Kcbell92

So just leave it to them doing all they can fix as they can fix all they have the ability to do until they finally fix enough issues which they are able to fix to make sure there are no more issues to fix to cause light to come on, so I can take it in soon for inspection?

Because again, what if the light stays on no matter what he fixes and he fixes every issue and its still on what if he is unable to fix the issues that caused the light to be on from the codes and/or unable to figure out what issue to fix that caused the light on from the codes what if the people saying how he’ll be able to fix every issue eventually to make sure light stays on are wront How will I get to work and save money for a newer car with all my hard earned money after being used for that insane amount of money in 2021

Is there something behind this

But my worry @PolarBear is I was worried that mechanic will say, that he can’t fix and can’t figure out what to fix, or both, to stop the issues that cause the light on. So the light will stay on forever and I can’t get it inspected to be Able to drive the car next year and I can’t afford a newer one for another year or so But others told me that no matter what the issue, when he checks the codes, he’ll be able to see all the options he has to fix the issue that is causing the light to go on and no matter what he has to fix, to be able to stop all the issues in every way from causing the light to go on, he’ll be able to fix every issue that is connected with the codes that is causing the light to be on. the light issue is a lot more important then a “little light bulb”

I’m losing sleep and I’m waking up gasping for air over This, based off the general concept behind what I texted you above

Unlike previous worries recently. This one is more serious and actually makes a difference, long story short my car has to go for yearly inspection in New York. And it was due end of august. I had a check engine light on, (can’t pass with it on) and my mechanic figured that he’ll try to replace a piece. I was going to go Monday for inspection and just before Sunday. The check engine light popped on again. Now I’m absolutely freaking out and non stop Ruminating that he won’t be able to fix the pieces that cause the issues and never be able to figure out what pieces to fix that caused the issues. And the light will stay on forever and I won’t be able to get it inspected and won’t be able to drive it again soon and I’m saving Money but I don’t have the money just yet for a newer car. And I’m freaking out about this and my mind is running!!!! people did tell me that knew a good amount about this, that if there is issues, he’ll be able to check from the reader as he’s done and he can figure out what to fix and fix every issue with the car that is causing check engine light to come on and eventually he’ll fix every issue that causes the light to go on, so it’ll stay off and I can take it for inspection. But I keep thinking the other people close to me are wrong and My worries above this paragraph are true it’s eating me alive mentality and giving me extreme anxiety. Without a car I can’t drive to work, can’t make more money to save up for a car and my life is destroyed

Well when that guy can always enjoy my suffering because he knows I know he’s right with proof about the argument and his feelings on me as a person, there’s no reason to try to make myself enjoy my life and just suffer and give into what he wants me to do, suffer and not do anything and not go anywhere for the rest of my life. He’ll enjoy it

My family wants me to go to the game with them Saturday. They won’t take no for an answer and I don’t want to go; I want to die in my sleep

Every other week I see them, well they are trying to give me understanding through something called the abcd diagram of thinking or something like that. Bc this goes for more then this guy Over the Mets. Yes I have mentioned the political **** to my CBT dr bc when my aunts start this, it makes me focus on my uncle from years past who used to say all my life issues “were Obama’s fault because george w bush wouldn’t have allowed it and trump won’t allow it either” bc he passed in 2018

But @Clicketyclack you said I said this person is suffering. They aren’t suffering I didn’t say that!!!!! I said they are enjoying my suffering only in all the ways I said they are thinking how they know I know there right about everything and I’m suffering for what they said about me as a person and they are enjoying my suffering and want me to suffer for the rest of my life, and they want me to not do anything for the rest of my life and not go anywhere and enjoy it bc they are right and I’m wrong with proof and I deserve to suffer in there Mind!!!!!

Maybe the political **** here with the election is causing me distress bc my family is hounding me with there obsession for trumps perfectness and I can’t handle this ****. Im a moderate and they aren’t well educated

I have a therapist yes

Firstly I’m not saying this other person is suffering, if you read it correctly I’m saying how much they are enjoying my suffering knowing there right and I’m wrong about everything from the general manager argument to that I look like a fool aggressively making my point to just be wrong, to that there right that I’m a miserable uneducated worthless person that nobody wants to deal with and that they’ll enjoy that I’ll suffer thinking and focusing and remembering it and suffering for it living in it and that they’ll feel happy they made me suffer and made me not want to do anything and go anywhere for the rest of my life bc it’s what I deserve

The Mets were winning a lot that’s why. I felt Zack couldn’t enjoy my suffering bc he Couldn’t say that he knew that I knew that he was right with proof on the argument and the type of person I am

