to the nitty gritty of OCD.

Doesn’t seem strange to me within the context of OCD. I’ve experienced similar thoughts intermittently for years.

Well he’s hardly going to ban medication for mental health issues.

They are only thoughts.

Thanks

Hello! Does anyone know if there are studies about EMDR as a treatment (alone or combined with CBT/ERP) for OCD?

You’re an inspiration mate. I always took a lot from your posts and comments.

Legend! I always remember you writing “same meat, different gravy”!

I said “not always”. I didn’t say “not ever.” I’m glad you’ve had more positive experiences.