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Everything posted by Kcbell92

  1. im an American i gotta go with USA! but i love chatting with all of you form england here
  2. I appreciate you understanding, and speaking of my situation as an example to that dont be ashamed if you do relapse for many different reasons, however i dont want people to think its okay to begin wanting to ruminate but more to learn from your ocd relapse and grow from it. Tomorrow is always a better day, and everything is going to work out. You make your life and yourselves therefore your mindset, what you want to! by the way like every time before the issue i had in my mind with my friend worked itself out again today
  3. I had recently had a bad anxiety issue despite myself being very well regarding my worries for losing the friend im very friendly with now based off what others used to do, but in the end i just learned to continue to live in life, the friend is going to eventually get back to me as theyve said and done for a couple years now, but generally speaking but sometimes over time i learn that the friend isnt angry about me asking something or saying something i feel they wont accept or want like and be angry and even anger has nothing to do with the friend not wanting to do anything with me anymore and if they didnt like when i called and texted a lot of overbearing moments and the friend got upset but they told me if i call here and there they know im not being like that and i have to seperate my thoughts from reality and my friend would have just forgot over time anyways. i feel bad i relasped but im trying to find my way again, though im confident i will
  4. I used to have those worries with myself and my health when seeing friends and family because I’ve been done dirty by friends and always wanted to make the most out of my experiences and I used to think if god forbid I had any type of slight soar throat feeling, I wouldn’t enjoy it and I’ll get severely sick and such. Just know that when this happens, your compulsions are making you fixated on it. It’s not your fault it’s common sense to decide to do what you did, and there’s other issues that could cause Covid sickness and others for you and your family. Don’t think into it and realize as time goes on and your keeping your mind off of it, it’s gonna get better, the more your gonna ruminate on it, the more serious It becomes to you and the mor you discuss it and the more it bothers you
  5. i also forgot to add dont seek re assurance from others, its a compulsion which you seem to react alot off of ruminate to like i used to do so much
  6. Well firstly, I had similar past issues and trauma because of it along with alot of regret and when i was diagnosed with ocd in 2016 being i already knew i had aspergers before that at 10 years old in 2002. I often would ruminate for hours a day every day and not even realzing what i was doing, and feeling regret for issues with old friends that changed and i couldnt control what them or others i compared them to did, but eventually I accepted i had ocd, and i used to mask my ruminating with gambling which im almost a year clean from following a small setback in janaury of this year, point is you have to confront your worries and understand your acting off ptsd from others and nothing more, take the posiitve situation your currently in and also take the happy "in the moment" feeling. Understand your worries arent anywhere as serious as you think and think otherwise to other things and keep your mind occupied. It took me years of CBT, i never thought i could learn to cope with my ocd but between CBT and meds i did, and now i live on healthier and happier then ive been in years
  7. yes you should see your doctor, i spoke to mine back when i had triggering thoughts, and/or bad dreams and i would immediatly compare it with the biggest worry and/or situation going on. It could be a medication issue or just something CBT would help with or both. Talk to someone, it'll help!!
  8. I had the same worry when I first went on a trip with the new friend I used to compare to the old bad friend and me and the new friend at first had an argument at Hershey park an amusement park, more of a disagreement but still, and I was worried d it’ll ruin the next two days on the trip and then all went well and fine and we were both so thankful we talked it out and had a great Trip! It’ll all be ok
  9. I have done the same thing with my ptsd with comparing worries, especially that one friend to another friend issue which I’ve now moved on from. But you have to take the most out of where you are and what you can positive minded. Don’t let negative issues of illogical and irrelevant worries affect you. Glad you enjoyed the time with your family and distracted your mind from this worry
  10. reach out to me too if you need. I used to suffer greatly from nerves and stress and i constantly used to post it here, not even seeing the reality of why i was suffering from nerves and extreme sensitivity from OCD, I was giving into my compulsions and acting on them.
  11. I want to be a voice to all sufferers of ocd. I had it very bad at one point where I felt like giving up and just always failing in life. I had worries about one friend not dealing with me anymore for stupid reasons because another one did and I had worries of my car sounds and movements creating a situation where my car is destroyed and ant pimple on my body making me die soon, but I’ve learned in reality it’s all just illogical untrue unrealistic worries and acting on my compulsions and seeking re assurance is just going to worsen the issue. I know I have to just give my friend time and if he was angry and didn’t want to deal with me he would just tell me right away. And if my car makes noises and still drives it’s fine and if it’s a pimple just let it be and if it’s of any concern have a doctor check it it should be fine. Just please know everyone that everything will be fine. Your worries are just worries and most aren’t even going to happen at all, especially in the way you feel, it’s how you perceive it and how you react on it which makes it worse when you begin ruminating. Always trust the words of @PolarBear and @snowbear they’ll help you like they helped me. Stay strong
  12. Thank you so much! I'm on just Luvox currently and anxiety meds when needed, but i dont use them much, as my aneixty isnt overtaking my life, especially with my worries. My CBT is through a recovering gambling helpline center, as I am now 9 months clean of gambling, and its paid for through the system of that, I live in USA as well, New York in particular.