He’s absolutely telling himself after every loss. Or at least I feel he is “Im so glad kcbell is wrong and I’m right with proof, he got so aggressive to make his point that David stearns was a better general manager then Eppler and he wouldn’t listen to why I said Eppler was better then stearns and Kcbell made his point so aggressively and looked like a fool doing it, I know kcbell is absolutely remembering and thinking of what I said about him as a person. And he thinks I’m right and he’s wrong with proof like about the topic itself and I know he’s suffering in that he knows I’m right in what I said about him as a person, and that I hope he suffers in life and doesn’t do anything and go anywhere and he lives the rest of his life like that and he is miserable forever and I’ll be so happy after what he did to me that he thinks Into all of this and he suffers from it and doesn’t do anything and wastes his life away

He knows I know he was right and i was wrong with proof in his mind, and therefore he knows i feel he was right about how I look like a fool trying to make my point to Him aggressively, and he knows I’m thinking he’s right about the type of person I am and that he knows I’m suffering in my life thinking about that and he wants me to suffer the rest of my life so he can enjoy my suffering and be happy I won’t wanna do anything and go anywhere bc I’m wrong and he’s right in every way I said and he’s glad I’m suffering and don’t want to do anything and go anywhere bc of how I was to him and I was wrong and he was right about the argument and the type of person he said I am and that he can make sure I know how wrong I was and I’ll suffer and not want to do anything bc I was wrong and he was right and I got as Bad as i did

I serve absolutely no purpose in this world. He can always think this with proof and enjoy my suffering in the ways I said above, whenever they lose close games, I have nothing to live for. Nothing to motivate me and interest me and no reason to want to do things and enjoy it. Unless the Mets win and I can enjoy myself knowing he isn’t enjoying my suffering bc he was right about the argument over the general managers I’ve said in old messages and that he can enjoy that he’s right also about the type of person I am. I want to just drop dead

I find no reason to try in life knowing he will always enjoy my suffering when they lose close games. He’ll enjoy that I was wrong with proof and and that he was right about the type of person I am

I’m back to focusing on the Mets performances dictating my life. I have no motivation to do anything in my life; I have no reason or Desire to do anything fun and go anywhere and enjoy anything at all in any way because the Mets are losing games In a playoff race and they blew a 5-0 lead today and I’m back to thinking that guy on previous posts is enjoying my suffering in our argument and he’s enjoying what he said about the miserable uneducated worthless person that nobody wants to deal with. I don’t find any enjoyment in my life when the Mets lose bc of the guy I told you about. And I’ll rather just die in my sleep. There’s nothing for me to enjoy and be motivated and feel I can enjoy in my life bc the Mets lost. The guy is enjoying my suffering I’m sure as I’ve said before and I have no other interests to be able to motivate me and give me interests and desires to go anywhere, unless the Mets win and I know the guy can not be able to enjoy my suffering that he’s right over the argument and he’s right of the type of person I am. I want to just die in my sleep @PolarBear @snowbear @Garfield

It does seem so difficult bc I repeated the same line and similar for the last 3 hours over and over “I remember pulling the car doorknob twice, the car door didn’t open. It’s locked.” and it’s bothering me that I can’t just let this go and get over it and trust my memory and myself that yes the car door is locked

To Update this, I’m trying to find ways to just blow off a obsession and questioning whether I did it right in my memory, like i checked my car doorknob and pulled it to make sure it was locked and the door didn’t open. And to my memory after pulling the doorknob twice, the door didn’t open either time. I do have a very bad habit of telling myself did I remember it wrong? Did I not see it correctly in the moment? And it’s draining me and causing me to ruminating. And I told myself if my memory is that the door didn’t open when I pulled the doorknob twice, then my memory is right and I did lock the door and the door didn’t open when I tried to make sure it wouldn’t by pulling the doorknob and the still didn’t open after I pulled the doorknob but I don’t know why I’m second guessing myself as I am so much and doubting my memory of what I did wasn’t what I did and that I was wrong in my memory and in this case the door is open despite what I remember doing and that I know the door isn’t open. And I want to also work on just distracting my mind, so I’ll blow off and forget the obsession shortly after, as I noticed does happen when you don’t pay it any mind any advice?

Yes unfortunately social media has been a huge burden. So I’ve begun to limit it, I had gotten involved with a friend besides this in 2011 originally, I didn’t mention before who made films with me and at the time it was my passion and that friend after being close for 3 years, badmouthed me after 3 years, downgraded me and said I’m a terrible person who doesn’t listen and doesn’t want to listen and won’t improve and (I tried so hard to improve by them, and they either just kept badmouthing me or ignored me,) they left me in my thoughts about this bc they also said everyone was going to do to me what they did in the same ways for the same reasons. And then they would say and do all I said and then post pics and videos online all The time and the social media **** was the downfall. Bc I told myself I can’t do to another friend to lose them what I did to lose that friend as a friend. That friend is now a woman and is threatening anyone who does anything anti trans, they obviously had issues and I was the one who they targeted. then in 2016 I met a friend who had CP and probably didn’t realize or mean anything they did, but they basically said and did the same as the first friend in every way as they other friend and then they just blew me off, leaving me in my thoughts that this happened twice now with two people. Now I must meet a new friend and do whatever it takes to have the re assurance that I know that I can have new friends and not everyone will do to me what they did, in the same ways for the same reasons and it isn’t my fault and I can improve myself and if they get angry at me, I can prove myself as a better person to these new people. Which led to someone using me for $40,000.00. Point being is, social media was a destruction to my mental state and a big part of why I took all the others said seriously and why I handled myself with others the way I did to prove to myself that I can have new friends and I won’t always have every new friend do to me what the friends from the past said and the friends from the past aren’t right and I’m not a terrible Person who can’t make up for anything I did wrong to others. So I had to do all I could for all the re assurance I said above, by holding onto someone and doing all they say and making sure I don’t do wrong by them and if they have any issues with me. I can know with re assurance I am able to make up for it with them and the others weren’t right and it’s not that I’m a terrible person who does terrible things and doesn’t try to improve myself and all others will do to me what they did, in the same ways they did it, for the same reasons. (Despite me trying so hard to do right by them and them just continuing to either tell me I’m doing wrong with everything and just blowing me off, leaving me in the thoughts I mentioned above

I have a bad habit, not sure if it is ocd, probably is. I get so sensitive because it’s election season and whenever I see peoples aggressive comments about there side of things with the two parties and the amount of people who attack anyone who doesn’t like trump or Biden/Harris. And they go on and get aggressive and pushy and call out people and try to cause fights by manipulating people and baiting them to write on there pages about it. And when I see these posts, I start thinking of if they did bad things to me and I keep trying to read it to analyze if I know what they meant and I start thinking of what others said on the topic or against the topic to me. I do that a lot with people in situations, like the guy I told many on here who had an argument with me over the Mets general managers and how he liked the old one and I liked the new one and he told me I’m a miserable uneducated person and fan and nobody wants to deal with me. So when the Mets had a bad start. I got so bad that when the Mets lost I began thinking he was thinking into the conversation and choosing to enjoy my suffering knowing I know he was right and I was wrong in his mind about the Mets general managers and me being a terrible person. im honestly fed up with thinking like I do, and how much it affects me in all the ways it does. I need advice to handle all of this stuff better

I’m getting little like obsessions and starting to act on it and ruminating and I’m catching myself and saying it isn’t important, I’ll enjoy my day and go forward with that said and I’ll forget about the issue soon after. I’m feeling improvements from just being tired of these worries. any advice to add to this?

I’m trying to overcome because I’m heavily mentally drained over ruminating and I’m fed up with this particular issue. I’ve gotten better with ruminating in certain ways. But however, this issue still haunts me I have a bad habit of feeling I need to enjoy what I’m doing, from something as small as eating a meal, or as big as a Party or a trip I’m going on or invited to, that if like in my mind, even something as small as an itch or body pain, it comes and goes but in the moment I think it’ll last. Especially the body pain. If something as small as that happens or something as large as like I had a bad allergy attack at a huge get together last month and it lasted a short time, and I enjoyed myself a lot before and after, but most importantly I have a terrible habit of focusing and hyper fixating on the issues I feel or think I feel and start ruminating on several different ways worst case thinking it’s even take time periods out of days for a little bit separated, having to Ruminate to myself to overcome and understand that the issues aren’t that bad and won’t affect me and won’t last and I can still enjoy myself and all I’m doing in the moment and my memory of it, bc I can distract my mind to enjoy myself with what I’m doing by accepting and adjusting and dealing with it, but then I spend way to much time having to tell myself that to be able to just simply focusing my mind on the fun I did, and taking my mind off of the issue I think is a problem, so I can go back to enjoying myself. And I say it over and over like I said and takes way to much time to overcome in my mind at the moment and even though I enjoy most of the day and take alot out of my enjoyment of it in the moment and in my memory of it, despite the issues. It’s still draining and I really want advice to help me just blow it off literally, don’t even spend 10 seconds ruminating about how to let it go and enjoy myself. And just otherwise enjoy myself and then naturally ill forget it and let it go and move on. i know @PolarBear is very good with this as he’s described blowing off obsessions and compulsions, and he probably had it just as I’m describing now or very similar at one point