  13. I just realized how long its been since I have actively posted on this site, and since remaining on my medication solidly without any breaks for any reasons, and continuing my productive CBT, I've begun to just look back at my worries and compulsions i acted on non stop and ruminated on like crazy so much and i just think about how far ive come and I am doing so well, and when i have worries and compulsions, most i look at just as irrelevant, and irrational worries from like PTSD, and just general worst case thinking and ill ruminate slightly but understand its all in my head and its going to be fine and never is what i think it is with my worries without general proof. I am just proud of myself and my improvements, and because of that, every day i wake up, go through my daily motions and schedule and mindset correctly and easily and as planned for the most part, not letting my OCD stop me at all. Thank you so much to @PolarBear and @snowbear and @Caramoole amongst others who have helped me through this.
  14. I've been on my meds about 2 weeks now and already I'm feeling tremendous improvements in my mind and i know it's just going to increase. I still do cbt and it definitely helped me, but ive realized situations even at worst case and/or scenarios that can looked out outside the box like regarding not seeing my friend though still talking to them and thinking at one time they don't want to see me and dont mean they care about me and so on, but now i see i can talk to them alot more then i see them and they can see there longer tenured friends more often and it doesnt mean they dont care and its a great feeling. what makes medication helful to your mind with cbt though?
  15. No you can’t, and I’ve learned that in my recovery. And also don’t always look for re assurance in your compulsions and we all do it here because we have ocd and always make it worst case and want people to re assure us it’s fine and everything is okay, and even if it is and people say it’s fine and okay too, you may feel a temporary relief but the anxiety and compulsion will just find it’s way back and even worse because people are answering you, therefore feeding into your compulsion. I am happy and proud of you though and I know how it feels
  16. I put my thoughts and compulsions as just that and fight through and I do it. You can too
  17. I do yes and your welcome. I work 55-65 hours a week and it can be very mentally draining but I get through it
  18. Stay strong!! I deal with it too, you too will overcome it like I do
  19. I recently have realized again through CBT and im going to start a new medication in 3 weeks but as of now it’s weakened clearly again but anyway I noticed regarding what’s my worst ocd worry issue is definitely the friendship situation I’ve mentioned so many times, and I realized the reason I am comparing this good new friend now to the old friend especially now in the sense of bailing out and not meaning nice things they say about me bc the old friend always said great things about me and then always bailed out and every other detail I said. But lastly, generally speaking it’s very based off of Trauma triggers. I remember someone here saying obviously there’s an underlining connection between this friend and the new friend and otherwise then that I’ve realized I’m very triggered and sensitive to my friend now just telling me that he’s with other friends sometimes and otherwise posting pics and videos, bc that’s what the old friend did right after bailing out on me a lot too. And I just am trying to separate the traumas triggers bc then I do CBT techniques and they help, but then suddenly hours later my mind wanders onto Trauma triggers and worst case thinking and then it immediately has me saying and convincing myself that “this new friend is not going to do anything positive at all and is going to do and only means to do everything worst case in every way always” i don’t know why I’m back to this level and I think a change in meds plus continued CBT can help but I’m having extreme anxiety that when we’re gonna hangout June 4 right before this friend will bail out again and I have to separate myself from that
  20. Hey thank you. Even with all the Truama I’ve suffered from at a young age in life, I’ve learned to just overcome it. Don’t pity my past and my mistakes and even issues I had no control over, live on move on, grow from it. Being i work 60-70 hours a week, I am keeping busy and being positive, now I’m attending a New York Mets baseball game this weekend. Everything is going to be okay, and CBT is the king therapy for me, I’ve learned tremendous amounts from it
  21. Yes thank you and I understand what your doing and trying to just have me see by not “being nice” and such is all just to help me in the end as I realized it does, now when I do have occasional ruminating moments off obsessions, I actually don’t ask others for re assurance bc I know it’s not gonna help only badly hurt me so I learn to counter it on my own and understand the worry for what it really is, just a worry. Nothing more, never severe if it is bad at all in the end and there’s always ways around it, life goes on
  22. I, as most of you know suffer from ocd that tends to trigger and i ruminate insanely and I tend to often get depressed and feel like the world is turning in on me and just me. But recently I’ve begun to take advice from CBT and some of the main members here like admins that always write to me. @PolarBearmade me realize that I was completely reacting on my compulsions and making it so much worse. But the accomplishment feeling I get more then not from knowing I am overcoming the worries and accepting them as just obsessions and not ruminating over it is awesome. On a regular basis I’m beginning to become stronger and more focused on every day life and what’s better to come in the future. So thank you all
  23. I realized after reading this I was acting on compulsions again rather then logic and reality, like I get with the money issues car issues friendship issues too. And I distracted myself with watching shows and reading free books and stories I like and then just let time pass, realizing I was just completely giving into my compulsions and it all worked out fine
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